Mama Rocks

Had weigh in last night and I'm down 2.8 lbs! Yah! Now my stupid gain from last week is vanished! (Or at least that's how I see it. LOL) 145.6 lbs!

I talked to my leader about these last 10 lbs and why it seems so hard to get off. And when I say it's "hard" to get off- I mean the lack of determination setting in. She said she struggled with her last 10 lbs too. She said: "You look fine and you feel fine, so you don't really sweat the little bite here and there." I had to laugh because that's so true for me. She encouraged me to drink more water and really track my points. And, of course, use Weekly Allowance pts only on occassion. I think that's doable. Once I reach goal, I get to increase my points anyway to maintainance, so I think I can handle "buckling down" for a while. I have to laugh because I'm so protective of my weekly allowance pts. They are why I stuck with WW so long. :)

I moved back to evening meetings last night because it's been getting more difficult to take Amelia with me to the morning meetings. She wants to play and I'm super paranoid about her making too much noise. :) I was happy to go back to evening meetings because there are a few girls I miss seeing every week. I was looking forward to seeing them. One of them came in late to the meeting. Finally as we were having an open discussion, she spoke up. She has lost 40 lbs and looks amazing, but still wants to lose more and feels like she's lost all her "mojo" for the rest of the journey. She began to cry and my heart just went out to her. She pretty much said what we all think and don't always say. Those of us who are so used to being on "diets" and failing have this fear of repeating the past and getting "fluffy" again. I was so glad she shared. I think she felt silly crying, but it was like a breathe of fresh air. She was being real. I don't think anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight has done so without bumps along the way. Even big bumps. I was so glad she made it to a meeting. That alone is a HUGE step when you're feeling so "off." I talked to her afterwards and just tried to let her know she wasn't alone and we've all been there. Of course we'll go through seasons of NO determination. I think I hit patches of that along the way. I think difference is that I had determined that "quiting was not an option" (as my leader says every week). So even if I have a bad couple weeks, I have to keep focusing forward and eventually I get back on track. But, as a former diet hopper, it's hard to come back after "failure." You feel like you've blown yet another diet and you'll be fat forever. I can't tell you how many times I had that horrible feeling. I can't totally pin point what made the difference this time other than learning how to forgive myself and never quit. Granted, my journey is by no means over. Maintaining this is going to be another layer of challenges. But, that's life. You learn to work with challenges.

I'm happy to say there is NOTHING on the agenda today. I might go to the gym this afternoon, but I might not. LOL Because I live in a house built in 1932, it's currently 57 degrees inside. The hardwoods are ice cold. Ugh. We have central heat and air, but poor insulation and I'm just cold as can be. I have myself and the kids double layered. I might try to get out somewhere just to get warm. I'm ready for Spring!