Wednesday, October 31, 2007


We've had a busy weekend so forgive me for not posting in a few days. I stuck to my points all last week and took a workout class or ran everyday. I felt so good (and earned APs). So far so good this week. I took a class Monday and Tuesday and rested today. Orginally I wanted to earn some APs today since it's Halloween and I knew candy would be around. But my body was telling me to rest. My little boogers were so cute in their costumes! Fischer was Spider Man and Amelia was a fairy. It could have been a train wreck of a day, but it wasn't. I did divert from my plan, but not too horribly. :) I used more flex than I wanted to, but that's okay. That's what they're for. I'll just need to get creative the rest of the week to keep my points in check.

We're going out to eat with some friends Friday for Mexican. I really want some chips/salsa and a taco. I'd like to play my cards right and earn some APs and eat lite in Friday. That way I have a hefty portion of daily allowance points, plus APs, plus my 9 flexies I have left over. See? Isn't Weight Watchers exciting??!!!

Here's my tracker:

Muffin: 1 pt
Mocha: 3 pts

Blue Corn Chips: 3 pts
Refried Beans: 2 pts
Rice Crips: 2 pts
Tabouli: 1 pt

Carrots: 0 pts (I never count carrots)
Hummus: 2 pts
Rice Crisps: 4 pts (ugh)

wine: 2 pts
Chili: 7 pts

Trick or Treating:
Two bites of snickers; 2 pts

Total: 29 pts
9 Flex Used

Friday, October 26, 2007

Birthday festivities has kept me from posting the last two days...

Fischer and I had our birthday yesterday. It was fun. Yesterday was more for Fischer than me. (I'll celebrate Saturday) We ran errands all day, had lunch and then got dressed up for his little Kangzoom/Spider Man party. I had a piece of pizza there and a couple bites of cake. Then we came home, got the kiddos to bed and I went out for drinks with Monica. 2 Vodka-Diet Cokes. 4 pts. :) You'd be so proud of me. I soooooo wanted to order an appetizer. I ate that piece of pizza at 5:30pm. By the time I got out for drink with Monica I was 8pm. So, I had built up an appetite. But still- I exercised self discipline. I just kept focusing on my birthday dinner Saturday night and all the food I'd like to have then. :)

Today has been busy already. I got Fischer ready to go to school and thought: "is there something I'm forgetting?" Then got out the door. When I pulled up for carpool I immediately knew what I forgot! DRESS UP DAY!!!!! Shit! Shit! Shit!!!!! Hi, I"m a loser mom. I look at Fischer who is just now noticing everyone in costumes. I told him I was going to grab his Spider Man costume and I would be right back. I dropped him off, ran to Target, ran IN Target with Amelia in my hip. Of course the Halloween section is the furthest possible points from the entrance. Boy I earned some activity points! I was in and out in 2 mins! Luckily I saw my friend Karyn with her son who was going to the school. She took the costume for me. Phew!

So, after THAT Amelia and I go to Whole Foods to get some VitaMuffins. I can't find them anywhere else and they're only 1 pt per muffin. I'm such a muffin person in the AM, so it's nice to have some low point stuff. We picked up a strawberry cake for our family celebration at our house tonight. I'm having my parents and Ed's parents over for our birthday celebration. I'm putting a lasagna in the oven and serving salad and garlic bread to go along. I also planned for this as well.... I bought the big Stoffer's lasagna for everyone else. I also bought a small Lean Cuisine lasagna for me. I'll cook it all together and throw my lasagna on a plate and no one will no I'm eating something "special." :) I'm going to skip the cake and have a Slim-a-Bear (like Klondikes, but low in points). That's my plan.

Here's my tracker for today. I'm going to start including a morning scale reading with my trackers...

Scale reading: 145.2 lbs

Mocha: 3 pts
Vitamuffin: 1 pts

Lean Cuisine Pot Stickers: 5 pts
Salad w/ ff Ranch: 1 pt

Lean Cuisine Lasagna: 6 pts
roll: 1 pts

Slim-A-Bear: 2 pts

Total: 19 pts (with 1 pt to spare)

I'm hoping to make it over the YMCA today for a class or a date with the treadmill. Either way the goal is to earn 3 APs. So that will allow 4 extra points for wine with my lasagna tonight!

