Here's my little girl in her sweet Christmas dress. One thing weight loss has afforded me is being present in the pictures I take of my kids.

Ok, I had another bad night last night. I over ate. Fischer had his friend Isaac spend the night last night. It was his first spend the night and we made cookies and popcorn. I was doing well, point wise. I even did good when we went out to dinner right before. I got a bowl of black bean soup (only 2 pts) and had 1 glass of wine (2 pts). I had 6 points left over to treat myself. I had even run 2 miles yesterday so I had some APs to help me. But then I just started shoveling food into my mouth randomly. I was feeling so "snacky." I ate so much popcorn I felt so bloated by the end of the night. *sigh*

I think I've allowed myself too many excuses lately. When I first started this weight loss thing I was done with excuses. And I think in the last month I've loosened up and let myself slide a bit. I really need to stop. I have plenty of room to treat myself within the program. The holidays are over and I'm getting back to business. My old self probably would have waited until after New Year's Day (since I'm having a few out of town friends over on New Year's Eve and two events on New Year's Day to go to). But I'm not putting it off one more meal. If I want to see goal, I need to focus. So, I'm planning out my big challenges this weekend.

New Year's Eve:

Start my day off with a run.

Church

Since I have control of what I'll serve, I'm going to put some stuff out that I can eat without going off program. Here's what I've decide on:

Shrimp cocktail (really low in points)
Veggie tray
Fruit
Baked Bre (not low in points- but something I promised someone)
Beer and wine!

Keep my breakfast and lunch really low on points to help afford me some extra points at night. My Weekly Allowance points don't renew until MONDAY!!!! So, I'm forced to work with only my daily points. But I can do it.

New Year's Day: (WA points renew, thank God!!)

Again, stick to low point breakfast. I really love the South Beach breakfast wraps. They are only 1 pt! I'll have to pick up more of those.

1st event: I'm sure it will be really yummy and tempting. My game plan is to stick to protein and veggies. I will not, I repeat I will not over load on carbs and sugary snacks. I'll fill up one tiny plate and no "seconds."

2nd event: I know it's going to be pizza and beer. My game plan is 2 beers and 1 pc of pizza. Period. That will work out to roughly 11-13 pts.

So that's my plan and I'm sticking to it !

Up 2.3 lbs! Can't say I'm shocked. I'm not really upset about it because the holidays are over and I know I won't face those kind of challenges for a while. Plus, I weighed in right after eating lunch, with jeans. I never do that. My WW scale at home has me at 148-ish. So, I think I maintained. I'll get in another weigh in next Tuesday. This time- go on an empty stomach and don't wear jeans! :)

On a fitness note: I've been kicking butt with runing! I've gone every day this week-2 miles a day. It feels so good to run. Though, my run last night was a little harder than the other runs this week. But from what I've read- that's normal. Ed got me an ipod shuffle to take on my runs. Light weight and easy to clip on anything.

Because of my binge on Christmas day I've been really careful all this week to not go over my daily points at all. And with running I get an extra 2pts to supplement my daily points so that's nice. It's caused me to get a little more creative with my meals and snacks. I went grocery shoppping one night this week BY MYSELF (love that!) and saw the South Beach diet morning wraps. They're in the frozen section. 1 wrap is only 1 pt because it's packed wth 15 g of fiber!! They're really good and have enough protien to keep you full. That's my new favorite low pt breakfast. Because I'm obsessed with my 3pt mocha from Starbucks- it's helps to have a low pt breakfast. That way I can have a "treat" later that day.

Well, today is Friday and I'm going to take it easy and just walk 2 miles today at the Y. I'm not sure when I'll go. Maybe I'll just walk in my neighborhood. Lord knows my dog would appreciate that. Then again, Fischer is pretty restless today so maybe we'll go to Kangazoom (indoor jump playground). We got some passes for Christmas. Ameila loves the infant play area. What to do....what to do.....

Get fitted for running shoes!

I had a full day yesterday committed to running. Ed stayed at home with Amelia and I took Fischer out with me to get fitted for some running shoes. I must have tried on 10 pairs. I didn't realize how important it is to get fitted. A sales person at the running store (Fleet Feet) watched me run and then suggested pairs based on my step. I would have just bought any pair that looked cool had I not researched and realized you have to get fitted. And I ended up spending less money! I picked up some socks too. Apparently you should never run in cotten socks. Learn something new every day...

