Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Okay- I didn't exactly stick according to plan last night at my doula get together. Wine was there. I'm a sucker for red wine and chatty women. :) I had 3, yes three, glasses. Why? I don't know, it was just fine. We sat around for a long, long time talking and I had two large glasses (of which I'm counting it as three). Other than that- I stuck to my plan. Small portion of soup and bread. OH, and instead of eating the dessert- I had 3 small pieces of chocolate that someone brought. It was in tiny, shaven pieces, so it wasn't much. :) But I'm afraid I have to use some of my flexies for that night.

Today I woke up after a long night of both kids waking up randomly. I was exhausted, but had a postpartum visit with a client, so I needed to hit the ground running. I swung (is that a word?) by Starbucks, got my mocha and head out. Forgot breakfast (bad girl). Then I met my best friend for our weekly Tuesday lunch at Taqueria (www.taqueriadelsol.com) for some chips and tacos. I overrate on the chips and I knew exactly why- I was famished from no breakfast.

Good news is that I'm going to earn 4 APs at my Total Body class today. So I'm right on track.

I'll probably have a Progresso soup for dinner tonight. I have to pack for me and the kids. We're flying out to my mom's for the rest of the week! That will be a challenge, but I've been successful before, I can stay OP again there!

Deep Thoughts: I know I've said this before on here, but it pays when your bff is a therapist in "real life." I swear she has so much insight and really keeps me grounded. I'm so lucky to call her my bestest friend. Anyway, over lunch I was sharing how I've felt like I've lost focus lately and shared my fears of gaining all my weight back, etc, etc. She pointed out that she's noticed that I've shifted from a "winner" mindset, to a "defeated" mind set. Like, I'm expecting to fail. And it all makes since and really helped me see some things. I made goal, and accomplished my ultimate "thing." And now the "you look great" comments and new clothes are gettting old.... I've lost steam. So now I feel sort of unmotivated and slowly slipped into that "I'm feeling defeated" mentalitiy. I'm thinking like a fat girl. I'm a size 4/6 and yet I feel like a 14/16 again. ANd it really has settled in and set up camp. Monica (my bff) said I need to start thinking like a thin girl again, because that's what I am. I'm a winnner (cheezy I know), I've had great success, I've accomplished a lot. Now I need to believe it. I think deep down inside I always thought I was going to fail. Even when I clearly reached goal. So that was a revelation. I'm going to commit myself to not believe lies. To believing the truth about who I am and how far I've come. I'm thin! I'm really, truly thin. How can a size 16 fake a size 4? But more importantly, I'm a healthy person who has energy to chase my kids, run a half marathon, embrace my life. I never, ever want to lose that.

Here's my tracker:

Mocha: 3 pts

Chicken Taco: 5 pts
Chips: 8 pts
Cheese dip: 4 pts
Guacamoli: 2 pts

22 pts used, 4 pts earned. So 4 pts left for dinner. I can do that... Hell, I've had 1 point left for dinner before and made it work!

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