I love you, whoever you are

I'd like to take a minute and thank all of you who read my lil old blog.  It's nice to have a place to come and type.  And share.  Even if you don't leave any comments!


This year has been all about puzzles.  Taking puzzles a apart.  And putting them back together the right way.  And I'm thankful for what's come out of it.  Slowly but surely I've changed.  Inch by inch.  Thought by thought.  Prayer by prayer.  Like a giant Before/After picture of my brain, life, and heart.


It's cool.


And I like me.


I share too much.  


That's not always a bad thing.


I have 6 women I call friends.


Not acquaintances.

Deep, vulnerable, life giving, balanced friendships.

Good, bad and badder.

They have my back.

I never have to wonder.

Everyone deserves a least one real, REAL friend.

And I've got 6.

I'm blessed.

Spoiled rotten.


I have a marriage that is 100% "on" and I've never been prouder of us.

I couldn't have said that 2 years ago.

I'm in love with my husband today.

I want to grow old with him and watch "stories" with him.

I like that my children look like him.

Sometimes I fart on him to be funny.

You know you do it too.

I make impulsive decisions.

If I'm into something- you won't be able to shut me up about it.

Then it's something new next week.

I change my mind a lot.

I'm full of contradictions.

I make mistakes.

I pick myself back up and keep walking.

I hate my pinky toe.

I crack my neck 30 times a day.

I really, REALLY believe that a massage can change my life.

I'm spiritual, but not religious.

But I'm Jesusy spiritual.

But I'm not Baptisty Jesusy.

I've not been to church in months.

I'm seeing God in my life, mind and heart more than ever.

I have peace.

Like a freaking river.

 I like reality shows about dwarfs.

I know that they prefer being called little people.

But I like to feel like Snow White.

I have an obsession with my kid's toes.

I take pictures of my kid's toes.

And yet I hate my pinky toe?

A little too much.

I'm self conscious.

I put up a tough cover to hide my soft side.

But I'm all soft, squishy, weepy, and sentimental inside.

I am KNOWN.

I am LOVED.

This can change a woman.

I used to have a hard time saying I was sorry.

I say I'm sorry all the time now.

I've let go of a lot of bitterness.

I've reconciled with old friends.

I see a therapist once a week.

I've come a long way.

And I love you.

Whoever you are.

Hitting Walls and Moving Forward

Yesterday at 2:30 I hit a wall. You know that wall where you know you can't take a nap because your kids need a suitable parental figure to keep them from killing themselves (and believe me, they will) but you're so tired you hit a wall and want to curl up in a fetal position and enter a drug induced coma? Maybe it's just me.  Anyway, in an effort to avoid the library again:

(Yes, I go to the library and hook them up to virtual books and book reading.  You know, cause apparently it's not good enough when Mommy just reads it to us.  They like it.  I get a mocha on the way.  Win/win.)

Anyway, I was still recovering from total lack of sleep and my husband swooped in to the rescue. He suggested we go to the Aquarium. We live walking distance from the Aquarium and never go. At first I looked at Ed and though: "Can you take all three and I'll stay here and watch a Lifetime movie?" But then I reluctantly got on board and we headed out. I'm glad I did. It gave me an energy boost and the kids had a fun time.

I love this picture...

Picture with "Shark Man."

Then we decided after seeing all the magical, wonderful sea creatures....

that we'd like to go eat some...

Shepherd is not a fan of Crawfish..

Side note for Lost fans....Our waiter at the restaurant was named Jacob and I've been in Lost marathons lately trying to catch up to finale and mentioned to him that..."I've been watching Lost and it's all about this Jacob and so it's, like, funny that your name is Jacob because all I keep hearing about is Jacob and...oh yeah...er..so can I have a glass of wine?"  

He's never seen Lost.  I appear stupid.  Ed is, as usual, embarrassed by me.

On the exercise front...I made it to bootcamp this morning without anyone having a baby to distract me!  We burned 500+ calories easily.  And by easily- I mean we didn't even complete the workout I had planned before time was up and we reached our calories goal.  But it was hard.  Sprints, suicides, pyramid sets, planks, push ups.  Phew!  The group is growing with the summer crowd and we're cranking it up a notch.  If you live in Atlanta and want a good workout for free- come join us!

On the eating front...  I got to Trader Joe's yesterday and have stocked up the frig.  I cooked a batch of chicken breasts in the crockpot for lunches this week and made some sweet potatoes and brown rice to pull out as needed.  No excuse to eat shizzznit.  I'm back on track and just doing what I know to do- feed my body well and don't look back.  I've made a deal with myself that I won't get on the scale until Memorial Day (Monday).  I want to give body time to regulate with good nutrition and exercise before I see the numbers.  Plus, I'm finishing up my lady business.  I don't get near the scale on my period.  Duh.


Other notable things...

Apparently Shepherd knows exactly how to use a tampon.  He found a package in my bathroom cabinet, got one out and proceeding to squat down and put it near his rear end.   Ed is mortified.

When we asked Fischer what "bad" words he knows in an effort to discuss stuff like this openly, he immediately said "Fuck."    Fuck.

Amelia informed me that Chloe (the cat at her Montissori School) killed a chip monk.  "So then Ms. Heather just put it in the woods so it can decompose and come back to life as soil."  That'll work for now.

"Mikey" from the Goonies is the voice of Oso on Special Agent Oso.  Just sayin.

Turned my dining room into a playroom.  I can't believe I haven't done this sooner.  Yes, baby is climbing up tall toy bin holder in picture.  It's cool though, he moved on to the electrical outlets thereafter and didn't fall.