After buying my shoes, Fischer and I headed to the YMCA to get my membership activated (Thank you Mom for the membership gift). I got on the treadmill and ran 2 miles without walking!!! That's big for me. The treadmill is much easier than running outside. But I know I need to mix it up with both to get my body used to it. I can't complete a 5k race on a treadmill. But I can increase my indurance and strength by doing gym and outside runs. :)

Well, still haven't made it to a meeting. Maybe tonight... I need to look at a meeting schedule. But I have been a very good girl the last two days. Stuck to the plan- not a point over. And exercised both days. Scale still says I'm 148 lbs- so maybe by the grace of God my Christmas chow fest didn't affect me too badly.

We're having some old friends over New Years Eve that are in town. SO my only challenge will be the food with that. But since I'm hosting- I can have some point friendly options.

I'm going to do my best to get to a meeting soon and post results!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

It's Chrismas evening as I'm writing. We got home about an hour ago after a whirlwind day of traveling, eating, and opening presents. The kids were so exhausted. Fischer ate sugar from 7am to 7pm. The kid was buzzed and crazed by the end of the day. I can't tell you how glad I am to be home and on my couch with my laptop- kids tucked away and out like a light, husband upstairs playing his new XBOX game that "Santa" got him for Christmas. It was a good day, even though it was busy.

Well, Christmas snuck up on me as far as making a game plan for food. I just totally forgot to really plan out what I should stick to and set limits for certain things. Perhaps I let my guard down because I had been staying OP so easily lately and had so much else going on (all of family sick, took baby to ER for RSV, and just general pre-Christmas busy-ness). Whatever the reason, I should have planned! We had two houses we "hit." The first I was a good girl. I stuck to small portion, chose wisely and didn't graze at all. The second house had more appetizer type food and less healthly choices. I started slowly, only filling up one small plate with a shrimp cocktail, some cookies and some chips.. Then, I just binged! I circled that table like a shark. I totally felt like my "old self" again. Living to eat. It was a really icky feeling. But I didn't stop there. After stuffing myself, then they brought out the pie. I had a small slice of that too. Then I went back and forth to the food table for the remainder of the time there. When we left I thought: "Thank God! It's over and I'm not eating anything else today. " Wrong. I got home and began putting things away. We were sent home with the typical goodie bag of treats. Before I knew it I ate 3 more cookies. I don't know what got into me. Luckily my weekly allowance points renewed today and I have the cushion of those extra 35 pts. But there's no telling exactly how much I ate. ?? But, I do know I'm capable of stopping it. So thank God the holiday is officially over and I can move on.

Other than that, it was a good Christmas. My family is the best.

I have weigh in at some point this week. My usual day is Monday, but since Christmas and New Year's Day falls on Mondays this year- I'll have to slip into another meeting. I'll post results. I'm most certainly going to make myself weigh in.

Run, run, run! So, I've run 3 days in a row. I have no idea how far exactly- but I'm guessing 1 mile. I'm actually impressed by that because a couple months ago I couldn't run a block, much less a mile. I ordered a book called The Complete Book of Running for Women. It arrived here this afternoon and I got a chance to skim through it. It's really motivating. And it functions sort of like a "go to" manual for women and fitness. Everything from beginning to run, menstrual cycles, body image, kind of shoes to wear, to finding "the hero within" (giggle). It really does touch on women issues. What I like about it is that it teaches you the practicals like technique and what to wear, how to breathe, ete. But it challenges you to love running. To resurrect the athlete within. To find solitude and rejuvination in running. And that's something that I really need right now. I was an athlete all through childhood and in high school, but it fizzled out in adulthood. I really want to get back in touch with that athlete in me. (That sounds so "motivational speaker" ish- but it's true!) :P

Well, to heighten my new fitness focus, my mom sent me a gift certificate for a 6 month membership to the YMCA for Christmas! I can't tell you how excited I am about that. I had a membership when Fischer was a baby and I loved it. I really want to take advantage of the classes offered and the indoor pool. I'm going there tomorrow to get my membership card and reaquainted with the facility. My goal is to get a class schedule for the various aerobic activities and go to them! When I was member before I never left the treadmill. This time I need to mix it up a bit. I can't really take advantage of the childcare yet though because both my babies have colds, but as soon as they are well- I'll start a weekday routine. Another advantage is that I can go at night and early in the morning if I want to. Yipee!

