*Updated*

I have another one of my clients "stirring" so I might be back at the hospital this weekend. Hopefully I won't fall off the wagon. Thankfully she's delivering at the hospital closest to me, so I can get there and get home easily. I need to bring some granola bars this time and just resist the temptation to go to the vending machine or fast food. Why is it that the grossest things sound good in moments like those?

Here's my tracker/plan:

Breakfast:
WW's Boston Creme Pie yogurt: 1 pt
1/2 cup All Bran: 0pts
1/2 banana sliced: 1 pt

Snack:
Mocha: 3 pts

Lunch:
Left over Spaghetti Squash Lasagna: 4 pts
Apple: 1 pt

Snack:
WW's muffin: 3 pts

Dinner:
I picked a whole chicken already stuffed with wild mushrooms and rice. I'll steam some broccoli and call it a day! (7 pts)

Workout: 20 mins on TM, then Body Sculpt class at the Y.(4 APs)

That leaves me with 4 pts to eat something sweet after dinner. Probably another fruit item and a Slim A Bear (2 pts)

Blech. Had a so so day. I feel all out of sorts because of my lack of exercise. Luckily I'm set to go to my Heat class tomorrow morning. I so need this!

I've just had too many snacky things today. Here's my tracker....

Breakfast:
Coffee-cream and sugar: 1 pt
muffin: 2 pts

Snack/Lunch:
Apple: 1 pt
1/2 banana:1pt
Too many almonds: 5 pts

Snack:
mocha: 3 pts
RF blueberry crumb cake from Starbucks: 6 pts

Dinner:
Lean ground beef stirfry with tomatos, zucchini, carrots and red pepper: 3 pts
Brown Rice: 4 pts

Dessert:
Slim A Bear Mint Chocolate Chip icecream sandwich: 2 pts

28 pts. 9 Flexies used!

I need some APs. I'm burning too many Flex points too soon.

I feel full. Real full. But I got on the scale while I felt this way- right after dinner (never do that) and I was only at 140 lbs exactly. So I think I'm just still bloated from my lady friend.

Life is changing.....

So, I've canceled my tummy tuck in April. I know.....WHY????!?!!!! Well, because my gut is throwing red flags all over the place. At first I felt a huge sense of relief after I booked it. I felt peace with it. I felt like it was the right thing to do and I felt excited! Then, the last week or two I've been conflicted. Not so much about the surgery itself, but about not having another child. And for those of you who know--I KNOW! I know I'm changing my mind yet again!! But truth is, I think it took me booking the surgery to really figure out what I wanted to do.

And so now here I am having just canceled my special date in April and I feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Will I eventually do a tummy tuck? I think I will. But I want to be darn sure it's the right time to do it. Am I going to have a third child? Maybe.

Oh Lord, now I'm just remembering how big I got with Amelia. Ugh. But, truth is I've changed. And I know how to eat well and that can transfer into a healthy pregnancy gain. *IF* I get pregnant again.

Alright, let the comments begin....

Hey beautiful people! I've been missing in action for a few days, or maybe just plain absent minded and too lazy to post. My lovely lady friend arrived and my cravings are now balanced and I'm not hunting down small children and looking for their candy. What's the deal with PMS? (To sound like Jerry Seinfeild) Must we feel, act and look like a woman that's 3-4 months pregnant EVERY month? And the acne break out is enough to just put the icing on the cake of poor body image for a week. Most women hate their periods. I'm relived once I've actually gotten it because that means I'm not bloated, tired, depressed, angry, or over emotional anymore.

So the last few days have not been my best. But not necessarily bad. I had a birth last night which always throws my meal plans out the window and into "chance." Luckily I grabbed a mocha and a bran muffin for dinner at the Starbucks in the hospital. That's more points than you think, but could have been a quarter pounder from the McDonald's that's also in the hospital. I guess they put the McDonalds there to rack up more business for the hospital. Ups your odds of cardiac arrest.

AND....every effort at exercise has not happened yet this week. Monday I took care of Ed's dad who just had knee surgery while the kids were in school. So I missed Heat. Which was fine, because I really wanted to help Ed's parents. Then Tuesday I showed up to my Total Body class only to be turned away due to a power outage at the YMCA. :( Then yesterday I had a birth and those always suck the energy right out of you. So today there is a Turb Kick class at 6:30pm. I may go if I can convince Ed to hang with Amelia while Fischer and I go to the Y. We'll see..

All this to say that the combo of PMS and "chance" meals have had me a bit worried about being OP lately. But my scale still has me at 138 lbs, so that's good.

