To follow up on my weird day... I got on the scale this morning and it said 163.7 lbs. That's 5 lbs lost in 2 days! My body must have been retaining water or something. But- I feel MUCH better. One thing I did the last two days was really up my fruit intake and up my water. I think that helped get me back to where I was. I know this is TMI, but I think I lacked some fiber in my diet (if you know what I mean). Fiber is a girl's best friend.

Last night I went out to dinner with my friend Monica. We went to the Spotted Dog on North Ave- VERY GOOD! I had 2 glasses of wine and a chicken ceasar salad (dressing on the side). It was very yummy and I stuck to my points! Anyway- I had just done a load of laundry and washed all my jeans earlier in the day before I went. We all know what jeans do in the dryer. They shrink a size! I knew this before putting them on. I thought: I'm gonna have to do a lot of squats to make them wearable before I go out. Well guess what? I put them on and they fit without multiple squats! I know that's a small thing- but it's also a big thing to me. One step closer to a size 8.....

We leave for our trip to the Caribbean on Tuesday! I cannot wait! I'm a little nervous about my eating habits while there. I've never really been able to maintain a diet of any sort while vacationing, so this will be a new milestone for me. But it's a reality of life, so I need to learn how to do it without blowing it! I had a talk with Ed about it and he's agreed to keep me accountable. My goals are to try and stick to fruit in the mornings (those 5 star resort breakfasts are lethal!!) and something lite at lunch. That way I can spend my points on dinner and drinks in the evening. I can't wait for the kids to see the beach and play in the water. I'll have to post pics. Fischer is beside himself. He's anxious to see JuJu (my mom) and Doo Da (my step dad). And then we're going to surprise him with a plane ride AND the beach! Phew!

I weigh in tomorrow night (monday). I'll post the results.

So I'm having a weird day. I got on the scale this morning and it said 167. That really bummed me out because I was 165 at my meeting on Monday (5 days ago). I've stayed within my point range so I'm kinda upset that I've appeared to gain. Now, granted, I never count my weight officially until weigh in- so I'm not "counting" it yet- but still bummed. The only thing I can think of is that I saved my Weekly Allowance points to "blow" on a BLT sandwich and french fries at OK Cafe. That was last night. Maybe it just hit me wrong.

Anyway, those two pounds sent me back into my old thinking. I looked the mirror and felt "fatter." Even though I'm comfortably wearing jeans that were way too tight a month ago, I seemed to look bigger. I know it's all in my head. I think I'm just having some momentary motivation loss. I haven't gone over my points, just seem to be reaching for easy foods instead of what's nutritious. I know I haven't been drinking enough water. I've had a very busy, exhausting week. Me and the kids have sinus colds, aren't sleeping well and just grumpy. So maybe that's it. I dunno. I just need to get it out on this blog. If I keep it in my head- I'm liable to get too down and then binge. And I refuse to go back to that place. One thing I'm learning is that this journey does not come without your normal stumbling blocks. It's just a matter of how you handle them. So- I want to handle this differently and talk about it -rather than pretend everything is going great- ya know? Before I probably would have said: " I need a break. I'll just eat what I want this weekend and then start back Monday." Monday would turn into Tuesday. Tuesday would blend into another week. And so on. That way doesn't work. As much as I'd rationalize it. So- it's plan A, A, A. Stick to the original plan and never give up.

I will do this!

I made my 10% goal! I've lost 10% of my body weight since joining back meetings at 184 lbs. 19 lbs down in 2 months! (61 total). I was so excited to get my 10% keychain last night at my meeting. My leader made me stand up front and talk about what has made this journey so far successful. I basically just said sticking to the plan (never cheating essentially) and coming to meetings is the biggest thing. Before when I did WW- I never went to meetings. I see now how that worked against me. Those meetings are an absolute priority for me now. It's what keeps me going. I love weighing in and seeing the results. It's also motivating to see other's have success and we share our secrets (staying on plan-LOL). I proudly put my 10% keychain on my keys last night. I love those cheesy rewards! I weighed in at exactly 165 lbs even. At the rate I'm going- I could see my ultimate goal come Thanksgiving. 135 lbs! I can't wait. I'm very much enjoying wearing my size 10 jeans. They feel good and fit comfortably (no muffin top). LOL

I'm learning more and more now how it's important to reward yourself with other things than food. My whole life I've thought food was the ultimate reward. Now I'm seeing things differently. I've always celebrated birthdays and other occassions with eating. Eating A LOT! To the point of getting sick even. And that habit pretty much cornered me into not enjoying other things like shopping. Mainly because I hated buying bigger clothes. I hated the way I looked. I hate pictures of myself, therefore I never took any. Like I said before- I lived life under the radar. Not really participating because I just felt icky. I just didn't feel like I was "me." That's why now I'm really making this lifestyle change. I want it to stick. This has become a MAJOR priority.