Okay, I'm tired and (as always) sleep deprived. I'm going to bed!

Holy crap! Down 3.4 lbs! That puts me officially at 148.2 lbs! I'm in a new "decade!!!!" This is great. This means that even with my 1.2 gain from last week- I'm still on track and didn't lose ground. That's a big deal to me. I'm now only 13.2 lbs from my goal of 135 lbs. Wow- it's getting closer. When I started this blog at 184, 135 lbs seemed impossible. Now it feels not only possible, but close!

So, I got up and ran this morning. I woke up late and then scrambled to get dressed and out the door before the kids woke up. I got my ipod together and was off! I was actually surprised how well my body seemed to be handling it. I think I have more endurance as a lighter person. I think the last time I really tried to run I was a good 40 lbs heavier. Anyway, things were going well until my ears started throbbing. It wasn't really that cold, but my ears suddenly felt like it was cold and seemed to ache like nothing I've experienced before. So, it made me run all the more faster to get home sooner. :) Next time- ear muffs.

But- that said, I completed Day 1 of running!

I did something really stupid! I registered to run a 5k on March 11! (http://www.shamrocknroll.org/10k/) Yikes! I've been telling myself for months now that I want to start running again. Well, who am I kidding, I never truly ran before- more like walk fast while hoping a bit. But the point is that I was capable of *jogging* a very slow 5k some years ago. So- I've got roughly 2.5 months to train for this 5k. I figured this would kick my butt out of the door in the morning since I actually need some motivation. I'm starting a plan from coolrunning.com called "Couch to 5K." It basically maps out baby steps to running that 3.1 miles.

I feel so foolish registering because I have no idea how far I can actually run right now since I've not run (for real) in years. But, I know I need to up the anty a bit and get my body and fitness level up to par with my Weight Watchers success. I was so inspired by a woman who also did WW and also began running. Her site is : http://www.msteechur.info/. Truly inspiring stuff on that site! This lady signed up and just started. And she started when she was around 225 lbs (and that already after she lost a significant amount of weight on WW). ANyway- now she's probably around 115 lbs or so. She looks great. All muscle and endless energy. I enjoy her blogging- dry humor. I tend to find little "nuggets" of wisdom that stick with me when I go site searching for weight/fitness inspiration. With this site it was this: "Don't plan your runs around your life. Plan your life around your runs." Good stuff. In other words: stop making excuses and do it!

So I guess my new goals are obvious: get out the door and run! Tomorrow is Monday. I start training tomorrow. I'm going to try and get up early so I can do it alone without the kiddos. My WW meeting is at 11am. So it will be a packed morning but it will feel so good to do it all.

I'll post running result and WW results tomorrow!!

Just found a great 0-1 pt snack/meal that I love! I was checking out a website of a girl on WW who posted a ton of recipes. (www.weightwatchen.com) and I decided to try her "Veggie Filling."

Here it is:

1 tsp olive oil
1 tomato, diced
1 yellow squash, diced
2 small onion-thick slices
1 red bell pepper, sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
Parsley
Basil
Oregano
Cumin
Onion powder
Garlic powder
Salt
Pepper

Stir fry this all together and the whole pot is 1 pt. I used La Tortilla Factory's low carb garlic herb tortilla (0 pt because it has 8 g of fiber!!) and put 1 lite string cheese (1 pt) in it. I microwaved it for 1 minute and then piled on the vegging filling. WAY good for only 1 pt! It's like a meal! I'm a hot sauce fanatic too so of course I dowsed the whole thing with hot sauce. This might possibly be my new favorite snack!

Keeping my eye on the prize!

I gained 1.6 lbs. :( Not totally out of the blue. I was so shocked I didn't gain last week so I'm sure my "gain" held off until this week. But I'm not that upset about because I know I'm doing well and following the plan. Speaking of plans, Weight Watchers came out with a new, personalized plan. I like it because I get 2 more points a day! Go to weightwatchers.com for more details.

