Sunday, March 04, 2007

I've been a bad, bad girl. I have 100% regressed into my old frame of mind. I felt myself slipping the last few weeks and now I sit here in "post stuff " state I feel yucky. Yesterday I had a very stressful day of cleaning and showing my house and then having to find something to do with the kids to keep them out of the house. I got the car and just fell into this "I need a fix" state. I drove straight to Dunkin Donuts and ate 2 chocolate glazed donuts. Then last night after I had been in bed for a while watching TV, I got up and ate a muffin. I wasn't even hungry and I was about to go to sleep. THEN, I started today well and then it slowly spun out of control. We had a family get together that involved 2 kinds of cake. Enough said. Tonight I came home and told Ed I wanted to be bad and get something really "bad" to get it out of my system. He complied and we got take out from this place nearby. I got a buffalo chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries, with blue cheese. Oh, and a coke. A REAL coke. I inhaled it like a drug addict would. It was good, but wasn't as good as I thought it would be. It never is...

Ironically my 12 week food tracking diary ended today. I start a new booklet tomorrow. Timing is everything. I preach and preach about having no more excuses and prioritizing staying OP throughout any and all life events, changes, etc. I think I let the stress of all this house selling/buying get in the way of goal. No more. I have not come this far to give in. I'm not a victum. I'm not going to be full of excuses of why I can't get to goal. I gave that up last June when I first joined and started this blog. I'm so happy with myself as I am. For the first time in years I feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel strong. I feel beautiful. I feel complete. Content. The last thing I want is to go back to where I was.

Good news is that I didn't get fat eating like this just one day. I got fat eating crappy every day for weeks, months and years on end. So, I'm choosing to stop this train now, instead of later. I'm choosing to let a day of healthy eating follow another day of healhty eating and so on.

I have 5 lbs to lose. I started this out with 50 lbs to lose. I must focus on how far I've come and move forward. It's not about perfection, it's about progress.

Tomorrow is Monday. I have weigh in. I'm choosing to face the music and except whatever the outcome is. I'm so proud of how far I've come. I'm forgiving myself for the last few weeks. I'm excited about getting to goal. It's closer than ever.

Thanks to all of you who lurk on my blog and also those that make yourself known to me via email or comments. Knowing you all are "here" helps keep me on my path.

Here's to picking yourself up and moving forward! Cheers!

2 comments:

yeahwright said...

Good luck tonight. It might not be as bad as you think. Didn't you think you weren't gonna do well last week and you lost 2.8 or so? Keep us posted and hang in there. I also hate having to leave the house during a showing. We went to Target Sat. during a showing just to get out. Fun fun.

Anonymous said...

OMG, this is SOOO me right now. I was 3 lbs from goal and now I'm totally blowing it.

I have read your entire blog today to get me back on track.

Thank you. I can't wait to read about when you hit goal;)

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