Is weight loss in your head?

Being a doula teaches me so much about fitness and healthy living.  I say to my clients all the time: "your body will follow your mind, be careful what you're telling yourself."  This is so true for women, in general.  But what's interesting is that it really impacts the image we project of ourself in our minds.  Ever have days where you feel really good?  You've been nurturing your body with good food and good exercise and then you step on the scale and it's not giving you the numbers you want and suddenly in a matter of minutes you feel fat and ugly?  And then that projected idea of yourself some how erases any good things you've done for yourself and you follow your mind.  You follow your mind down that path where small choices don't seem to matter, where you'll never succeed, where you feel like you're buried under it all and it feels like the weight of the world?  And so then how can you pick yourself up and start back?

God can I relate to this.

And I think this happens to every well intentioned, well disciplined healthy liver.   And I think the reason it devastates us so much is because we sort of live our lives with our flags at half mass.   Because our life can't really begin until we're thin and fit, right?  And so we sort of view everything threw our mind fog.  No clothes really look cute because we're still at X weight.  We don't take pictures with our kids because we're fat.  We miss out on life because we don't accept ourself as we are.  Because we think too much about the goal and what the "other side" will be like.  The other side is, after all, greener- right?  Right?

It's not.  Sure, one demon might be slain, but 7 more will pop up in it's place.  It's like they're having a big fucking party in our head- waiting to rearrange and set up camp in a new area.  And destroying things left and right.  So, what if we lived like we were  skinny?  What if we took pictures and bought clothes and felt beautiful, even though (gasp) we aren't "skinny?"  What if we faked it till we maked it?  I know that sounds all wrong- but it's my only real grammatical option to make my point okay?  What if we just chose to raise our flags high (I know- cheese ball, but stick with me)?  Because the thing is- either you can choose to be happy now WHILE losing weight (if that's your goal).  Or you can be miserable and feel like you've been on a diet for 10 years with no progress.  Because the attitude behind it really is the determining factor in whether you'll reach your goal.  And please make it a realistic goal-  no sense in beating yourself up over unrealistic expectations.

If you can relate to this at all- please go get "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth.  So, so insightful.  I'm reading it now and she's totally rocking my world.  For those of us that have so much baggage tied up in food and weight- it's like our Elizabeth Gilbert.   Except cooler.  And she won't braid our hair.  I don't really know what that means, but it made me giggle.

Okay- that's your Friday Fraggles.  I pulled that out of my ass.  What if every Friday I posted something under Friday Fraggles?  Did you guys watch Fraggle Rock?   I miss that show...

Okay- SMOOCHES!  Please love yourself.  You will make it.

Jazz Hands,

Jen

Cardio or Die

Remember that whole post about how exercise is useless for weight loss and diet is the sole determining factor?  Well, if you're a woman, it's even more true.  Don't you hate it when a man loses weight and you ask him how and he says he stopped drinking beer.  Huh.  Well isn't that special.....  And then us ladies have to track every little morsel of food that passes through our lips and run 5 miles/day to lose 1/2 a pound in one week.  Because somewhere in our DNA is the "pack it on the back of the legs and hips so that when she gives birth and nurses we can make sure we definitely don't run out of fat to supply milk" gene.  Then the other gene that says: "You know what?  Let's be double sure and give her mad love handles.  And while we're at it- let's add just smidgen to her chin.  K?  Thanks!"

As part of this training, I have to figure out exactly how much weight to lose to get me into the 9% body fat group.  Now, in my head that means, like, 60 lbs.  But then again, 90 lbs just isn't all that becoming.  So, I had to do a little real math to figure it all out.   I can only assume I'm in the 20% and above category right now.   One, because Bag O'Saddles are really flaring right about now.  Alone- they probably make up 15% of that fat I'm trying to lose.  Two- I store fat very proportionately.  I'm an equal opportunity fat distributer.   Everyone little part needs some fatty love.  Good news is that women like to store fat in their hips and thighs.  So it's usually the last to go.  Meaning, I'll lean out up top before I lean out down yonder.  That sounded weird, but you know what I mean.   Short of going somewhere and having my body fat calculated by a large pincher thingy, I'm going on faith that I'm over 20%.  Let's be real- it's not a huge leap of faith.  You'll get this when I post my before pics. So here's the math:

20%-11%= 9% (body fat goal)

150 lbs (my current weight) X .11 (11%)= 16.5 lbs

150 - 16.5 = 133.5 lbs (competition weight)