If I want to reward myself now- I'll go walking alone. Or I'll go get a coffee. Or I'll get a pedicure. There are so many things I can do besides hit the frig. It's truly revelutionary to me. If it's 7pm and I have zero points left and no weekly allowance points left- I get creative. Sometimes that means I reward myself with sleep and I go to bed! lol Sometimes I'll take a bath. Whetever it is I DON'T EAT. It's hard. It's a true test of self discipline.

My next goal is to weigh in at 155 by Sept 31st. I'm gonna do it!

My new long term goal is to be 125 lbs at my 10 year High School Reunion in April 2007. (Am I that old?)

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be. "

Whoo hooo! Down another 2.2 lbs at weigh in! I was a little taken though because my home scale said I was 167.9 that morning and WW scale said 168.5 at meeting. Oh well. I'm getting picky because 166 lbs is my 10% target and I want that damn charm! LOL My goal was to reach 166 by August 31st and I'm pretty sure I'll meet that.

Things are going well. Fischer started a day camp at YMCA all this week and then he starts preschool next week for 3days/week. My baby is growing up!! He's in a tough stage lately. He's really resisting sleep which is new for him. That alone is causing some "stress eating" signals to come up in me. I've really had to reign myself in and stay out of the kitchen. It's worked only by the grace of GOD! Amelia is a sweetheart as always. Her smile alone can keep me going for days. Did I mention how much I love my kids?? They are awesome. I thank God for them everyday. Sure, they have their dramatic days but it's not their fault- they got that pesky gene from their mama.

Not much else going on- just stiking to plan and eating well. Really trying to be aware of my water intake. For weight loss and breastfeeding. When I get low on water- I can see a difference in my milk supply. So I need to stay on that! I feel really good. I can't believe Amelia is only 4 months and I'm already back in pre-pregnancy jeans. It's surreal. It took me 1.5yrs at least to get there after Fischer. I can't wait for Fall. My birthday in is October and I'm asking for gift cards to shop!!! I want some new SMALLER clothes!!!

Ok- here is me in the 10 jeans!!!



And here's a comparison shot from when I first started bloggin.
184lbs168 lbs


I'm on my way to those 6's!

Down another 1.4 lbs! This is so silly but I was actually slightly disappointed. I've had at least a 2 lbs loss each week so I was kinda bummed to only lose 1.4lbs. I know, I know- it's a great loss. I'm just a dork.

I'm 169.8!!! HELLO 160's!!!!!!! I also have a NSV (non-scale victory). I got out my pre-preg jeans (size 10) today to just see how close I am to being back in them. I held them up and thought: "there is no way my ass if fitting in those!" But I tried anyway. Got one leg in, other leg in, button and ZIP! They fit! They're tight as hell and I'm sporting a "muffin top"- but they're on! I'm totally going to wear them today. They're the type of jeans that loosen up as you wear them. We'll see...but I'm sooooooo excited I'm in them!

All is good. Meeting went well last night. The more time passes- the more I'm confident that this weight loss will stick. The plan is getting easier to follow. It's all becoming a habit rather than a "diet" I'm on. It's becoming a lifestyle. Also- I jogged 2 miles the other day! I don't know what came over me but I went to a local park to walk (without the kids) one evening and I just started jogging and didn't stop! It felt so good. I felt like an athlete again (LOL). I used to be so active in high school- I loved physial challenges and was really competitive. I feel that part of me waking up again- it's nice. I've missed "me."

Oh my God! I got on the scale this morning and it said I was 169.8. I haven't seen the 160's since I got pregnant with Amelia. I won't officially count that as my weight though until my weigh in on Monday at my meeting. If I come in at 169 there- that means I'll be 3 lbs from reaching my next goal: 10% of my body weight when I started meetings at 184 lbs. I'm so excited!

One thing I'm dreading (but also looking forward to) is a trip we're taking with my mom and step dad at the end of this month. We're going to a 5 star resort in St. Kitz. It's gonna be tropical and all our food will be comped (EEEEEEK!). My mom is a casino junket so we're all going for free and she will comp all our food. This means lots of date nights for me and Ed and lots of challenges in the food arena. I'm determined to stay OP. Every time I've gone to visit my mom in the past- I cave and blow my diet. She always takes me out to eat and prepares yummy meals- but they are all high in fat and not very diet friendly. This time I need to change my behavior and not overindulge. I told Ed about it and how I'm nervous I'll have a set back and he's going to keep me accountable. Luckily the trip spans over a Monday- so I can use my weekly allowance points twice.