Today I have a plan. I set out some lean ground beef from the freezer this morning. I don't know what I'll make yet, but it will be something point friendly. Maybe spaghetti. Maybe a ground beef stir fry with veggies and couscous?

Anyway, the kids and I need to get dressed and head out to our Thursday play group.

I'll touch back later! LOST IS ON TONIGHT! (Sorry- I just love THursdays)

Took my kids for Easter pics today. I stayed OP- which is a miracle because that was quite possibly the most stressful thing I've done in a while... Did I mention American Cookie Company was right next to the studio? I was eyeing it like a crack addict .

Waffles are good. Those babies right there are 2 Kashi waffles with sugar free syrup, ICBINB and 1/4 a banana sliced up.
<---------------3 pts!

This weekend has been a bit crazy. I've had these meals that weren't very easy to calculate and just about every night I didn't eat dinner and then couldn't because of my Lent fast that begins at 7pm. But, hey, perhaps that's a good thing. The weekend was full of good breakfast, pizza and even real COKE! Remember, nothing is off limits, just enjoy in moderation.

I picked up a book from the library. The Beck Diet Solution. Basically a psychologist's take on eating and how to train your brain to eat like a thin person. Good stuff. I'm sort of skimming it, but really enjoying the simple strategies. One thing that stood out to me that I'd normal skip right over, but one of my biggest issues.

"Eat slowly and mindfully"

I cannot tell you how many times I've inhaled a sandwich, piece of pizza, muffin, you name it and before I knew it I was done eating and I was already thinking of the next meal. It's torture for those of us that struggle with true addiction to the feeling of eating. I love eating. I think about food all the time. I love the ritual of preparing food, sitting down to eat it, going out to eat, going over to someone's house to eat, everything food! And I really do myself an injustice by inhaling it and not taking it in slowly. I guess I think of food as my enemy sometimes. I have to conquer it quickly !

But the truth is that food is good. It's nourishing, delicious and fun. It's your friend, not your enemy. Unfortunately, I seldom take the time to taste what I'm eating. And the only reason I eat more is to savor the flavor because I hadn't bothered to notice it the last 20 bites! But I've been aware the last few days of how fulfilling it is to enjoy your food from the first bite. Your dining experience becomes enhanced and you really do feel less inclined to keep eating once you're full. How pivotal is that?

I'm sipping on Lemon Lime LaCriox water. I've never been a fan of sparking water, but I'm branching out and trying to find new items to keep in my frig. Ed and I are sitting on our bed with our respective lap tops watching the Ocsars. I'm really, really bummed Ellen Page did not win Best Actress. Go see Juno, you won't regret it.

I did it! I went to Flying Biscuit and had the feast I've been saving myself for all week. And the funny thing is that I got full quickly and didn't end up eating my eggs or potatoes. So I didn't blow as many points as I planned. Their biscuits are just simply heavenly. Oh, and then Cranberry Apple Butter is just .......yum!

My boys arrive back today. I miss them. I had a birth yesterday (well, false labor I should say) and didn't end up eating from 11-8pm. Finally at my book club I devoured food. I'm not supposed to eat past 7pm- but I broke the rules because I was starving! All that eating probably influenced my breakfast fullness this morning. Hopefully it will all even out.

Yesterday I got on the scale and it said 137! Woooohooo! I finally worked off last Sunday's binge. I knew if I focused, it would come back off.

You'll be proud of me- I've been doing great on the water front. Drinking my 64 oz every day. My body feels less bloated and I just feel better.

I'm trying to get in a nap while Amelia's napping, so I gotta go to sleep! I'll post tracker later!

Man, I have really been struggling this week. But I'm proud to say I have not given into temptation! I'm exercising my self discipline muscles. I was jonesing for a second helping of my Tomato-Basil Quiche tonight and I didn't get it. I even stood in front of the frig to get it back out and make another plate and I stopped myself. I shut the door, grabbed a bottle of water and turned the lights and headed upstairs. The nice perk of a two story home is that you can flee to the other level when the kitchen is calling your name. It's my newest technique.

I decided to go to a Body Sculpting class at the last minute this afternoon. I had planned on letting this be a day of rest, but then felt up to something. I made it there a little early and did 20 mins on the stair machine. I HATE THE MACHINES but I wanted to get my heart rate up so that I'd get more calories burned out of the body sculpt class. It worked! I was in a full sweat when I got to class. I upped all my weights and boy was it challenging. But I pushed myself and felt great when I finished. Endorphines are so nice.....

Here's my tracker:

B: Muffin: 3 pt
Mocha: 3 pt
Apple: 1 pt

L: Quiche: 5 pts
Pear: 1 pt

S: Another muffin: 3 pts (should have had more fruit I think)


D: Um, yeah Quiche again!: 5 pts
Baby carrots: 0 pts

S: Another mocha: 3 pts

APs: 20 min stair machine and Body Sculpt class: +4 pts

Total: 25 pts-4 APs= only 1 Flexie used!