That needs to be 16.5 lbs of pure fat.  I will be building muscle a long the way- which weighs more than fat.  But I gotta burn that fat.   So 16.5 lbs of fat will require lots of cardio.  Cardio first thing in the morning on an empty stomach is recommended.  You get more burn for your buck because your body is using it's reserves instead of what you ate last.  Which is what I've been doing with bootcamp anyway.  I will eat my last meal around 5pm the night before- then not again until I get home from bootcamp the next morning at 7am.  And really- this makes sense.  Our digestive systems slow WAY down in the afternoon/evenings.  Eating when it's wanting to slow down and rest means it will just store what you've eaten.  Isn't that special?  And I've always lost weight better by eliminating night eating.  It does mean I will need to do more cardio than I originally thought for this particular training.  I thought I got to just hang out and do some biceps and maybe a drink a protein shake or something.  Nope.  No slacking.  Shit. 

But I'm up for the challenge.  I'll post my weigh ins on Mondays.  Today it was 149.6 lbs.  Pre pregnancy was 140 lbs.  But my competition weight needs to be 133.5 lbs.  So that's my goal.  

What's your favorite cardio???

Exercise is useless for weight loss

I've heard "abs are made in the kitchen" when talking about belly fat.  In other words- you want flat abs?-then you better put down the cookie dough and not talk yourself into that organic, whole wheat, cane sugar "because it's healthy" bull shit- cause you're fooling no one.  Overeating is overeating.  Period.  Speaking of periods- they are not an excuse to eat chocolate by the fist full.  Okay?  Okay.  I'm talking mostly to myself as I, of course, decided to start this lean, crazy healthy eating THE WEEK before said period.  All I'm dreaming about is drowning in a mocha pool where the only life rafts are hot Krispy Kreme chocolate glazed donuts.

I think I just had a foodgasm.

Anyway, back in 2006 when I lost 65 lbs - I did so with zip, zilch, nada exercise.  Okay- maybe I walked a little.  Nothing consistent.   I really never did anything except monitor my points religiously and the weight came off at the rate of 2-3 lbs per week.  Easily.  Goes to show if you follow a plan- it will work.  But when it came to maintenance- I needed exercise to keep it off.  The New York Time's wrote an article  that confirmed this for me.  Obviously I'm a huge proponent of exercise.  The mental health advantages alone are worth it to me.  Not to mention all the wonderful things it does for your overall health.  However, if your only purpose for exercising is weight loss- then forget it unless you're closely monitoring you intake.   In order to lose weight- you need to have a calorie deficit.  You gotta burn more calories than you're taking in.  The reason I think exercise is hard on those of us trying to lose weight is because it makes us more hungry and we tend to adapt  the "I deserve this" approach.

For example:  say you run 6 miles.  Pretty big deal, huh?  You probably burned about 600 ish calories.  Good job!  Well, later you go to a friend birthday dinner.  You made good choices, avoided the the crazy processed gooeyness and maybe have a drink.  Then the red velvet cake comes.  Your eyes lock on the creamy sweetness and you start negotiating in your head:

"No, I don't need the cake."

"But, it's special occasion"

"But I didn't plan for it and it's really not that big of a deal"

"But, it's homemade and looks amazing."

"Well, I did run 6 miles today..."

A slice of the red velvet cake is roughly 580 calories.  And that's if you're taking a thin slice.  So you just traded 6 miles for a thin slice of cake.  Now, if it's a special occasion and you're allowing yourself a treat- I say go for it!  I used to get up early on Thanksgiving to run off what I was about to eat later that day.  I get it.  But if you're trying to lose weight (create a deficit)- you have to be WAY more mindful of your intake than your calorie output (exercise).  Maintenance is sort of a different ball game.  The body wants homeostasis.  It's easier to eat more loosely with exercise and maintain. 

Losing weight is just plain hard and takes some dedication.  I've had some years off from that dedication with maintenance (which was mainly controlled with exercise) and pregnancy (mainly controlled by Chocolate Peppermint Milkshakes).   So, I'm learning all over again how to have self control and get to where my goal is (which I always make sure is healthy and sustainable).  I know from experience that once I reach my goal weight- I don't have to be as strict.  My love of fitness will help me keep that in check.

Right now I'm watching calories.  On training days (Mon-Fri) I eat about 1500-1700 calories.  On non training days I eat about 1300.  And I'll play with those numbers until they work.  Right now nothing is working because I'm PMSing and blown up like a balloon.  Usually I gain about 3 lbs with my period and lose it almost immediately when I start my period.  SO......yeah.  If there's anything else you'd like to know about my bodily functions- I'd be happy to fill you in.  Just shoot me an email.  You should see what happens when I eat chinese food!

