Sunday, May 20, 2007

I've been in denial.

So ever since the beach I've been on this "everthing I eat turns to air" kick. I ate so horribly and then got home and didn't appear to have gained. So, in my head I felt like I didn't have to be as on top of things. Well, now my beach trip is coming back to haunt me and this past week is raging against me. Ugh. I feel like a bloated cow. It doesn't help that I got my period (that's for all you guys that read my blog). I've just thrown in the towel this week. And as bad as I feel and as unmotivated as I am, I know the key is to talk it out and move forward. This is all part of the process. Yada, yada, yada. much as I want to avoid weigh in tomorrow (I'm probably up 3 lbs....seriously), I'm going to go. *sigh*

I'm back on Core. I think I did better on that plan and I think when I said I wanted to switch back to Flex, I was really just wanting to eat crap. I pretty much feed my kids Core all day- might as well eat along with them.

It's interesting what your head can do. If you're in a bad frame of mind, you're screwed! And you know what's the worst? All the crap food I've eaten in the last 2 weeks wasn't even worth it. At all. Today I felt so discouraged that I bought a candy bar with the intention of eating the whole thing. I haven't done that in a year probably. It's a hording mentality. And I keep doing that thing I did in the past with diets: "I'll start back tomorrow." I should know by now that is not the way to do this. That mentality does not work. IT DOES NOT WORK! It's funny what lies you'll believe to get what you want in the moment. :)

Good news is that I'm still running. I hit my goal this week. Ran at least 3 days. Next week is the same thing. I love this weather. It's so peaceful to run.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to choose to stop my bad eating habits. It's never too late to stop. And it's also a joy to eat well. I really do enjoy it and I know my body thanks me. So, with that, I bid farewel!! LOL I"ll post weigh in tomorrow.

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