This is what happens when you find yourself grabbing M&Ms and shoving them into your mouth. Something's got to give! In a split second I threw them down the drain before putting another handful down! VICTORY! I think I only ended up eating 5 pts worth of them. This is all after eating a healthy dinner. I was cleaning up and just mindlessly started eating them when I saw them on top of the frig.

Made it to Total Body today and boy are those workouts getting harder! I'm conscientiously pushing myself harder, but still. I feel like the "sweaty girl" in class. I'm the only one that is absolutely covered in sweat. Like my hair is dripping and totally wet. I'm could almost get a complex about it, but figured that it made me look like I was working the hardest. Ha ha.

Here's my tracker:


I want to really focus on my water intake. I was doing lunges in my class today and I always get this cramp on my calf of the leg not doing the work. I asked my instructor why that is. She said it's dehydration. Point taken. 64 oz baby! I want to hit 64 oz of water everyday this week!

I read several blogs a day, but this one stood out when I read Tori's blog. I'm all about the weight loss benefits of exercise, but it's good to be reminded of how important it really is. Tori listed all these facts out, so give her all the credit!

The use of exercising:

1. Exercise reduces all cause death...in other words, even a little bit and your risk factors for early death go down
2. Exercise increases bone density, so important in women
3. Exercise can help balance the hormones
4. Exercise reduces your risk of Cardiovascular Heart Diseaes (CHD)
5. Exercise improves joint movement
6. Exercise increases lung capacity
7. Exercise increases your metabolism LONG after you have stopped working out BUT ONLY IF YOU EAT ENOUGH FUEL TO SUPPORT IT. If you don't, you'll lower your metabolism.
8. Exercise increases balance by helping your proprioceptors, which is extremely important as we age.
9. People who get regular, vigorous exercise live an average of 14 more years, and have more life in those years
10. Exercise aids in digestion, which can help reduce colon cancer.
11. Exercise improves skin tone
12. Exercise improves self esteem and self perception
13. Regular exercise improves back health
14. Strong women stay young isn't just the title of a book...
15. Exercise can increase immune function
16. As we get older, our metabolism naturally slows down. Exercise can help combat that.
17. As we get older, our muscle strength naturally reduces. Exercise can help combat that.
18. Exercise is an absolute NECESSITY for optimal health

I'm taking my exercise regime more seriously as I approach my surgery. Exercise speeds recovery when (even when done beforehand). I hope to get back to some level of activity by 6 weeks. I know I won't be up to par in my Heat classes, but I hope to work up to it at least by 8 months. Even I do the super modified version.

Boy am I glad it's Monday! Yesterday was not my best day. Let's just say it involved M&Ms, cookie cake with icing, chips/dip, and Breyer's mint chocolate chip icecream. Can someone say PMS? My word, I was on a mission yesterday! I'm convinced my over eating from Saturday night affected my Sunday. I didn't quite recover. Lesson learned. Moving on.

Good news is that I weighed in for this month and I'm still within my range (140 lbs), so I don't have to pay AGAIN! YAH! I made it back to my Heat class today. Dear Lawd it was hard! But I needed to blast off that icecream. After my workout and weigh in- the kids and I went to one of our favorites restaurants Salsa. I ventured there alone with them in hopes that we could have a nice little lunch out. The moon and stars were aligned and we had a very good time. We ordered chips and salsa and cheese dip! Then just a plate of rice and beans. Fischer and I fill up on the cheese dip and Amelia is my little piggy who still needs a full meal afterwards. I don't normally let them just eat chips and cheese dip- but it was a special treat for "Presents" (Presidents) Day- as Fischer calls it. After lunch we hit the grocery store to get some goods. We needed some fresh fruit and some basics.

Now I'm bathed, dressed and both my kids are having quiet time in their rooms. I'm shocked Amelia isn't passed out, I know she's dead tired. I just pray she falls asleep (most likely against the door) so she'll be in good spirits this afternoon.

Here's my daily tracker and my meal plans for the rest of the day:

B: 1 slices high fiber toast, ICBINB, ALL Fruit grape jelly: 2 pts

S: Mocha: 3 pts

AP: Heat +4 pts

L: Chips, salsa, cheese dip: 9 pts

D:Balsamic Chicken tenders and broccoli: 4 pt

S: Fresh strawberries with a little bit of sugar (marinating in the frig): 2 pts

Total: 16 pts (including APs)

I have 4 pts to spare for a dessert snack or more fruit. We'll see. I need to get some more fruit in there! I'll add an apple.

