Mama Rocks

My Saturday started out with the best intentions and then by the time I got into bed last night I had had 5 pcs of pizza total yesterday. I ate it all day! I was on the go all day and I 100% grabbed that pizza with an emotional intent behind each bite. Feels yucky. In fact, this whole way of eating seems to be creeping up way more often than I'd like.

I'm stuck at 139-142 lbs and I can't break through. Well, I can, but I'm choosing not to by over eating and letting old habits dominate more. For some reason the resolve I had to lose this weight is slipping away. I hear it's really common for that to happen the last 5 lbs, but I still feel like I'm failing. For the first time I'm starting to let one bad meal turn into one bad day. Whereas before I'd just get right back to plan at the next meal. And then I caught myself actually considering not eating at all Sunday to "correct" the bad eating that's occurred this week. And we all know that's not the solution. I can't believe I even considered that.

Tomorrow is weigh in and I really don't want to see a gain, but I'm afraid it's too late. I have to forgive myself and move on. I've got to get in a good, solid week. I'm using my daily tracker less and less and that's not a good sign. I'm also grabbing "little bites" of the kid's food and it's adding up. This has got to stop. I know I'm not going to gain the weight back. I even thought about moving my goal weight to 140 lbs, but I think that would be a cop out. I can realistically get to 135 lbs. It's a reasonable weight for my height and it's totally attainable. It's just a matter of doing it. I think this might the be hardest part of the weight loss. I know I have what it takes to make it happen, I just have to find it deep inside.

My only goal for this next week is to write everything that goes into my mouth down on my daily tracker. And to write it as I eat it, not at the end of the day. I know I can do this, I just need to get back to what kept my OP in the beginning. I'm going to be honest with myself about the points I'm eating.

On a good note, I'm still running and really loving it. The last few runs I've had were really hard, which was new for me. Lately I had been feeling really good during my runs. But the last few have felt "heavy." Nonetheless, I've still laced up my shoes and hit the road, so that's good. Today is Sunday and I'm hoping to run at the river near me for a change in scenery. Maybe I'll do 6 miles....maybe just 3....we'll see.

Thanks for listening.

****UPDATE*****

I ran 6 miles! It was tough when I hit the 3 mile mark and thought: "Well, I could stop now but..." But I did it! Felt good. Especially after my crappy week.