Well, I'm weaning Amelia this week. Poor thing. For weeks now we've all been sick and she has gotten it the worst. She's been up most nights every 2-3 hours and is just unhappy at the breast. On a hunch I gave her a full bottle of formula and she gulped it down like there was no tomorrow. Not only that, but she slept 12 hours straight! This happened with my first baby around this time too. My milk supply plumets and my babies are perfectly happy with bottles. So- this will more than likely be the beginning of the end ofbreastfeeding. So- if there are any questions about how many points I eat due to breastfeeding- they're solved now: NONE! I'm actually a little depressed about weaning. I really wanted to nurse Amelia longer, but she's so happy with the bottle and I don't think I have the mental energy to work to increase my supply. I nursed her 8 months...wow. I can't believe my baby is already 8 months. Anyway- that's my rambling about that.

Onto weight loss! Now that I figured I was probably overestimating how many nursing points I needed to eat, I can now have a sure point range that should result in a loss each week. I've been teetering on the edge of the 150's and I'm desperate to be a permenant 140's kinda girl for December. And hopefully a 130's (135 to be exact) in the beginning of 2007. Man- these last 15 lbs are really trying my patience! But I have to keep going.

I bought a bunch of stuff to make some delicious WW recipes this week so I'm excited to try it all out. I actually made a good brownie recipe last night. It's sounds disgusting, but you add 1 can black beans to 1 box of brownie mix and 1 cup of water. Blend and bake! 350 for 30 mins. It's actuallly quite good! 2 pts for 1/16th of dish.

I have a few food challenges coming up. Two "girl's night" events Thursday and Friday so I HAVE to save my Flex for that. I'm not holding true to my "save flex points" strategy. This week I have to to ensure a loss next Monday.

Down 1.2 lbs! I almost didn't go to a meeting becasue today turned out to be a busy day right from the get go. But I made the time to wegh in and I'm glad I did.

Gotta run!!

Ok- I got a pair of size 6 "skinny" jeans at the Gap last week and wore them with my new boots. I remember swearing I'd never wear a pair of those when they first reappeared. But then again- I was bigger and thought they'd only accent my bigness. I wore them today. Ed took a pic of me while we were outside in the backyard. What's the verdict on the skinny jeans? Yah or Nay?

:)

This week has been very crazy. Firstly everyone in my family was sick. Secondly Ed and I did a project we kept putting off. We cleaned out our attic! I'll spare you all the details, but it was an all day event Saturday and I'm just down right tired. It's now Sunday morning. Both kids are asleep and I "snuck" up and made some coffee. Imagine that? I'm alone, drinking coffee and blogging!!! :)

I'm sticking to my "honesty is the best policy" plan. Confession time. The last few days have been not so great point-wise. I seem to just run through my flex points in the beginning to mid week and then I'm just getting grasping at straws Friday-Sunday (weigh in and Flex Points renew Mondays). I even had a plan for the week. I knew Sunday (today) we were going to my in laws to decorate the Christmas tree and eat lunch. And because my mother in law makes the best treats- I wanted to save all my Flex for Sunday so I could indulge. Well wouldn't you know I spent every last one! Now it's Sunday and I have no Flex left. Not only that, but last night I went 8 pts over my daily and flex pts! That just sucks. I'm over eating and I need to reign myself back in. In the rush of the Holiday season I think I've been too generous in my eating. But, I did make one smart move.... There was a cookie swap I was invited to. But due to my recent lack of self control I knew if I went I'd eat a gazillion cookies, so I just decided not to go. Now- that's not really the Weight Watchers way- because really you never have to deprive yourself, you just need to plan. But since my planning skills are not great right now- I just backed out. I need to snap out of it. I looked back at my stats on my weigh in card and I've only lost 4 lbs since Halloween!! What?? At the beginning of this journey I was losing an easy 8 lbs a month, sometimes more. Granted, I know weight loss slows as you approach goal, but I think I'm not helping with all my "exceptions" lately.

Looking back at my diet journel over the last few weeks I've noticed some key problems:

Problem 1: I'm getting a 3-5 pts coffee drink (mocha) almost daily. That's 21-35 pts that I'm spending on mochas per week. That's a lot considering I only have 26 pts a day. Yikes.
Solution: Limit mochas to 3 times a week. This will be hard for me because I really am addicted!! But I'm willing to do it.