Cheers!

Enjoying my weekend here.... well maybe a little too much! We were invited over to a neighbors house for dinner tonight and I over did it. I slept in today which throws my day off. I skip breakfast, then eat lunch and then I'm usually famished by dinner. And she made a delightful baked ziti with turkey sausage and cheese, garlic bread, salad, then CHEESECAKE! I was trying to observe my Lent fast of no eating beyond 7pm. It was literally 6:55pm as cheesecake was being served and I began to wolf it down. And that was after two helpings of dinner. Ugh.... It's like I caved under the pressure to eat before 7pm.

I know I'm PMSing and that's part of the problem. The other part is whenever I have a meal out of my control- I end up eating like I'm never going to be able to have that meal again. It's silly really. I mean, I could eat any food in small portions. Anything! So I'm not sure why I stuffed my pie hole.

But my body reacted. I felt my stomach rumble about 10 mins after I finished my food and I knew it was not going to be pretty. I think when you treat your body well by eating in moderation 90% of the time, it literally purges when you put too much in. Here I was at a friend's house and I'm trying to figure out how I can go to the bathroom and be missing in action for a while. Yet another price to pay for over eating-embarrassment. Luckily I was able to quickly take care of business and be back chatting.

So now of course I'm hungry because my stomach and digestive track are swept clean. But I can't eat cause it's 9:45pm. Serves me right!!

Anyway, I won't let this day slip into tomorrow. I plan on have a very healthy Sunday- treating my body good. :) I have a busy day with church and then a party for one of my friend's little girls. She's have a "Spa Party" and I'm in charge of doing hair. I found these adorable little hair accessories in the dollar bin at Target. They even had mini hair extensions! I don't know whose more excited- Grace and Zoe or me.........

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Morning scale reading: 138.6 lbs! Wow, feels good to remain in the 130's. :) I think last summer I barely saw it and then creeped up slightly.

I made it to a Power Step class last night. That is the one class I just can't "get." I try so hard to get the step routine down. Everyone knows the "lingo" and moves accordingly. I've gone three times now and cannot get it. But I did sweat and that's all that counts, right? I'm the type that likes a challenge though, so I may go back again next week and try to nail it.

Staying OP has been much easier since my Lent fast. Not eating past 7pm really makes a difference in my mindless eating. I have to say, I go to bed every single night with an empty stomach that is growling ferociously. But each morning I wake up and my breakfast tastes so much better. :)

Today's agenda is playgroup, then naps, then I'm going to get gussied up and go on a hot date with Ed. We're going to Figo (italian) and then to see Cloverfield. I'm excited. Ed and I have not had a good date night since we went to NYC in December. He's on my good list today- he let me sleep in and he brought me a mocha after he ran to the bank! GOOD MAN!

I've saved all my Flex for today. I already looked up the menu for Figo and planned my meal. I'm going to spend 30 pts on dinner alone!! We're going to dinner early so I can eat before 7pm. Ha ha.

******update******

We ended up seeing Juno and I loved it!!! We laughed pretty hard, but it was also very touching. I teared up at one point and tried to hide it from Ed and of course he looks over at me and laughs. Grrrr.....But it was good! I ended up changing my dinner . I went for the pasta with bolognese sauce. It actually worked out to less points. So that's good news!

I'm a little preoccupied with the tummy tuck these days. I've been on a tummy tuck support message board where everyone takes before photos. So I decided to take some just now in my workout clothes before my class.

I'm uploading these images in separate posts because it won't let me do it all together. The first image is the "librarian tuck." You tuck the skin in and then get the oh so cute bump.

The last is a pic of my arm. My arms are the best part of me. They're strong, toned and they hug my babies!

As you can see the elasticity is shot. I wanted to show you the area where my belly pops out from under my workout top. This happens during class and drives me mad!!!

And the last bottom image is me from the front. I just feel like my stomach does not match the rest of my body.

Not to get all down on my body. I actually love my body! A little enhancement in the middle region would be the icing on the cake though!

Feeling MUCH Better!

I woke up today feeling much better with minimal sore throat. Just hoarse. But that's okay. I'm into the sexi Demi Moore thing.

Anyway, after a day of slothfulness I went to the grocery store last night. I needed food badly and I knew if I just woke up today, I'd end up eating bad things if I didn't have better options. I threw a pork loin in the crockpot along with carrots, potatoes, onions and some French Onion Lipton Soup mix. That should be nice and tender by the time I get back with the kids from my Total Body class. Fischer and I made Poppy Seed Muffins today. I got the recipe off Roni's site. As I do so many of my recipes. She's a great resource!