Feeling good....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Deep breath in........and exhale.......

I'm in heaven. I'm at Octane, a local coffee shop about 1.5 miles from my house and I'm on my computer and doing some doula work. What is "doula work?" you might ask. Well, it's not laboring women drinking coffee here at Octane. Doula work is research, research, research. I've been through my training and my books and 35 plus births, but if I go to a birth and get stumped by something, I usually note it and then research it afterwards. So, that's what I'm doing. I've got 2 clients coming up in November. I had October off since my one October client delivered early. :)

I have a sitter day (you know, since I'm at Octane w/o kids) and I just love Tuesdays. I use it to do my prenatals, run errands and then I meet my girls for our Total Body class at the YMCA at 4:30pm. It's just nice. Then, THEN, I get to go see one of my favorite bands, no TWO of my favorite bands play tonight. Over The Rhine and Rosie Thomas. I'm going with some of my favorite girls and I'm excited to get out and enjoy some music. I'm planning to save some points for a few drinks if I can. :)

Here's my tracker:

Mocah: 3 pts
WW muffin: 3 pts

Octane Baked Tofu sandwich (cibaca bread, herb baked tofu, tomatos, greens, vinegarette): 7 pts (estimate)

Going to Total Body with is 4 APs.

I'll post an update later.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I do two things when I wake up in the morning. One is go straight to Amelia's room (she's my alarm clock) and pray she hasn't rubbed her shit all over her crib. I say shit because you try calling it "pooo" or another cutsy name after cleaning it up several times a week. It's freaking shit! It looks like shit. Smells like shit. And it's gross as shit to clean up. Let's just embrace the word shit, okay? My daughter has inherited my creative ability to get herself out of any pajama outfit I put her in and open her morning diaper and paint. My mom says I did the same thing. Personally I think as a child I was still grossed out, but perhaps "forged" my way through for the sake of the art. Amelia: she thoroughly enjoys it. So, anyway, that's the first thing I do. Never boring here at the Gordon's.

Second thing I do is go to I'm obsessed. If I'm home, I check it every hour, on the hour. I love the pictures. I follow their "people tracks" like a dog follows fresh meat. Seriously. I'm even willing to say I'm more obsessed with than mochas! *gasp*

Why do I tell you this? Well, because it's a habit. It's a habit ingrained into me. I do it automatically, without thinking. Seriously- do you think I'd clean up shit everymorning if I "thought" about it? No. But my point is that habits stick. They do. Now technically if you do something for 3 weeks straight, it will become a habit. I've seen that happen for me with exercise. I love it. I miss it when I can't do it. It's just a part of my life. Now, in the past, staying OP has been a major habit. It stuck like glue. Now staying OP is like putting two wrong side of a magnet together. And I even react like I would if I were trying stick two wrong sides of a magnet together. I smile, wondering why it's not working and then throw in the towel. But you say: "Jen, we've been reading your blog and you did great out of town!." Um, yeah, you could say that. Up until the last day (or as I like to call it: "cope day.") This is the day that all the stress of being surrounded by food and family gets to me and I cave and start mimicing what I see and eat everything in sight. And then some. Did I post about that? No. Should I? Yes. Going to my mom's is like sending an alcoholic to a bar. Food is the entertainment, the comfort, the solution, the end all. Monica said my visit was successful simply since I waited to cave until the last day.

Anyway- that's my confession. My solution is to make staying OP a habit again. I notice that if I stay OP a whole day, the next day is easier. SO that's what I'm doing. :) And when better to start the week of my birthday? Ha! I've got little birthday gatherings sprinkled throughout the week- so this will be fun. (Not funny "ha ha", but funny "oh shit!") Geez..I'm really loving shit these days...

Anyhoo, today is going A OK so far. Got up and dressed with my offsring in tow. Carpool day. Dropped the boys off at school, went to Starbucks- got the wrong drink! They gave me a regular mocha instead of a non fat, no whip. So that's more points that I wanted! I drank it anyway because I was late and need the caffiene. Headed to my "Heat" class at the YMCA. My friend Candace met me there. 15 mins through and we both gave the knowing look to eachother: "Yes, I think I'm going to hurl and then have cardiac arrest. Just so you know." But, nonetheless, we made it through the class (aka BOOTCAMP). Earned 4 APs.

