Saturday, July 14, 2007

Ok, I had a revelation last night. For months now I've felt cornered in by limitations with my food. Whether it was points or certain foods I had to avoid- I felt boxed in and I think it has something to do with my desire to binge. I've been reading a book called "Lose It For Life" and I have to say it's "reading my mail." Basically it encourages intuitive eating and healthy choices. There are no "rules." It isn't a diet, it's more like a philosophy. They even says it's "doable" with Weight Watchers. I was particualary hit by the "emotional hunger" they talk about. How to distinguish physical hunger from emotional hunger. The more I read, the more I felt like this book was describing what I've been struggling with the last few months. While they say you can apply this mindset with any diet, they do add that being on a "diet" only reenforces the binge mentality. Which makes sense. And so the more and more I'm reading this, the more and more I feel like I'm cheating on WWs. LOL And while I credit WWs with helping me lose the bulk of my weight, I feel like I need a fresh approach. I need to work on living this out and not just adhering to rules. So, I talked to Ed about it and told him my fears of going off WWs and doing this and how I was worried I was just trying to find another "magic pill," yada, yada, yada. He actually thought it was a good idea. He knows me well and said that I get in ruts when I'm not able to change things up. And right now I'm definitely in a rut. I feel like my whole day is dominated by what I'm going to eat, where I can eat and how much I can eat. But what I really desire is freedom from this. I want the freedom to stop thinking about food. I want the freedom to eat anything I want (within reason) and just stop when I'm full. And this is basically what Lose It For Life is promoting. There are no gimicks or food guides, no counting or "off limit" foods, but simply teaching how to eat normally and in moderation. And that's really what we all need to learn.

So, I'm giving it a try. I'm doing it for 3 weeks and I'm just going to see how it works. If I feel like it's not working or I gain- I'm back on WWs. But, I think I owe it to myself to find something that works for ME. Afterall, this weightloss thing is a foward journey where I have to adapt to what works. So, here I go!

The family went to Flying Biscuit this morning for breakfast. It was so nice. I felt so free and had zero stress or guilt about ordering what I wanted. It was such a nice feeling. And I listened to when I felt full and quit eating. There was half my food still on my plate, but I really was content.

Anyway, here's my tracker so far:

Flying Biscuit Breakfast Plate: 2 eggs, 1 wheat biscuit, apple butter, chicken sausage and grits. I had half of everything. :)

Mocha from Starbucks

Chicken, spinach and goat cheese quesadilla (1/2, 1 tortilla) Left about a 1/4 of it on my plate because I was full. IT WAS GOOD!

I'll update with the rest of the day later. :)

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