Here's this week's meal line up:

Pork Loin Roast
Spaghetti Squash Lasagna
Balsamic Dijion Chicken Tenders
Salisbury Steak
Texas Shredded Pork

Breakfast/Lunch options:
Poppy Seed Muffins
French Toast
Tomato-Basil Quiche
Black Bean and Corn Wontons

I made the Black Been and Corn Wontons for lunch today and mine were incredibly messy! Nothing like the picture on Roni's site. But, they were VERY good! 8 wontons are only 5 pts. Dip in salsa and you have a great lunch with protein and veggies. The kids even liked them.

I'm going to my Total Body class at 4:30pm today. I need to get back on the wagon of consistent exercise. Getting Strep throat threw me off. But I'm determined! I've got the running bug again. I may sign up for a 10k soon. The nicer weather has got me jonesing to be outdoors.

Here's my tracker so far:

Breakfast:
WW muffin: 3 pts
Coffee w/ half&half and sugar: 1 pt

Lunch:
1 ff Hebrew National hotdog: 1 pt
1 whole wheat bun: 2 pt
apple: 1 pt

Second Lunch (I ate the hot dog thinking the wontons would be awful since they looked so bad):
5 wontons: 4 pts

Dinner:
Pork Loin roast with veggies: 6 pts

Total Body: + 4 pts

Total: 18 pts
APs: 4 pts
New Total: 14 pts

Leaving 5 to play with after dinner. (But no eating after 7pm!!)

Leaving

I'm writing to you from bed. I'm sick. Again. Thankfully it's not fluish, but my throat feels like it did when I had strep. My left side is swollen and hurts when I swallow. Ugh. So, I can't go to my Heat class today. Which sucks because I was looking forward to it. Luckily the kids are at preschool today and I don't have to pick them up until 1:30pm! My plan is to rest in bed until then.

I need to try and go weigh in soon if I can. I need to get one in for Feb. And since I'm easily under my goal, I need to go! :) Not that I'm planning on gaining weight soon, but I just like to "lock that weight in." LOL It's like refinancing!

So far I have no appetite today, so I'm thinking staying OP will not be too difficult today. Ed is running to the bank and he's gonna bring me back a mocha to soothe my throat. I've been taking this homeopathic stuff for sore throat, in addition to Ricola throat lozenges. If it gets worse, I'm going to the doc. But my body actually feels fine. A little tired, but nothing last two weeks ago.

I need to get to the grocery store. I need some basics. Here's my list of basics incase any of you are interested:

Vitamuffins
Lite English Muffins
Part Skim Mozzerella cheese
Tomato paste
Progresso soups (low sodium)


What I really need to do is get back to cooking and prepping meals a head of time. Makes it so easy to eat healthy dinners. Maybe I'll spend this "sick" time planning.


****update****

Yeah, so remember when I said above that I didn't think I'd need to worry too much about staying OP? Well, I ended up having a burrito. I took some ibuprofen and my throat felt better, so I ended up inhaling a 13 pt burrito and some chips! Awesome. Fortunately I feel stuffed and almost sick. So maybe I won't dip into my Flex and just keep the rest of the day water only. I swear, even when I'm sick I'm ALL about food. It's a true addiction people!

Morning scale reading: 138.8!!!! I broke the 139 curse! 3 more pounds and I'm down to my personal goal of 135 lbs. Then, in April it's estimated that I'll have roughly 5 lbs removed with the tummy tuck and lipo. Wow...I don't know what I would do with myself if I saw the 120's again. April suddenly seems really far away....

I went dancing last night with some friends. I love dancing because you get to earn APs while hanging out and having fun. I think we danced for about 2 hours. The place was jam packed! It's always nice to get out and relieve your stress through dancing. There's something about the energy of everyone in there dancing that makes me happy. I could do without the drunk messes that are making out on the dance floor though...

I got home at 2:30am. Got into bed at 3am and then woke up wide awake at 9:30am. Ed was going to let me sleep until 11 and I just couldn't do it. I know I'm going to regret this later when the kids are hanging on me, wanting to wrestle or go outside or something.... I'm taking today off as far as exercise. I half way thought about going to my Cardio Funk class at noon, but decided that I got my 'cardio funk' on last night and didn't need it today. :)

My Lent fast of no eating past 7pm is really affecting my weightloss. Not that I did it for that, but mainly because I just love to snack at night. I didn't realize that I probably ingest the yucky, empty calories at night. And it usually involved sodium laden snacks that cause me to bloat. Instead, I'm drinking water and it's really benefiting my body. I feel less bloated and less drowsy in the mornings when I wake up. Maybe I should make this a permanent fixture in my eating routine...

