Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Down .8 lbs!!! Not too bad considering it was the week of Thanksgiving and I know I splurged over my points. I keep telling myself: just think how many pounds I would have gained if I had eaten the way I normally did the past Holidays. So I'm pretty happy with that. It was nice because most of my extended family hasn't seen me since I was 9 months pregnant or just immediately post partum so they were all really shocked by how thin I was. It was nice and motivating to keep this journey on the right path. My aunt just kept looking at me and saying she wants to be "skinny" like me. That felt good. I can't remember the last time I felt "skinny." I just told her: "Join Weight Watchers and don't stop!"

I have been very busy here in the post Thanksgiving days taking care of my sick babies (Ed included). We all have colds and my little baby girl has RSV so I'm having to give her inhaler treatments 4 times a day to help her breath better. Poor thing. We're both not sleeping at night. She wakes up unable to breath well and I have to get the inhaler out and then nurse her. It becomes a 1 hour ordeal. Ugh. But luckily I've been able to get up in the morning and start the day with some energy. God's grace I suppose...

I'm still trying to figure out how many points I should be eating. I've currently been on 28 pts a day but because Amelia is nursing less and eating more solids, I'm wondering if my weightloss is slowing because I'm overestimating how much she's actually eating from me. So I may experiment on 26 pts a day. If I get hungry, I'll adjust and eat. I'd really like to see some substantial loss this month. Especially with Christmas coming. After Christmas I'll breath easier and then it's the countdown to my 10 yr high school reunion in April!!! Can't wait!!

Well, I'm teetering on the 150 mark. I can't wait to see the 140's. I think my official weigh in was 151.2 lbs on Monday. Oh man, I really want to see the 140's next Monday....

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Updated pics!!

I used to hate this pic, but now I love it because it really shows how much I've lost!

184 lbs

150 lbs
THANKSGIVING!!!! Well, I did good. By good, I mean I didn't binge on Thanksgiving day. Instead I over ate the day AFTER Thanksgiving! Right when I let my guard down, a hot dog bit me in the ass! :) We went to Knoxville, TN to get together with my mom's family and I did so well the first two days. Then the last day (we decided to stay one more night on a total whim) we went to this Christmas tree festival downtown. We walked, and walked, and walked (I had Amelia in a sling) and then we were all hungry. The ONLY food option was a hotdog. That was it! It was weird. So I ate one. Then we got home and I just went semi-nuts and ate another plate of Thanksgiving leftovers!!??? I was NOT hungry and yet everyone else came home and started filling their plates so I just followed. Immediately after I finished it I had that icky feeling and got really mad at myself. I stuffed myself to the point of wanting to sleep. So I did. I just wanted tomorrow to come so I could start over.

So I wake up this morning (still in Knoxville) after a long night of my baby coughing and running a fever. None of us slept. I just can't sleep when one of my kids are sick. I ended up nursing her almost all night to comfort her. Poor thing. But- as I was so tired and hanging on by a thread I thought to myself: "Hey, maybe all the calories I'm burning breastfeeding my sick baby will help with the damage I did overeating last night." I'm so vain... So I reluctantly wake up and head upstairs to start loading the car. I walk up from the basement, open the door and there it is. I big box of fresh donuts. DAMN IT!!!!! It's like Satan is setting boobie traps for me left and right. :) So, I grab one in a frazzled, sleepy state and down it. We finally got our car loaded with everything and I had a chance to look up the points. For a chocolate cake glazed donut it's 7pts!!! Pisser! So I logged it in my food diary and went on. So far I've stayed OP all day. It's 4:30pm and I have 6 pts left and I'm not even hungry. I'm craving sleep more than chocolate at this point in the day.

My husband is so sweet. My little sick one has been sleeping the last 2 hours and even though Ed is dead tired, he took Fischer to the park. AND he offered to bring me back a mocha when he comes home! He knows the way to my heart. Just thought I'd share.

Well, today is Saturday. Tomorrow is Sunday and the next day is Monday: weigh in day. My goal is to stay OP the next 48 hours (and beyond) and maybe see a loss. But I know there's a possibility I won't lose due to my mishap, so I'm just going to set a goal to make it to the meeting and stay positive. I have a whole month before Christmas to lose some more. Then once Christmas is over I'll rest a little easier! :) My ultimate goal is 135. I'm 150-152lbs right now..... It's getting close!

I tried to attach a recent pic, but I got a new computer and my iphoto isn't working properly. Ed is going to fix it soon and I'll be sure to post one! I need to wear my new size 6's!!!!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Oh. My. God. I had some gift certificates to use from my birthday last month and I finally had the time to go use them. I went into the Gap and looked at the jeans. I used to wear Gap Long and Lean jeans in a size 14 back in the day. Well, I decided to try on some. I grabbed an 8 and walked around looking some more. Then, randomly, I went back and traded the 8's for a 6. I went into the dressing room and guess what????? They fit! And they really even THAT tight. I cannot believe it! I'm so happy. A size 6 jeans!!!! I can hardly believe it. I'm so glad I've been so faithful to this eating plan. It is really paying off! :)

Just had to share.


Weigh in is in 2 days. I'll post results then!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Proof there is a God! As you can read in my last few posts I've been really discouraged and was on a plateau. Not having any significant losses and even having small gains. This whole past week has been awful. I've been so bloated, which has made my jeans feel tight and I've been retaining water like a mad woman. My scale has been all over the place. 153 one day and then 159 the next! I was really upset.

Then I get to my meeting this morning and totally prep the receptionist who weighed me.