Don't even get me STARTED....  (in my best Molly Shannon voice)

Hammies

Holy Cow these figure ladies don't mess around.  I did my first "training" routine yesterday.  Hamstrings, calves and lower abs.  Or "holy shit my hammies are going to rip apart and burn up."  But I did it!   I kept re reading it thinking there were typos on the number of reps and sets.  Nope.  I was drenched in sweat and burned 275 calories doing:

HAMSTRINGS
Lying leg curls (with ball) These KILL!
Stiff legged partial dead lift (with 15 lb DB- 30 lb total- need more)
Standing leg curl (with resistance band)
Dumb Bell lunges (press w/ heel)
Seated leg curls
Step Ups / 3 sets of 30 to each leg

CALVES (4 SETS OF 15)
Leg press/Calf (toes in) -onstairs
Leg press/Calf (toes out)-on stairs
Standing calf raises (toes forward)

LOWER ABS (3 SETS OF 25) 

Hanging leg raises

Hip raises

Weighted Frog Kicks

After doing this yesterday, I woke up for bootcamp this morning and started down the stairs only to realize my calves where shot!  I swear I nearly fell. Guess it's all working. 

It's clear to me that I'm going to have to resurrect my gym membership right when I got all cynical and "I don't need you stupid gym."  80% of the sets are meant to be done on a machine.  And I'm pretty creative with modifications, but I'll need to challenge myself more without having to buy some fancy pants all in one machine thing to keep in my bedroom.  Especially the dead lifts.  The highest dumb bells I have are 15 lbs (30 total).  I need a true bar bell to lift and add weight.  All in good time.  


In the mean time I'm reading books like: "Women's Strength Training Anatomy " and "The New Rules of Lifting for Women."  So I'm all hard core now you know.  I'm not a fan of thick necked women or man arms- so I'll be customizing my muscle build and toning to my liking.  I want my legs to get smaller, but stronger.  But not man legs.  In fact, I don't want man anything.  But what attracted me to the idea of figure training was how strong these women are.  It's not about getting waifish.  It's about embracing your body and working hard to make the best of it.  And I really like that.  

Falling in love with running again

Or maybe I'm just high on the endorphins.  Lately any time I got out and ran I felt like I was dragging kettle bells behind me.  It felt too hard.  I mean, it's supposed to challenge me, but not like running under water.

But today was different. 

 I did my old 5 miler route and really enjoyed it.  The first 2 miles always suck.  But then my body got in the groove and I just zoned out and listened to music.  I'm a very slow runner.  Like, some people can walk faster than I can run.  I don't care.  I have no desire to increase my time like the cool kids.  I'm all about finishing the distance, not killing myself to get there 5 minutes faster.  And if that's not good enough- then I'll just pull out my "I gave birth without medication" card and that'll shut them up.  Anyway, I did 5 miles in just under 59 minutes and burned 659 calories!  It felt so good.  And I finally got the runner's high around mile 4.  You know that high where your legs just keep moving and you feel like you can go forever?  Everything becomes harmonious and you feel at peace and your body is running like a well oiled machine?  And the birds start chirping and bambi comes to cheer you on? Yeah..   But then you see your car in the distance and think "Oh for fucks sake- thank God it's over!"

So that was this morning.

Now I'm planning my Friday which happens to be a fun one because the hubs is taking off early today AND the high is 70 degrees AND I'm looking forward to going to the park this afternoon with the kids.  Fischer's first official baseball game is tomorrow- which has me so excited I don't know what to do with myself.  He and I practiced outside last night for 2 hours.  Throwing balls, catching calls (that's what she said), grounders, hitting, etc.  I love me some baseball. My husband will make fun of me, but I was on varsity softball all through high school and loved it.  He makes fun of me because I say that a lot.  It was the formal "I gave birth naturally" card.  Anyway,  I hope to coach as all the kids get older.  Though I might get all hard core on their asses and make them do suicides and planks and stuff like that.

Speaking of planks- Bootcamp starts in 2 weeks!!!  Ack!  I'm not so worried about the workouts since I've been prepping for a month.  It's the adjustment of getting up at the butt crack of dawn that I'm dreading.  But, as I always do, I'll get used to is.  But I feel for my poor little boot campers.  They have no idea all the horrible things I'll unleash on their asses.  I feel like I've written "asses" a lot in this post.

Huh.

Well, on that note.  I'm going to get my ass to a Cuban restaurant to eat before picking up the middle kid from school.  Get outside if it's nice where you are!  Move!!  :)

Jazz hands,

Jen