Sunday, March 15, 2009

So Frustrated

The scale is all over the place.  Yesterday it said 170 lbs.  Today it said 174.5 lbs???!!  WTH?  I cannot break the 170's and it's driving me MAD!  I feel myself getting frustrated and mad at myself.  I feel like I'll do good all week and then the last day of the week I eat too much and screw the week up.  I've been increasing my exercise and walked or ran every day this week.  But I just can't get through this plateau.  :(

I have to admit I have not written down everything exactly and I've been slacking on portion control.  I got through phases where it's easy to be OP and then it feels so, so hard.  And the last time I lost weight I was so focused that being OP was truly easy for me.  But I'm just struggling to get back in that zone.  I don't want to feel fat anymore.  I don't want to feel so enslaved to food like I do now.  I just want some consistency and control.  And I know that I have the power to do that for myself.  I just need to focus.  I feel good about my exercise.  I've been really consistent with that and enjoy it.  So I need to come up with a plan.

Last week I tried to divide 5 mini meals into 5 pts a piece.  It worked well the first few days and then there were times when i needed to spend more at one meal and conserve at another and it just messed me up.  That and I can tell that I do better OP when I get sleep.  And Shepherd has been all over the place with sleep lately.  Not that that's an excuse, but that's just where I'm at.  

Despite the lack of movement on the scale, I do feel different in my jeans.  They are looser.  So that's a positive.  

Here's my tracker so far today:

Luna: 4 pts
Coffee with cream, sugar: 2 pts

Salmon burger on a whole wheat bun: (8 pts)
Green beans: 2 pts (olive oil)
Potatoes: 4 pts
Sips of coke: 1 pt

So, 21 pts so far

Dinner will be around 10 pts and then maybe a snack.  I'm going to skip exercise tonight and substitute sleep.  I'm so tired.  

Tomorrow I'm planning on running again with the man child.  


candace said...

Hang in there Jen...
it's the journey sister - enjoy the journey. Your boy won't be this small forever and the last pounds from pregnancy WILL come off. They will.

Nan said...

I have gone back to WW, after being a lifetimer 6 years ago. I haven't been back to my goal since I got pregnant the first time (i have two kids now) and made a committment to get it off for the last time. I went back and was 26 pounds over my goal and 16 pounds heavier than the first time I joined and made lifetime! I had to take the scale out of my house because of those crazy weight fluctuations...they were making mehate myself! Just a though for you. I have a dear friend I am doing WW with this time and it helps. If I could quit sabbotaging myself...She asked me a hard question was good so I thought I would share. She asked "What self-talk am I doing that is causing me to fail?" In other words, what lies am I believing that preent me from being successful? Tough "food" for thought. God bless and good luck!

Jen Gordon said...

Thanks ladies!

Candace- you are so right. I need to be "in the now."

Nan- negative self talk is all over the place with me. I'm going to take a break from the scale too. :)

Anonymous said...

I read your blog often and just want to encourage you. I had my third baby a couple of years ago and it was harder the third time to take off the weight.

I sat at 167 lbs. for about 4 weeks. I was about to lose my mind and then realized I needed to get back to the basics- journaling, water, 5 servings or fruits and veggies, etc. It made all the difference.

You can do it! We're rooting for you! And I agree with the others take a break from your scale. :)

candace said...

Oh and I meant to say are a beautiful woman Jen.
Whether a size 4 or whatever size you are in now - it doesn't are beautiful...and your body has carried and borne 3 babies - that is beautiful and a feat.
I just wanted to encourage you to focus on the "good" things about your is strong, healthy body that can care for your babies and it serves you well.
Be encouraged friend.

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