Mama Rocks

Something is just off. Every day this week I've crept up on the scale. I weighed myself tonight and I'm 159!!!! What??? I'm really starting to panic a bit. Up until now I've lost easily as long as I stayed on plan. But then things have just seemed to get a little screwy in the last 2 weeks. I know I went on vacation and that was a challenge- but I thought I handled it well. Then I get back into my routine at home and the numbers are going up. So I spoke with an online friend who is doing WW and breastfeeding and she thinks I'm eating too many nursing points- which would explain my why my weight loss has slowed down. So I altered that and here I am still creeping up on the scale. I'm due for my period any day now. It's my second cycle since having Amelia. So it's a little wacky. I'm late according to my calendar but I know that doesn't mean a whole lot since cycles can vary after they start back up after birth. Part of me is slightly paranoid I'm pregnant. Although I show no symptoms of that other than my period being late. Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was on such a roll and now I feel so emotional. Like the motivation is being drained out of me. And with the Holidays ahead of me- I feel like I'm not going to see a big loss until January! :(

An example of my lack of motivation was last night. Ed and I went on a date to see the Atlanta Thrashers play. I went there with 2 pts left for the day. My plan was to get a small latte (2 pts). Not only did I get a latte, but I also got a cinnamon pretzel (the big, hot, buttery kind), and 2 beers! I don't know what got into me. It's like I just went nuts. I know that there will be times that I'll go over in points- but it's been so long since then that I feel like I've broken my magic pattern. It's so hard for me, personaitly wise, to not throw the baby out with the bath water. I'm an all or nothing kinda chick. It takes a lot of me to brush myself off and walk on. But I know that's exactly what I have to do to be successful.

I felt compeled the last few days to blog here. Mainly because I need to procees my feelings and also be accountable to friends. No journey comes without bumps in the road. Just because I hit a bump doesn't mean I turn around and go back. I need to keep going. Being honest with myself is a huge part of how I've come this far. So being honest is what is eventually going to get me to goal. Now if all that "pep talk" will translate into my daily eating habits, I'll be fine! :)

One thing I need to let go of is the dead line I set in my head. Because I lost so steadily in the last 5 months, I had calculated that I would be at goal by Thanksgiving. Well that isn't going to happen. Not unless I lose 24 lbs in a week. So, I'm officially taking the pressure off and allowing myself to lose how ever slowly or quickly I lose. I think a healthy time line would be to get to goal by Amelia's 1st birthday in April. That allows me plenty of time. That also happens to be the same month as my 10 year high school reunion- so that's cool.

Well, there you have it. I feel better now that I got that all out. I really hope this "funk" passes. I have weigh in on Monday. I usually really look forward to weigh in day but not this week. Nonetheless, I'm going. I need to be at a meeting and absorb everything. I know I'll have a gain.

I'll post weigh in results Monday.