Here's my tracker:

WW oatmeal: 2 pts
mocha: 5 friggin pts
apple: 1 pt

Chick fil A Chargrilled chicken sand: 5pts

WW keylime pie yogurt: 1 pt
1/2 cup All Bran: 0 pt
2 tbsp ff cool whip: 1 pt
grapes: 1 pt

Dinner :
Veggie chili (aka: Pot of cans! - canned sugar free bakes beans, lite and dark kindey beans, diced tomatos, tomato sauce. Then zucchini, onion and carrots. ): 4 pts
Crackle flatbread: 4 pts

Total: 24 pts
AP's earned: 4 pts

Right on track!

Update: I went to the WW meeting tonight. Good for me. :) Though it was funny because two ladies got into it a bit over whether muscle weighs more than fat. Um.....a lb of muscle is the same as a lb of fat! A pound is a pound dudes. It was kinds amusing watching them go back and forth over it. Clearly one girl did not "get" it. "But when I work out I gain weight!" Well, honey, that's because you're eating a piece of cake that's 15 points after you'd only earned 2 pt walking 30 mins. Sorry. I'm convinced that's why people end up gaining when they workout.

Anyway, got my mojo back and feel good. Track, track, track. My mini goal is to not use my 35 Flex until Saturday (my birthday party). Wooohooo!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

It's Sunday and the kids and I have packed our bags and are catching our plane later. I'm trying to down play the plane ride. The plane trip is always eventful. Amelia do I say this.....a diva. She simply cannot be bothered by constrictions. She hates car rides, she hates plane just pisses her off. Now Fischer- that boy could sit in a carseat all day. Give him a chocolate milk from Starbucks and he's good to go. Different strokes for different folks.

Yesterday was fun. Earlier in the day my sister and I went to the YMCA and played raquet ball. For some reason raquet ball makes me pee in my pants every time. Not because of post baby incontinence issues (though I have to say when I work out really hard, I should probably wear Depends) But simply out of laughing my ass off. My sister and I laughed so hard while we shot the ball around like a pin ball machine. See, we suck at raquet ball really bad. What's funny is that we have to hit it and then dodge it as it comes back to get us. Both of us walked away with minor injuries. We're both fiercly competitive and think we know everything about every sport, but clearly we suck at raquet ball.

Last night we celebrated mine and Fischer's birthday. (I keep typing that and I know it's grammatically wrong) We went to a Japanese restaraunt. I got grilled shrimp, brown rice and veggies. And a big ass glass of wine. :) Then we came home and had cake . It was damn good and well worth the points! Chocolately goodness with cream cheese icing to top it off.

Lindsay and I then went to a God awful movie. I wanted to see Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Lindsay insisted on a comedy. The only comedy playing at the theatre near us was The Combacks. The cast alone was enough to make me think it couldn't be that bad. Lots of people from Best Week Ever, "Jan" from The Office, just familiar faces. Oh my God was I wrong! It was awful. So much so that Linsday walked out 1/2 way through. I was too stubborn (since I paid for the tickets) to leave. I was hoping it would get better. Not so much. It was a dumb movie with dumb sexual jokes sprinked throughout. *gag* Don't see it.

Wel, I'll be back in Atlanta tonight. Cranky, sugar laden kids in tow. (Sugar is the only thing that stops them from screaming on the plane.) It will be good to see Ed. Good to be in my own bed. Good to get back to life.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Day at the State Fair

So my mom was really excited to take the kids to the North Carolina State Fair. So we went yesterday. It was so freaking hot! Why is it hot in October????? Anyway, we all know that food at a fair is not the most WW friendly. I was starving when we got there and opted to get the chicken wrap (one of the few unfried things). It was pretty good. I ate a few of the kid's fries too. Then later we got cotton candy and candied apples. I ate a little of both. I figured..I was at the fair and it's not like I eat cotton candy and candied apples every day. :)

