Been a while! Well, I've had a weird week. One half of the week I was evil and bad. The other half I managed to reign myself in and stay OP! Unfortunately the scale is still showing my evil ways. This morning I was 141.5. Then (which I shouldn't have done), I weighed myself after breakfast and it said 144lbs! What the?! It scared me to pieces.

I think that's the hardest thing about this whole weight loss thing. I see the numder: 144 and think: "That's just 6 lbs from 150lsb!" Then I freak. I get depressed and I fall off program out of pure frustration. Which is silly. I seriously get a panic feeling when I mess up and see it on the scale. And the truth is I have messed up a lot lately. But I got my mojo back the last 3 days and feel good. I had a set back last night and had some cheese dip with bread- but I planned for it and I think I traded points equally. And I'm exercising every day. So hopefully I'll be back to my old 138 lbs self in a week's time. :)

Here's my tracker:

Special K Bar=2 pts
Mocha= 3pts

Turkey sandwich= 5 pts
WW pretzel thins= 2 pts

bag of ff popcorn = 4 pts ( I thought it was 1 pt and was very sad when I realized I devoured 4 pts)

soup with flatout pizza (the plan)=4 pts

3 pt snack

24 pts total

3 AP's= plan to run 3 miles this evening

Well, I was only up 1.2 lbs! I was shocked. I really, really did think that I gained 3 lbs at least. Phew!

Yesterday was a good food day. I stayed on Core, used 6 of my flexies for bread sticks with my salad. Then we went to the park in the afternoon and Ed played with the kids while I ran 4 miles. I just felt better. It's amazing what one good day will do for you.

My only food challange this week will be eating Mexican food on Thursday for a friend's birthday. Chips and salsa are my downfall, so I'll need to really save flex points for that, but also refraind from gorging myself.

I'll post tracker later!

I've been in denial.

So ever since the beach I've been on this "everthing I eat turns to air" kick. I ate so horribly and then got home and didn't appear to have gained. So, in my head I felt like I didn't have to be as on top of things. Well, now my beach trip is coming back to haunt me and this past week is raging against me. Ugh. I feel like a bloated cow. It doesn't help that I got my period (that's for all you guys that read my blog). I've just thrown in the towel this week. And as bad as I feel and as unmotivated as I am, I know the key is to talk it out and move forward. This is all part of the process. Yada, yada, yada.

So..as much as I want to avoid weigh in tomorrow (I'm probably up 3 lbs....seriously), I'm going to go. *sigh*

I'm back on Core. I think I did better on that plan and I think when I said I wanted to switch back to Flex, I was really just wanting to eat crap. I pretty much feed my kids Core all day- might as well eat along with them.

It's interesting what your head can do. If you're in a bad frame of mind, you're screwed! And you know what's the worst? All the crap food I've eaten in the last 2 weeks wasn't even worth it. At all. Today I felt so discouraged that I bought a candy bar with the intention of eating the whole thing. I haven't done that in a year probably. It's a hording mentality. And I keep doing that thing I did in the past with diets: "I'll start back tomorrow." I should know by now that is not the way to do this. That mentality does not work. IT DOES NOT WORK! It's funny what lies you'll believe to get what you want in the moment. :)

Good news is that I'm still running. I hit my goal this week. Ran at least 3 days. Next week is the same thing. I love this weather. It's so peaceful to run.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to choose to stop my bad eating habits. It's never too late to stop. And it's also a joy to eat well. I really do enjoy it and I know my body thanks me. So, with that, I bid farewel!! LOL I"ll post weigh in tomorrow.

I weighed in!! I'm happy to report it came to 139.2lbs! So I had not gained 10 lbs while on vacation last week?!! Yeah! Now, if I can just get under the .2 lbs so that I can have an official celebration of goal at my meeting.

Been doing well the past few days. Doing flex again and my oh my how I miss my WW chocolate muffins! LOVE them! I bought two boxes of them at Wal Mart. There's just something about waking up in the morning and having my muffin and coffee together. Ahhhhhh.... I've focused on getting in lots of water and making healthy choices. So far, so good.