Problem 2: I'm hording my pts and then blowing them on high point foods. Example: I really love Willy's (a burrito place). My favorite burrito there is the Veggie with everything (including sour cream and guacamoli). It's 15 pts for the burrito alone. Add a serving of chips and that's a 20 pts meal. I get this twice a week. I do this type of thing a lot.
Solution: Get a kids burrito (at least 1/2 the size of a regular) and get everything on it. That would cut the points down signficantly. Avoid the chips and I can eat at my favorite place and still stay on plan easily.

Problem 3: Night eating. I get frantic at night. I can do well until abot 3pm. Then it's constant grazing and food is branded on my mind.
Solution: Try to stay busy between 3pm and 5pm. I've tried this a couple times and it works well. Keeps me out of the kitchen and moving. Another thing I heard that works for some women is starting your day at 5pm. What that means is that I start counting points at 5pm and end at 5pm the next day. That way the pressure is off for dinner and night time. I haven't actually tried this yet, but I really think I should give it a shot since I'm struggling at night. Seems like it would work for me.

Ok, there you have it. That's my plan for the next 7 days.

I'll post my weigh in results tomorrow night!

Down .8 lbs!!! Not too bad considering it was the week of Thanksgiving and I know I splurged over my points. I keep telling myself: just think how many pounds I would have gained if I had eaten the way I normally did the past Holidays. So I'm pretty happy with that. It was nice because most of my extended family hasn't seen me since I was 9 months pregnant or just immediately post partum so they were all really shocked by how thin I was. It was nice and motivating to keep this journey on the right path. My aunt just kept looking at me and saying she wants to be "skinny" like me. That felt good. I can't remember the last time I felt "skinny." I just told her: "Join Weight Watchers and don't stop!"

I have been very busy here in the post Thanksgiving days taking care of my sick babies (Ed included). We all have colds and my little baby girl has RSV so I'm having to give her inhaler treatments 4 times a day to help her breath better. Poor thing. We're both not sleeping at night. She wakes up unable to breath well and I have to get the inhaler out and then nurse her. It becomes a 1 hour ordeal. Ugh. But luckily I've been able to get up in the morning and start the day with some energy. God's grace I suppose...

I'm still trying to figure out how many points I should be eating. I've currently been on 28 pts a day but because Amelia is nursing less and eating more solids, I'm wondering if my weightloss is slowing because I'm overestimating how much she's actually eating from me. So I may experiment on 26 pts a day. If I get hungry, I'll adjust and eat. I'd really like to see some substantial loss this month. Especially with Christmas coming. After Christmas I'll breath easier and then it's the countdown to my 10 yr high school reunion in April!!! Can't wait!!

Well, I'm teetering on the 150 mark. I can't wait to see the 140's. I think my official weigh in was 151.2 lbs on Monday. Oh man, I really want to see the 140's next Monday....

Updated pics!!


I used to hate this pic, but now I love it because it really shows how much I've lost!

184 lbs





150 lbs

THANKSGIVING!!!! Well, I did good. By good, I mean I didn't binge on Thanksgiving day. Instead I over ate the day AFTER Thanksgiving! Right when I let my guard down, a hot dog bit me in the ass! :) We went to Knoxville, TN to get together with my mom's family and I did so well the first two days. Then the last day (we decided to stay one more night on a total whim) we went to this Christmas tree festival downtown. We walked, and walked, and walked (I had Amelia in a sling) and then we were all hungry. The ONLY food option was a hotdog. That was it! It was weird. So I ate one. Then we got home and I just went semi-nuts and ate another plate of Thanksgiving leftovers!!??? I was NOT hungry and yet everyone else came home and started filling their plates so I just followed. Immediately after I finished it I had that icky feeling and got really mad at myself. I stuffed myself to the point of wanting to sleep. So I did. I just wanted tomorrow to come so I could start over.