Me: "I've had a really bad few weeks. I'm totally expecting a gain"
Receptionists: "Well, step on and let's see."
Me: (taking shoes and jacket off) "I'm even expecting my "lady friend" this month so I'm really bloated" (why did I share that? I have NO idea. I'm a dork)
Receptionist: *awkward smile*

I step on

Receptionists: "Wow- you did great!" *hands me back my weigh in record*

3.4 lbs gone! WHAT????!!!! How is that possible? I was so thrilled. I needed this so badly. I was really feeling a bit helpless.

Last night as I went to bed I talked to God a little. I shared my heart on how yucky I've been feeling. It's been sorta like a dream come true to lose this much weight and I was so sure I would get to goal. Then I stopped believing that in the last few weeks and resorted to some old thought patterns. I just told God that if there was anyway He could help me have just a little loss- I'd be so grateful. Then I just felt ridiculous praying about it in the first place. Ya know, since weight loss is such a pressing matter! Well, not only did I have a small loss. I had the biggest loss I've had so far this whole weight loss journey! So, there you have it, God answers prayers! Even if they're vain and stupid.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Something is just off. Every day this week I've crept up on the scale. I weighed myself tonight and I'm 159!!!! What??? I'm really starting to panic a bit. Up until now I've lost easily as long as I stayed on plan. But then things have just seemed to get a little screwy in the last 2 weeks. I know I went on vacation and that was a challenge- but I thought I handled it well. Then I get back into my routine at home and the numbers are going up. So I spoke with an online friend who is doing WW and breastfeeding and she thinks I'm eating too many nursing points- which would explain my why my weight loss has slowed down. So I altered that and here I am still creeping up on the scale. I'm due for my period any day now. It's my second cycle since having Amelia. So it's a little wacky. I'm late according to my calendar but I know that doesn't mean a whole lot since cycles can vary after they start back up after birth. Part of me is slightly paranoid I'm pregnant. Although I show no symptoms of that other than my period being late. Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was on such a roll and now I feel so emotional. Like the motivation is being drained out of me. And with the Holidays ahead of me- I feel like I'm not going to see a big loss until January! :(

An example of my lack of motivation was last night. Ed and I went on a date to see the Atlanta Thrashers play. I went there with 2 pts left for the day. My plan was to get a small latte (2 pts). Not only did I get a latte, but I also got a cinnamon pretzel (the big, hot, buttery kind), and 2 beers! I don't know what got into me. It's like I just went nuts. I know that there will be times that I'll go over in points- but it's been so long since then that I feel like I've broken my magic pattern. It's so hard for me, personaitly wise, to not throw the baby out with the bath water. I'm an all or nothing kinda chick. It takes a lot of me to brush myself off and walk on. But I know that's exactly what I have to do to be successful.

I felt compeled the last few days to blog here. Mainly because I need to procees my feelings and also be accountable to friends. No journey comes without bumps in the road. Just because I hit a bump doesn't mean I turn around and go back. I need to keep going. Being honest with myself is a huge part of how I've come this far. So being honest is what is eventually going to get me to goal. Now if all that "pep talk" will translate into my daily eating habits, I'll be fine! :)

One thing I need to let go of is the dead line I set in my head. Because I lost so steadily in the last 5 months, I had calculated that I would be at goal by Thanksgiving. Well that isn't going to happen. Not unless I lose 24 lbs in a week. So, I'm officially taking the pressure off and allowing myself to lose how ever slowly or quickly I lose. I think a healthy time line would be to get to goal by Amelia's 1st birthday in April. That allows me plenty of time. That also happens to be the same month as my 10 year high school reunion- so that's cool.

Well, there you have it. I feel better now that I got that all out. I really hope this "funk" passes. I have weigh in on Monday. I usually really look forward to weigh in day but not this week. Nonetheless, I'm going. I need to be at a meeting and absorb everything. I know I'll have a gain.

I'll post weigh in results Monday.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Victory! I weighed in yesterday and I had a .4 gain. I count that as a victory because I know I was not as good as I should have been at the beach. Considering I ate doritos, fried stuff, beer, wine, and lots of snacks! I was actually worried I would have gained 2 lbs or something. But, I'm back in Atlanta and back to my routine. I went to the grocery store and bought a TON of food. I really want to eat at home as much as possible to avoid added sodium and junk. They opened a new Super Wal-Mart near me (apparently the first ever urban wal-mart) and they carry this great peanut butter called Naturally More. It's all natural and has flaxseeds in it. It's only 3 pts for 2 tbsps. Considering regular peanut butter is 5 pts per serving, I'm glad to have the option. I actually like the crunch the flaxseeds give. I put some on a rice cake for a good 4 pt breakfast. The protein in the peanut butter keeps me full too. I'm trying to branch out and look for new things to eat to change it up a bit.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Phew! I went out of town for 7 days to beautiful St. George island in Florida and I actually maintained my weight!!! I had a few questionable moments while there. Hushpuppies, fried shrimp, french fries....just to name a few. I tried to counteract that with long walks on the beach with Amelia in the sling. My goal was to maintain and according to my home scale I did. I'll weigh in Monday and give an official update then. I think I'm due for my "lady business" soon- so I've been slightly bloated and craving sugar. :) I'm gonna focus on drinking a ton of water between now and weigh in. I think I've overdosed on high sodium foods which leads to major water retention. Hopefully I'll flush some stuff out!!

Going grocery shopping tomorrow. Stocking up on some fruits and veggies. I feel a bit out of my element lately. The last few weeks have been filled with birthday parties, vacations and just plain bad food choices. With the holidays ahead of me, I need to get back into a healthy routine. I'm gonna try some new recipes and change things up a bit. I'd love to be in the 140's by Thanksgiving. And maybe, just maybe be at goal for Christmas. What an amazing gift that would be!!! Think I could do it??
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