Friday, August 25, 2006

So I'm having a weird day. I got on the scale this morning and it said 167. That really bummed me out because I was 165 at my meeting on Monday (5 days ago). I've stayed within my point range so I'm kinda upset that I've appeared to gain. Now, granted, I never count my weight officially until weigh in- so I'm not "counting" it yet- but still bummed. The only thing I can think of is that I saved my Weekly Allowance points to "blow" on a BLT sandwich and french fries at OK Cafe. That was last night. Maybe it just hit me wrong.

Anyway, those two pounds sent me back into my old thinking. I looked the mirror and felt "fatter." Even though I'm comfortably wearing jeans that were way too tight a month ago, I seemed to look bigger. I know it's all in my head. I think I'm just having some momentary motivation loss. I haven't gone over my points, just seem to be reaching for easy foods instead of what's nutritious. I know I haven't been drinking enough water. I've had a very busy, exhausting week. Me and the kids have sinus colds, aren't sleeping well and just grumpy. So maybe that's it. I dunno. I just need to get it out on this blog. If I keep it in my head- I'm liable to get too down and then binge. And I refuse to go back to that place. One thing I'm learning is that this journey does not come without your normal stumbling blocks. It's just a matter of how you handle them. So- I want to handle this differently and talk about it -rather than pretend everything is going great- ya know? Before I probably would have said: " I need a break. I'll just eat what I want this weekend and then start back Monday." Monday would turn into Tuesday. Tuesday would blend into another week. And so on. That way doesn't work. As much as I'd rationalize it. So- it's plan A, A, A. Stick to the original plan and never give up.

I will do this!

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