Ed's out with the kids now running some errands. I asked him to bring me back a grande mocha and a reduced fat coffee cake from Starbucks. Mmmmmm..... The cake is good, but it's still 7 pts. But it sounds just right.

I'll post my tracker later....

Quick post...Morning scale reading said 139.4lbs!!! I'm back and never leaving!


I'll update later.

Morning scale reading: 140 even! Right on track. I knew I would gain a couple pounds back after my Super Bowl fiasco, but looks like I have it under control. Phew!

Today was a good day. As I posted earlier below, I scheduled my tummy tuck for April and it felt good to make that decision. I ate some M&Ms earlier today during a potty training experience with my daughter. Apparently I get more M&Ms than her... But that action (eating 10 pts worth of M&Ms) sprung me into proaction! Ed got off work earlier than he normally does and I got to go run! I did 3.5 miles and had to quit running because my ears were throbbing! Ya know how it gets cold, but not that cold and you think wearing a hat or ear muffs would be stupid? Well, it was stupid not too. I was miserable for the last half of my run. :( But, I did it and that's what counts.

Here's my tracker:

B: Vita muffin: 1 pt
Mocha: 3 pt
Apple: 1 pt

L: Chicken soup: 4 pt
Roll: 1 pt

S: 1/2 cup Peanut M&M's: 10 pts

D: Annie's Organic Burrito: 5 pts
Regular sour cream: 2 pts
Lite Chips: 2 pts

= 29 pts!
APs=+3 pts

Total: 26 pts

7 Flex used.

I booked my surgery! April 25th is the big day!!!!! I cannot believe it. I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. It's like a dream come true. I've daydreamed about a tummy tuck since before my kids and now I can't believe in two months I'll have it. I'm also a little scared. But I feel in my gut that it's the right decision for me.

Many of you have inquired about the cost of what's being done. I know money is an awkward thing for some people to talk about, but I'm one of those people who put everything out there- so I broke down the fees for you. Here they are:

Abdominoplasty: $4,250 (surgeon's fee)
Liposuction- Hips and Flanks: $2140 (surgeon's fee)
4 Hrs Anesthesia- $1615 (facility fee)
3.5 Hrs facility fee- $1525
Binder-$25
Pain Pump-$300

Discounts: $314 (my $100 deposit and a 10% discount)

Total: $9,541

So there you have it. The liposuction is a something my surgeon suggested because what typically happens is that patient gets the tuck and then the 'love handles' become accentuated. So he always suggests a little lipo to the hips and flanks to help balance the look. He said I didn't need much, but that I would benefit from it. It would put the whole "look" together. So, if I just need a little, then why is it $2140??? Dang, this stuff is expensive.

But I'm sort of looking at this all like buying a car. Except this car will last me my whole life. Well, that and the car I'm driving is paid off and we selling our other 'fancy pants' car.

Anyway, I wanted to share it all with you. This is where I typically feel judged. Spending money for 'no good reason.' But for me, it's a good reason. It's going to increase my quality of life and that's important to me. Some people spend that on fast food, fancy cars, cleaning service, etc. I'm spending it on a new tummy.

This summer I will wear a bikini and I will post pics!

Let's have a moment of silence for the chicken apron that is my tummy:

Hello my secret friends!

Ed makes fun of me because I have this whole "secret blogging world." I started tracking unique visits to my blogs and wouldn't you know that 130 people read my blog yesterday!!!?? I was shocked! And that's not page loads, that's individual people! Guess I have a lot of lurkers and not a ton of comment posters. ;) Speak up people!!!

Anyway, I got in a Body Sculpt class this morning after carpool drop off. I thought it would be a "lighter" choice since I've used to mostly cardio classes. Um, once again I was put in my place. ZAPPED my ass! My legs were shaking by the time I left class. I have a feeling I'll be sore tomorrow.

After class I met Ed at our church for the Ash Wednesday service and then headed back to pick the kids up from school. I got a Veg Out Bagel from Einstein Bros. I forgot how much I love that sandwich! It's so good. Hummus, sprouts, cucumbers, tomatoes, red onion. Just plain ol' good. It was 8 pts and work every pt! I was able to do a quick grocery run to Whole Foods during the hour between Amelia's pick up and Fischer's pick up. I loaded up on some fresh, organic fruits and veggies and some snacks.

I made a delish old fashioned chicken soup this afternoon. I forget how good homemade chicken soup is. I boiled my free-range chicken along with carrots, onions and celery. Once chicken was done I took it out and picked it apart. I took the veggies out and left the stock in the pot. I added new carrots, celery and onions. Then the chicken. ended up adding a little bit of orzo, frozen corn and fresh parsley. Salt and pepper and there you have it! Kids ate every last bit in their bowls. Just a good, rich, but simple flavor.