I've decided to set a sort of running schedule to keep myself going and being consistent. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I run. Sundays will be my long run days. The "off" days will be optional. I can run, walk, do yoga or strength training. The key is to stay active. I really want to focus on strengthening my running muscles. It was no fun that week I injured my knee. So, hopefully I can reduce injury by building those muscles up. :)

Today has been a nice day. Fischer went to school, Amelia and I went to Weight Watchers to weigh in (me, not her), then I came home and just "played" with the kids all day. I bought this ginormous pool at Wal Mart. Ya know the kind that is 2 feet deep and has it's own pump? Yes, that's what's in my yard. But, I do have a backyard with a privacy fence, so the "tacky" factor is partially hidden. Luckily it's only 5 ft in diameter, so it's not too overhwhelming. My son is a fish, so this summer I'm willing to kill a large circle of my grass to let him have pool time. I get cool mom points for that. Anyhoo, Fischer and I hung out on our deck and pretended like we were at the beach. I read a book and sipped ice water with a straw (it's easier for me to drink a lot of water with a straw for some reason. It's my new "thing") and Fischer threw every plastic toy he had outside in his pool and then scooped it out with his "fishing net." Good times..

Here's my tracker so far:

Breakfast:
WW muffin: 3 pt
Coffee: 0pt

Lunch:
Bowl of Vegetarian Chille: 8 pts (didn't realize it was that much)
1/2 avacado: 4 pts
1 dollap ff plain yogurt: 0 pt

Snack:
WW bar: 1 pt
ww muffin: 3 pts

Dinner:
Vegetarian Lasagna: 5 pts

Total used: 24 pts
Activity points: 4 pts (run 4 miles)
Points left: 2 pts

I'll probably have a 2 pt snack late tonight.

No flexies used! :)

Back from vacation and I barely got out alive! The week was chuck full of Krispy Kreme, hamburgers, fries, fried seafood of all kinds, hushpuppies, cookies, bbq ribs...you name it. Phew! Day one I did well. Day two I was full on stuffing myself every hour. Ugh. But, when I got home the scale only had me at a 1 lbs gain. So I hope that it doesn't catch up with me next week. Oy!

I've sort of been back and forth in my head about continuing with the Core plan. I really love that I don't have to track every last thing, but I'm also missing some of my old staples. I'm really missing being able to eat anything I want. I like the fact that Core stresses "whole" foods, but I'm just feeling a bit "frenzied" by night time- wanting a Smart Ones or a WW chocolate muffin. I can't really eat "on the go" with Core. Oh...what to do, what to do..... I think I might continue eating mostly Core foods, but track them. So, doing Flex with an emphasis on Core foods. That way I can spend points where I want to if I get a hankerin' for something. :)

I've noticed a lot of anxiety surrounding my eating habits lately. I'm trying to get in the habit of this maintainence thing. Unfortunatley I haven't been to weigh in in 4 weeks! There just isn't enough hours in the day. I start to feel really discouraged by that and then I remember that I've had a lot on my plate. It's hard for me to admit that because I've had to have such a die hard mentality of "no excuses" this whole journey. But, when I look back at the last few months, they've been some of the more stressful months of my life. And yet I've been able to maintain my weight. I may not have lost a ton, but at least I didn't gain 10 lbs! So, that said, I'm proud of myself. It's like a seed was planted and I've watched this new ability spring up in me that is capable of moving forward without beating myself up for things. I just have to remind myself of that. That's sort of huge for me. :) It's like my leader says: "It's not about being perfect. It's about progress."

Moving forward... I went to Trader Joe's today and stocked up on some serious Weight Watcher's friendly foods. So delish! I love that place. Ed and I are obsessed with grilling out. We love our new back deck. It's like another "family room" for us. We're out there all the time. My herb garden is growing so well out there that I'm cooking with them all the time. Tonight we grilled shrimp and veggies. And I made some fried polenta with a chickpea/tomato sauce. Big flavor all around!

So...tomorrow I'll start back with tracking points.

Okay, here's some recent pics! I had my 10 year class reunion Saturday night and had a lot of fun. Felt good, young, and drank too much wine. :) Oh! And I ran 4 miles yesterday and my knees were fine! YAH! I'm back to my old self. :)




(These are the "drink too much wine" pics)















Today's Tracker:

Breakfast:
Oatmeal
Coffee with skim milk
banana

Lunch:
WW Cous Cous with chickpeas, diced tomatos, and mushrooms
Avacado

Snack:
NF Latte

Dinner:
Lean Strip Steak
Baked potato with ff cottage cheese
Steamed broccoli with mushrooms and shallots poured on top

Here's a pic of my lunch. It was so pretty, I just thought I'd capture it. LOL




I have some updated weight loss pics but my camera is being funky and won't let me upload them to my computer. I'm working on it....