Monday, October 22, 2007

I do two things when I wake up in the morning. One is go straight to Amelia's room (she's my alarm clock) and pray she hasn't rubbed her shit all over her crib. I say shit because you try calling it "pooo" or another cutsy name after cleaning it up several times a week. It's freaking shit! It looks like shit. Smells like shit. And it's gross as shit to clean up. Let's just embrace the word shit, okay? My daughter has inherited my creative ability to get herself out of any pajama outfit I put her in and open her morning diaper and paint. My mom says I did the same thing. Personally I think as a child I was still grossed out, but perhaps "forged" my way through for the sake of the art. Amelia: she thoroughly enjoys it. So, anyway, that's the first thing I do. Never boring here at the Gordon's.

Second thing I do is go to I'm obsessed. If I'm home, I check it every hour, on the hour. I love the pictures. I follow their "people tracks" like a dog follows fresh meat. Seriously. I'm even willing to say I'm more obsessed with than mochas! *gasp*

Why do I tell you this? Well, because it's a habit. It's a habit ingrained into me. I do it automatically, without thinking. Seriously- do you think I'd clean up shit everymorning if I "thought" about it? No. But my point is that habits stick. They do. Now technically if you do something for 3 weeks straight, it will become a habit. I've seen that happen for me with exercise. I love it. I miss it when I can't do it. It's just a part of my life. Now, in the past, staying OP has been a major habit. It stuck like glue. Now staying OP is like putting two wrong side of a magnet together. And I even react like I would if I were trying stick two wrong sides of a magnet together. I smile, wondering why it's not working and then throw in the towel. But you say: "Jen, we've been reading your blog and you did great out of town!." Um, yeah, you could say that. Up until the last day (or as I like to call it: "cope day.") This is the day that all the stress of being surrounded by food and family gets to me and I cave and start mimicing what I see and eat everything in sight. And then some. Did I post about that? No. Should I? Yes. Going to my mom's is like sending an alcoholic to a bar. Food is the entertainment, the comfort, the solution, the end all. Monica said my visit was successful simply since I waited to cave until the last day.

Anyway- that's my confession. My solution is to make staying OP a habit again. I notice that if I stay OP a whole day, the next day is easier. SO that's what I'm doing. :) And when better to start the week of my birthday? Ha! I've got little birthday gatherings sprinkled throughout the week- so this will be fun. (Not funny "ha ha", but funny "oh shit!") Geez..I'm really loving shit these days...

Anyhoo, today is going A OK so far. Got up and dressed with my offsring in tow. Carpool day. Dropped the boys off at school, went to Starbucks- got the wrong drink! They gave me a regular mocha instead of a non fat, no whip. So that's more points that I wanted! I drank it anyway because I was late and need the caffiene. Headed to my "Heat" class at the YMCA. My friend Candace met me there. 15 mins through and we both gave the knowing look to eachother: "Yes, I think I'm going to hurl and then have cardiac arrest. Just so you know." But, nonetheless, we made it through the class (aka BOOTCAMP). Earned 4 APs.

Here's my tracker:

WW oatmeal: 2 pts
mocha: 5 friggin pts
apple: 1 pt

Chick fil A Chargrilled chicken sand: 5pts

WW keylime pie yogurt: 1 pt
1/2 cup All Bran: 0 pt
2 tbsp ff cool whip: 1 pt
grapes: 1 pt

Dinner :
Veggie chili (aka: Pot of cans! - canned sugar free bakes beans, lite and dark kindey beans, diced tomatos, tomato sauce. Then zucchini, onion and carrots. ): 4 pts
Crackle flatbread: 4 pts

Total: 24 pts
AP's earned: 4 pts

Right on track!

Update: I went to the WW meeting tonight. Good for me. :) Though it was funny because two ladies got into it a bit over whether muscle weighs more than fat. Um.....a lb of muscle is the same as a lb of fat! A pound is a pound dudes. It was kinds amusing watching them go back and forth over it. Clearly one girl did not "get" it. "But when I work out I gain weight!" Well, honey, that's because you're eating a piece of cake that's 15 points after you'd only earned 2 pt walking 30 mins. Sorry. I'm convinced that's why people end up gaining when they workout.

Anyway, got my mojo back and feel good. Track, track, track. My mini goal is to not use my 35 Flex until Saturday (my birthday party). Wooohooo!


Candace Smartt said...

Awesome Jen! Funny -- I just boiught all the ingrediants today for teh "pot of canned goods" -- I love it when it starts to get cold and I can make this...I put the meat sbnstitute (morningstar farms crumbles) in it to add to the protein -
Anywhoo -- se eyou tomorrow at Total Body.
Hey...thanks for being my wheelbarrel partner today - feel like I got to know you on an entirely diefferent level!

jencarr said...

What is it about having kids that makes you cuss more than you did before? At least, that's how it is in my house. I'm totally embracing the shit word these days. BTW...I'm told I did the same thing as Amelia a few times when I was a baby. Yeah, not too proud of that either.
I love checking in on you via the blog!

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