After dinner we all went on a walk. The kids played at the park and then we came home for bath and bed. Just a good day all in all.

I gave up alcohol and eating past 7pm for Lent. So far, so good! :)

Well.....I went to the consult and feel very good about it! First his assistant took several images of me in those oh so cute paper g-strings. Awesome. But I have to say, as unflattering as it was, when I saw myself on the screen I appeared smaller than I imagine myself.

Then I went back to the room for Doc to examine me. Once he got a look at my tummy he seemed very excited. He said I'm a perfect candidate for a tummy tuck and have the best chance of seeing big results. I'm the type of patient he likes doing abdominoplasties on because I only have tissue and skin to remove. He passed with flying colors all 3 pages of my cross examining. Never even once been involved in a malpractice suite. And when I asked about the major risks: blood clot and infection. He said of course there's always that risk, but my age and health is a factor that makes those things slim to none. However, he's extremely precautionary in that he gives all his patience blood thinners immediately following surgery. During surgery he also has several pumps on legs and arms to keep things circulating. He encouraged his patients to get moving as soon as possible (little by little) so that the body will begin to heal itself and reduce risk of blod clots. As far as infection, he teaches his patient's to watch for signs and is on call 24 hours afterwards should something develop. He says it's very rare.

I asked him how often he has to do revision surgery (go back and correct some stuff). He said 50% of his patients need minimal revision work. Because he doesn't like to cut a long line, there's always a chance for more revision. But this way he can see exactly what needs to be done and it's usually done with a local anesthetic and he does the procedure free of charge. That was encouraging.

One thing I didn't except was that he wanted to suture my abs together from my chest down to my pubic bone. My abs have separated significantly. He didn't have to ask if I had big babies, he knew. He said that would give me a perfectly flat tummy. He said I'd be blown away and he doesn't tell everyone that because not everyone comes in there having "done all the hard work beforehand." That made me feel good. :)

Recovery is different for everybody. But my age and health again will help me to recover quickly. He said I'd need support for a week. Then after that, I should be able to slowly get back into things. I can't pick up Fischer or Amelia for 2-3 weeks. That will be hard. Getting in and out of the car will be a challenge. But luckily I have very supportive people who are willing to help me and that means the world to me. Choosing to have an elective cosmetic surgery is not easy. I definitely feel judged by people. But my friend Monica reminded me of a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. " And this feels right to me.

So, he books out a month in advanced for surgery. I have some time to think about it if I want to do it in late April. Now it's a matter of rallying the support of my family and friends to help with my kids for a week or so. :) I feel very content in the decision. It's just a matter of when now. So, there ya have it!

I should add that even though I'm posting all this for the world to see, I'd appreciate those of you that know me personally to keep mum about it. While I'm totally open about sharing my experience, I'd like to do it semi-privately. Deal? :)

So I trotted right into my Heat class today like I owned the place. I was eager to get back to my normal regime. I did well, I hydrated earlier in the morning and was up for the challenge. Then the class began. Um, yeah, I was S L O W. I even had to take breaks in BETWEEN the water breaks. Guess my body is still recovering from sickness. But, I made it! I completed it and I'm glad I went. Finally, I told my instructor that I had had strep throat last week and that was why I was so slow. She was like "And you chose THIS class to start back?" I just replied with an eyeroll and "Yeah, I know I'm an idiot." :)

There's a new class on the schedule called Max Out 30. The description says it's circuit drills. Sounds similar to Heat. I'm very intrigued. It's only 30 mins, with an Abs & Glutes class immediately afterwards. It's 7am on Tuesdays. Tuesdays is normally my Total Body day at 4:30pm. I love total body, but I also love getting my workouts done by noon! We'll see....

Today was a good day- point wise. Here's my tracker:

Breakfast:

Lite English Muffin: 1 pt
2 tbsp Naturally More peanut butter: 3 pts
1 tbsp Sugar Free Jelly: 0 pt

Snack:

Mocha: 4 pts

Lunch:

Bowl of homemade chili: 7 pts
10 low sodium Saltienes: 2 pts
1 tbsp ff sour cream: 0 pts

Snack:

Apple: 1 pt
Some Waldorf Salad: 2 pts

Dinner:

Baked Tilapia: 2 pts
Baked Asparagus: 0 pts
Potatoes: 2 pts

Total: 24 pts
APs earned: +4 pts

20 points! Right on target!