So I wake up this morning (still in Knoxville) after a long night of my baby coughing and running a fever. None of us slept. I just can't sleep when one of my kids are sick. I ended up nursing her almost all night to comfort her. Poor thing. But- as I was so tired and hanging on by a thread I thought to myself: "Hey, maybe all the calories I'm burning breastfeeding my sick baby will help with the damage I did overeating last night." I'm so vain... So I reluctantly wake up and head upstairs to start loading the car. I walk up from the basement, open the door and there it is. I big box of fresh donuts. DAMN IT!!!!! It's like Satan is setting boobie traps for me left and right. :) So, I grab one in a frazzled, sleepy state and down it. We finally got our car loaded with everything and I had a chance to look up the points. For a chocolate cake glazed donut it's 7pts!!! Pisser! So I logged it in my food diary and went on. So far I've stayed OP all day. It's 4:30pm and I have 6 pts left and I'm not even hungry. I'm craving sleep more than chocolate at this point in the day.

My husband is so sweet. My little sick one has been sleeping the last 2 hours and even though Ed is dead tired, he took Fischer to the park. AND he offered to bring me back a mocha when he comes home! He knows the way to my heart. Just thought I'd share.

Well, today is Saturday. Tomorrow is Sunday and the next day is Monday: weigh in day. My goal is to stay OP the next 48 hours (and beyond) and maybe see a loss. But I know there's a possibility I won't lose due to my mishap, so I'm just going to set a goal to make it to the meeting and stay positive. I have a whole month before Christmas to lose some more. Then once Christmas is over I'll rest a little easier! :) My ultimate goal is 135. I'm 150-152lbs right now..... It's getting close!

I tried to attach a recent pic, but I got a new computer and my iphoto isn't working properly. Ed is going to fix it soon and I'll be sure to post one! I need to wear my new size 6's!!!!

Oh. My. God. I had some gift certificates to use from my birthday last month and I finally had the time to go use them. I went into the Gap and looked at the jeans. I used to wear Gap Long and Lean jeans in a size 14 back in the day. Well, I decided to try on some. I grabbed an 8 and walked around looking some more. Then, randomly, I went back and traded the 8's for a 6. I went into the dressing room and guess what????? They fit! And they really even THAT tight. I cannot believe it! I'm so happy. A size 6 jeans!!!! I can hardly believe it. I'm so glad I've been so faithful to this eating plan. It is really paying off! :)

Just had to share.

:)

Weigh in is in 2 days. I'll post results then!

Proof there is a God! As you can read in my last few posts I've been really discouraged and was on a plateau. Not having any significant losses and even having small gains. This whole past week has been awful. I've been so bloated, which has made my jeans feel tight and I've been retaining water like a mad woman. My scale has been all over the place. 153 one day and then 159 the next! I was really upset.

Then I get to my meeting this morning and totally prep the receptionist who weighed me.

Me: "I've had a really bad few weeks. I'm totally expecting a gain"
Receptionists: "Well, step on and let's see."
Me: (taking shoes and jacket off) "I'm even expecting my "lady friend" this month so I'm really bloated" (why did I share that? I have NO idea. I'm a dork)
Receptionist: *awkward smile*

I step on

Receptionists: "Wow- you did great!" *hands me back my weigh in record*

3.4 lbs gone! WHAT????!!!! How is that possible? I was so thrilled. I needed this so badly. I was really feeling a bit helpless.

Last night as I went to bed I talked to God a little. I shared my heart on how yucky I've been feeling. It's been sorta like a dream come true to lose this much weight and I was so sure I would get to goal. Then I stopped believing that in the last few weeks and resorted to some old thought patterns. I just told God that if there was anyway He could help me have just a little loss- I'd be so grateful. Then I just felt ridiculous praying about it in the first place. Ya know, since weight loss is such a pressing matter! Well, not only did I have a small loss. I had the biggest loss I've had so far this whole weight loss journey! So, there you have it, God answers prayers! Even if they're vain and stupid.