We came home in time for me to get changed and go to an aerobics class at the YMCA near here. Kicked. My. Butt. But it was good. I needed to burn off that cotton candy! I came home and then crashed. I was so tired from the day's events. But I wanted to write about it because I considered it a victory that I didn't binge on Fair Food. I mean, I had stome high point things, but I didn't over eat. And I even earned some APs. :)

Today I'm focusing on staying completely within my points (no flexies!) and getting in another workout. I need some new running shoes. It's amazing how quickly running can wear out your shoes. Most runners need to replace their shoes every 6 months. I'm on my third pair now!!! :) I'm going to go out and get some today. I just need to find a place that "fits" them to your running stance. We'll see.

Amelia is down for her morning nap and Fischer is playing with matchbox cars right now.... I'm sitting in a recliner with a quilt over me and my laptop. It's going to be hard to even get up. Much less get dressed! But I will. I promise!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Hola from North Carolina! I'm at my mom's house visiting. The kids and I few in this morning. I'm sure I earned 2 APs on the plane ride alone. Amelia was giving me a run for my money. Back arching, squealing..... (yes- I was THAT mom and NO it's not that easy to whip them into shape with they out number you). At least they held it together until about the last 20 mins of the flight.

Anyway, I check out the the local YMCA's website. I mapquested it and I'm going to there tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can catch a class. If not, I'll do the treadmill and pick up a class schedule. I'm determined to stay active while here. Then we're going to the State Fair. Oh joy! For some reason I absolutely dread things like this with kids. Stresses me out. Amelia is 18 months and literally wants to run around everywhere. She's not a huge fan of the stroler either- so we'll see how this goes. :)

Well, here's my tracker... Pretty "ok" for not having a lot of control over my meals today.

Mocha: 3 pts
crumb cake: 7pts
cracker: 1 pt (airplane)

chili: 5 pts
crackers: 2 pts

chili: 5 pts
crackers: 2 pts

apple: 1 pt
ww cake: 1 pt

total: 27 pts 7 flexies used

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Okay- I didn't exactly stick according to plan last night at my doula get together. Wine was there. I'm a sucker for red wine and chatty women. :) I had 3, yes three, glasses. Why? I don't know, it was just fine. We sat around for a long, long time talking and I had two large glasses (of which I'm counting it as three). Other than that- I stuck to my plan. Small portion of soup and bread. OH, and instead of eating the dessert- I had 3 small pieces of chocolate that someone brought. It was in tiny, shaven pieces, so it wasn't much. :) But I'm afraid I have to use some of my flexies for that night.

Today I woke up after a long night of both kids waking up randomly. I was exhausted, but had a postpartum visit with a client, so I needed to hit the ground running. I swung (is that a word?) by Starbucks, got my mocha and head out. Forgot breakfast (bad girl). Then I met my best friend for our weekly Tuesday lunch at Taqueria ( for some chips and tacos. I overrate on the chips and I knew exactly why- I was famished from no breakfast.

Good news is that I'm going to earn 4 APs at my Total Body class today. So I'm right on track.

I'll probably have a Progresso soup for dinner tonight. I have to pack for me and the kids. We're flying out to my mom's for the rest of the week! That will be a challenge, but I've been successful before, I can stay OP again there!

Deep Thoughts: I know I've said this before on here, but it pays when your bff is a therapist in "real life." I swear she has so much insight and really keeps me grounded. I'm so lucky to call her my bestest friend. Anyway, over lunch I was sharing how I've felt like I've lost focus lately and shared my fears of gaining all my weight back, etc, etc. She pointed out that she's noticed that I've shifted from a "winner" mindset, to a "defeated" mind set. Like, I'm expecting to fail. And it all makes since and really helped me see some things. I made goal, and accomplished my ultimate "thing." And now the "you look great" comments and new clothes are gettting old.... I've lost steam. So now I feel sort of unmotivated and slowly slipped into that "I'm feeling defeated" mentalitiy. I'm thinking like a fat girl. I'm a size 4/6 and yet I feel like a 14/16 again. ANd it really has settled in and set up camp. Monica (my bff) said I need to start thinking like a thin girl again, because that's what I am. I'm a winnner (cheezy I know), I've had great success, I've accomplished a lot. Now I need to believe it. I think deep down inside I always thought I was going to fail. Even when I clearly reached goal. So that was a revelation. I'm going to commit myself to not believe lies. To believing the truth about who I am and how far I've come. I'm thin! I'm really, truly thin. How can a size 16 fake a size 4? But more importantly, I'm a healthy person who has energy to chase my kids, run a half marathon, embrace my life. I never, ever want to lose that.

