Camping in the City

We Gordon's are not known for our communion with nature.  Well, of all Gordons I think Millie and I are the most "okay" with being outdoors.  So long as I don't have to wear makeup.  There's nothing worse that being outdoors in the heat and humidity while your concealer is dripping down your face.  But if given to our lazy tendencies- we basically like AC and bugless TV watching.  But we realize that's not very good for the human spirit in high doses.  And so we try...

And by "trying" I mean I built a fire the other night.  In, like, 80 degree weather that feels like 90.  But the kids and I were all into it, so I thought I could score some Nature Points.  

Millie made a dumb bell out of a wood kabab thingy and marshmellows.   Fischer and his bff Finn  helped me build the tee pee fire.  Shepherd was asleep cause that's what he does best after 7pm.

God it was hot...

Then Amelia (in bikini just because) went into her fire trance.  Seriously, the girl loves staring at fires. 

And so here's what I'm learning:  Kids like it when you go "off schedule" sometimes.  Kids need you to have fun sometimes.  Bed times can be pushed back sometimes.  Because life is what you make it.  What you do day in day out is what you're doing with your life.  And that can be very eye opening.  At least for me.  If what I want to do with my life involves having a clean house- then I can spend my days cleaning.  If what I want to do with my life involves making memories with my family.  Then something else has got to give.  I can't have it all.  But, really, do I want it all?  No.  I'll take Ed and the kids over mopped floors. 

I lay awake at night sometimes and feel overwhelmed with it all.  The good and the bad.  I worry so much about what could happen.  And then I forget all I've not let happen in the name of routine and habit and laziness. This summer we will build fires in 90 degree weather.  We will build forts- even though it will make my sheets dirty.  We will stay up past our bedtime so we can eat popcorn or go swimming.  We will have icecream for dinner.  We will let the crumbs be on the floor and not give a damn.  We will go to bed with dishes in the sink.  We will be alive.  Cause you know the saying about how tomorrow is never promised.  Well, it's true.  Live in the moment today.  God it feels good.  I don't have to fit into a box and neither does my family.  What a fucking relief.  

So if you come over to my house one day and they're crushed cheerios on my floor, dishes in my sink, toys strewn all over the house and even a baby crying at my feet- don't pity me.  It's all good.  It's life.  Things have a way of being taken care of if you're patient enough to wait.  

On the "I'm not dieting" front?  I'm doing well!  Food is less and less on my mind.  I'm still learning my "full signal."  My body is full, but my tongue wants more.  But it's a practice.  And with any sort of practice- you have to work at it to perfect it.  The cool thing is that I purged all my diet cookbooks.  And I've been having fun cooking.  :)