Something is just off. Every day this week I've crept up on the scale. I weighed myself tonight and I'm 159!!!! What??? I'm really starting to panic a bit. Up until now I've lost easily as long as I stayed on plan. But then things have just seemed to get a little screwy in the last 2 weeks. I know I went on vacation and that was a challenge- but I thought I handled it well. Then I get back into my routine at home and the numbers are going up. So I spoke with an online friend who is doing WW and breastfeeding and she thinks I'm eating too many nursing points- which would explain my why my weight loss has slowed down. So I altered that and here I am still creeping up on the scale. I'm due for my period any day now. It's my second cycle since having Amelia. So it's a little wacky. I'm late according to my calendar but I know that doesn't mean a whole lot since cycles can vary after they start back up after birth. Part of me is slightly paranoid I'm pregnant. Although I show no symptoms of that other than my period being late. Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was on such a roll and now I feel so emotional. Like the motivation is being drained out of me. And with the Holidays ahead of me- I feel like I'm not going to see a big loss until January! :(

An example of my lack of motivation was last night. Ed and I went on a date to see the Atlanta Thrashers play. I went there with 2 pts left for the day. My plan was to get a small latte (2 pts). Not only did I get a latte, but I also got a cinnamon pretzel (the big, hot, buttery kind), and 2 beers! I don't know what got into me. It's like I just went nuts. I know that there will be times that I'll go over in points- but it's been so long since then that I feel like I've broken my magic pattern. It's so hard for me, personaitly wise, to not throw the baby out with the bath water. I'm an all or nothing kinda chick. It takes a lot of me to brush myself off and walk on. But I know that's exactly what I have to do to be successful.

I felt compeled the last few days to blog here. Mainly because I need to procees my feelings and also be accountable to friends. No journey comes without bumps in the road. Just because I hit a bump doesn't mean I turn around and go back. I need to keep going. Being honest with myself is a huge part of how I've come this far. So being honest is what is eventually going to get me to goal. Now if all that "pep talk" will translate into my daily eating habits, I'll be fine! :)

One thing I need to let go of is the dead line I set in my head. Because I lost so steadily in the last 5 months, I had calculated that I would be at goal by Thanksgiving. Well that isn't going to happen. Not unless I lose 24 lbs in a week. So, I'm officially taking the pressure off and allowing myself to lose how ever slowly or quickly I lose. I think a healthy time line would be to get to goal by Amelia's 1st birthday in April. That allows me plenty of time. That also happens to be the same month as my 10 year high school reunion- so that's cool.

Well, there you have it. I feel better now that I got that all out. I really hope this "funk" passes. I have weigh in on Monday. I usually really look forward to weigh in day but not this week. Nonetheless, I'm going. I need to be at a meeting and absorb everything. I know I'll have a gain.

I'll post weigh in results Monday.

Victory! I weighed in yesterday and I had a .4 gain. I count that as a victory because I know I was not as good as I should have been at the beach. Considering I ate doritos, fried stuff, beer, wine, and lots of snacks! I was actually worried I would have gained 2 lbs or something. But, I'm back in Atlanta and back to my routine. I went to the grocery store and bought a TON of food. I really want to eat at home as much as possible to avoid added sodium and junk. They opened a new Super Wal-Mart near me (apparently the first ever urban wal-mart) and they carry this great peanut butter called Naturally More. It's all natural and has flaxseeds in it. It's only 3 pts for 2 tbsps. Considering regular peanut butter is 5 pts per serving, I'm glad to have the option. I actually like the crunch the flaxseeds give. I put some on a rice cake for a good 4 pt breakfast. The protein in the peanut butter keeps me full too. I'm trying to branch out and look for new things to eat to change it up a bit.

Phew! I went out of town for 7 days to beautiful St. George island in Florida and I actually maintained my weight!!! I had a few questionable moments while there. Hushpuppies, fried shrimp, french fries....just to name a few. I tried to counteract that with long walks on the beach with Amelia in the sling. My goal was to maintain and according to my home scale I did. I'll weigh in Monday and give an official update then. I think I'm due for my "lady business" soon- so I've been slightly bloated and craving sugar. :) I'm gonna focus on drinking a ton of water between now and weigh in. I think I've overdosed on high sodium foods which leads to major water retention. Hopefully I'll flush some stuff out!!

Going grocery shopping tomorrow. Stocking up on some fruits and veggies. I feel a bit out of my element lately. The last few weeks have been filled with birthday parties, vacations and just plain bad food choices. With the holidays ahead of me, I need to get back into a healthy routine. I'm gonna try some new recipes and change things up a bit. I'd love to be in the 140's by Thanksgiving. And maybe, just maybe be at goal for Christmas. What an amazing gift that would be!!! Think I could do it??