Here's my tracker:

Mocha: 3 pts

Chicken Taco: 5 pts
Chips: 8 pts
Cheese dip: 4 pts
Guacamoli: 2 pts

22 pts used, 4 pts earned. So 4 pts left for dinner. I can do that... Hell, I've had 1 point left for dinner before and made it work!

Monday, October 15, 2007

I'm feeling the focus return...... (well, at least in the last 12 hours I wrote you) :)

I got up, got the kids fed, clothed, washed and off we went! First stop was Jack's house (Fischer's friend and school mate). I have carpool today- so we picked little Jack up. Dropped the boys off at school and Amelia and I hit Starbucks. I raced to the bank to make a deposit and then we headed over to the YMCA. I was determined to a take a class called "Heat." The name alone scared the hell out of me and I figured- that's bound to earn me some AP's....sign me up! Left Millie in the childcare and off I went! HOLY. COW! Now I go to a Total Body class that I've always called "bootcap" on Tuesday at 4:30p. It's rough, hard, but sooooooo worth it! This HEAT class was like that, but on crack. I was most certainly in bootcamp! First we pushed the bozu's (sp??) around the track with our hands. A bozu is like an exercise ball cut in half and a hard platform is on the bottom. We pushed them and when we came to a corner on the track we had to get down and do pushups. Next lap we had to kick the bozu with with inside of our foot to work the inner thigh. This time we did squats when we got to a corner. That was just a warmup.......

NEXT, we went into the studio to start cardio circuits. There were three rows of circuits. First some was made up of steps (the steps you used in step aerobics), lined up length wise to form a giant line across the studio. We stepped off and on those all the way across the room. Next circuit was the bozu's lined up in the same way to form lily pad like things to jumped across. Third set was a "ladder" that was flat on the ground, followed by stepping blocks that functioned sort of like tires that you jump around in a real bootcamp like setting. We began with a 5 minute cardio circuit. Break. Strenth training- abs. Back to Cardio- this time for 4 mins. Break. Strength- butt. Cardio- 3 mins.....and so on until we only had a 45 sec cardio round. OH and to top it off we got to do a supported squat along the wall for 60 seconds. 60 seconds? Doesn't sound bad until you consider that you're legs are already jello and convulsing....

Tough, TOUGH workout. But I was glad I came. I'm estimating I earned 4 AP's- though maybe more. I'm only using 4. :)

The only "thing" I have that will be sort of a challenge (food wise) is my bi montly Doula Get Together tonight. Good news is that it's soup. So I think I can probably get away with a small soup portion and some bread (one small piece!!!) and stay safely within my points. :)

Here's my tracker so far:

Weight Control Oatmeal: 2 pts
Mocha: 3 pts

Chick fil A Chargrilled chicken sandwich: 5 pts
1/2 of dd's small fries: 4 pts
Large unsweet tea: 0 pts

Mystery soup

AP's earned : 4 pts

Total used so far: 14 pts (minus the 4)

10 pts to work with at dinner. :)

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Man... I cannot keep my focus to save my life! It's been a really distracting week. I decided to try Core again- seemed to overeat (albeit Core foods) and scale didn't move. Then halfway through the week I decide Core doesn't work and move back to Flex. But somewhere in between that I get sidetracked and just start eating whatever, whenever, without much thought. *sigh*

I think the thing is that we eat out and have lots of "events" often. That's just our lifestyle. I made it work with WWs for over a year now. But lately I've gone back to the "Old Jen" mentality of : "well, I can't stay OP today because we have that party, so I'll start tomorrow...." Well, one event after another and I'm up a couple lbs! What is wrong with me? I've got to figure this out. I'm about to go out of town this week to visit my mom and I need to nail down some basic things that will help me NOT to compromise and lose weight. One major thing is that I have to weigh in sometime before October is over and be 142 lbs or under. Right now I think I'm around 146 lbs. :( SO, in order to maintain my lifetime status- I have to get back on the wagon. That's a motivating factor right there. So, here are some goals to achieve in the next two weeks:

1. Stay OP everyday, all day.
2. Write down everything I eat. My WW leader always says: If you bite, you write it!
3. Reserve, RESERVE!!!! my Flex points for just that: flexibility.
4. Earn APs everyday.