I don't even like football! And yet I used the occasion to eat, eat, eat and eat some more. And now I feel about 4 months pregnant. Ugh.. There goes my 130's! Well, at least for a few days. I know my body. I'll appear to be able to eat all I want and then 3-4 days later my body will show it. I won't go into details, but I basically ate two bowls of chili, chips, dip, chocolate, and then topped it off with peanut M&Ms. Granted, I only had some breakfast this morning and a mocha this afternoon, but still. I should have been satisfied with a good bowl of chili and maybe 1 piece of chocolate. Now I just feel yucky.

BUT, I'm moving on! Tomorrow is Monday and my flex renew and I'm back to my old self. Wow, remember when my "old self" was a bad thing??? Anyhoo, I just took my last dose of antibiotics and now I'm ready to get back my energy. Fischer and Amelia both have school tomorrow. They leave at 9:30am with Kelle for the morning carpool run, then I pick them back up at 1:30pm. I'm free!!!!!!! I'm going to hit my Heat class at 10:45am solo. I'll, of course run to the Starbucks beforehand and load up on some caffeine. We have plenty left over chili and a stocked fridge, so no need to think about groceries. I need to get creative with what I have.

This Wednesday is Ash Wednesday and I've been thinking about what I want to fast for Lent. I'm thinking I'd like to fast alcohol and eating after 7pm. I chose both because I've noticed that alcohol is sort of a "gateway" into excess for me. Be it more alcohol, or food. It's like I get loosened up and I think- "Hey- let's eat another dinner!" And nighttime eating is almost always something that I do to fill a void of some sorts. Whether I'm bored or just stressed. So, in penitence, I'd like to abstain from those indulgences and take that time to devout to God in some way. Be it silence, prayer, reading my Bible or just simply learning to do without something I want. *gasp!*

I forgot to mention, but my tummy tuck consultation was rescheduled due to my sickness last week. It's been moved to this Tuesday at 1pm! I'm very excited to speak with that particular doctor. I have another one I'm going to meet with too at some point. I've done my research and I'm the sure the poor man is going to think I'm a little firecracker. I promise to update how things go.

I'd love to make it to a meeting tomorrow. I think I could make the 12 o'clock one. It would be eating up all my "alone" time while the kids are at school, but then again- getting to a Heat class and a WW meeting does "feed" me. Besides, I'd end up spending any spare time cleaning. And who wants to do that???

Hey there! Feeling better today, but still have this nagging lethargic feeling. All the coffee in the world isn't really helping, so I'm trying to hydrate and live through the next few days when my antibiotics run out.

My goal today is to go on a walk with the kids. I wish there was a Starbucks close by to walk to. The nearest one is 2.5 miles and there is not good "trail' to get there by. The local coffee shop Octane is only 1.5 miles and the there are sidewalks the whole way, but I hate their coffee! I'm such a snob.

I went to a women's event at our church. It was great. My friend Katherine heads it up and she does a lovely job. The food spread was amazing. Bagels, brunchy casseroles, fruit, veggies and cookies. I ate a valentine's theme cookie from Publix. Oh my God it tasted homemade. Probably 5 pts too. The icing was delish. Or maybe it because my taste buds are waking up and I'm discovering food again.

I haven't done so well the last few days. Only because I haven't written down points or really paid too much attention. Mostly because I don't have a big appetite. But I'm slowing gaining back focus along with my taste buds.

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl. We're having a friend over and we're going to enjoy it semi quietly. I'll make some yummy food. Still have to meet with the husband on that one. We have to come up with some yummy things.

Yeah, so antibiotics are my friends, but they make me sooooooooo tired! I cannot wake up! I had every intention of going to my 9:15am Heat class and I literally could not move. I felt like I took Benadryl. So, I took my body's cue and didn't go. I felt sort of guilty, but I did just a nasty bout of Strep and I need to slowly move back into activity. I'm thinking I'll take the kids on a walk tomorrow and let that be the beginning of my activity. :)

Fischer went to school and Amelia and I headed out to find something fun to do. I, of course, wanted to hit the Starbucks quickly since I could not wake up. So we did that and got a nice call from my friend Melanie to come over and play. Her daughter Lydia is 3 months younger than Amelia. So, the estrogen soared at Melanie's house and we let the girls play and we gabbed. Chocolate was involved. But just one piece!

Then I headed to my carpool duties and promptly came home to nap. *yawn* Thankfully Ed came home and took Fischer out so I got a good nap in. I woke up around 5pm and Fischer and I had a "date" and we went to Target and Chick-fil-A. I got a sweet tea (again, trying to wake myself up here) and ate half a chicken salad sandwich. In addition to making me sleeping, the antibiotics are also curbing my hunger. SCORE!

Morning scale reading : 139.4 lbs!