I always like to point out the good along with the bad, just to be balanced. The good thing I've been doing is really earning lots of APs lately. I have been going to the YMCA for classes almost everyday. And if I can't get a class in, I run on the treadmill at home. I've done that 7 days in a row! And Friday I ran 5 miles!!! I need to up my mileage in the next two weeks to fully get myself back to my half marathon status. I'm running the half marathon on Oct. 27th!!!!

So, there you have it. I must, must, must find my focus. I will. I'm accountable. I can't forget why I started this- to be a healthy mom to my kids and to live life to the fullest. I do not want to go back to where I was. Help keep me honest! LOL

On that note- I'm going to tell you what I ate today. IT was bad. I totally splurged. We had our family birthday get together (lots of us have Oct birthdays) and I just went to town.

Mocha: 3 pts
Reduced Fat Cinnamon Swirl Coffee Cake: 7 pts

Publix Turkey SUb (no mayo, on wheat): 10 pts (estimate)
Veggies chips : 6 pts (I ate too much)
Carrot Cake: 10 pts

More subs (leftovers): 7 pts
More Cake: 10 pts

Ugh..... at least I came home and ran 3 miles on the treadmill.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Note to self: Chick-fil-A chicken biscuits (with grape jelly) are pretty much irresistable. *sigh*

I feel like the last few weeks have blurred together as one big "half n half." Half on program. Half off. I have excuse after excuse as to why this yields me unable to follow plan, but really it's just excuses, excuses.... I think I'm just tired and I do well all day until I'm finally alone (kids in bed) and then I want to "reward" myself. It starts with a little something like a cocoa via bar. Then I need something savory to go with the sweet....and so on. Night time is a trigger for me for sure.

And I have not been able to run or workout like I usually do, which is depressing. I've been my kid's primary caregiver for a week straight and it's just draining. Thank God things are normalizing and Ed is back in town. I really need to refocus. I do not want to gain my weight back. It's funny because I could gain 2 lbs and be convinced it's all coming back! But like my WW leader says: you got fat from weeks upon months upon years of eating badly. Don't get a two day binge throw you into the depths of despair. Pick yourself up and refocus! :)

I have a wedding to go to today. I'm looking forward to it. It's a friend that I've known since elementary school. Should be fun. :) As far as the "eating" plan. Well, I'm going to allow myself a small plate of food and one slice of cake. Maybe I'll earn some AP's dancing. :P

I'm going to take it easy today on the points an then refocus strongly tomorrow.

Monday I'll go to my meeting- though I won't weigh in for my October weigh in for a couple weeks! I need to regulate my weight!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Okay, been another crazy week. I had two births last week that lasted 24 hours+ each and were only a day apart from each other. I was exhausted and lived on whatever food I could get. Then, Ed went out of town this week and I was solo with the kids. I wasn't able to get in hardly any exercise. I went to the YMCA one day and childcare was full so I couldn't take my Total Body class. :( The lack of exercise has just thrown my "habits" off and I gotta get back into things. I think I'm on track food wise, but I haven't journaled much due to running out the door and flying by the seat of my pants. Even now I'm typing on my lap top on my bed while my kids are jumping around me. It's aready 6pm and I have no idea what dinner holds for us. I badly want to order chinese food, but I know I can come up with something in my frigde that is WW friendly if I tried. I'm just pooped and cooking sounds like running a marathon right now....

Speaking of marathons.... my half marathon is in 3 weeks! Holy @(#*(%*#!!!! I'm getting more and more scared and running less and less. Ack. I've got to get out the door and do some long runs....
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