Had weigh in last night and I'm down 2.8 lbs! Yah! Now my stupid gain from last week is vanished! (Or at least that's how I see it. LOL) 145.6 lbs!

I talked to my leader about these last 10 lbs and why it seems so hard to get off. And when I say it's "hard" to get off- I mean the lack of determination setting in. She said she struggled with her last 10 lbs too. She said: "You look fine and you feel fine, so you don't really sweat the little bite here and there." I had to laugh because that's so true for me. She encouraged me to drink more water and really track my points. And, of course, use Weekly Allowance pts only on occassion. I think that's doable. Once I reach goal, I get to increase my points anyway to maintainance, so I think I can handle "buckling down" for a while. I have to laugh because I'm so protective of my weekly allowance pts. They are why I stuck with WW so long. :)

I moved back to evening meetings last night because it's been getting more difficult to take Amelia with me to the morning meetings. She wants to play and I'm super paranoid about her making too much noise. :) I was happy to go back to evening meetings because there are a few girls I miss seeing every week. I was looking forward to seeing them. One of them came in late to the meeting. Finally as we were having an open discussion, she spoke up. She has lost 40 lbs and looks amazing, but still wants to lose more and feels like she's lost all her "mojo" for the rest of the journey. She began to cry and my heart just went out to her. She pretty much said what we all think and don't always say. Those of us who are so used to being on "diets" and failing have this fear of repeating the past and getting "fluffy" again. I was so glad she shared. I think she felt silly crying, but it was like a breathe of fresh air. She was being real. I don't think anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight has done so without bumps along the way. Even big bumps. I was so glad she made it to a meeting. That alone is a HUGE step when you're feeling so "off." I talked to her afterwards and just tried to let her know she wasn't alone and we've all been there. Of course we'll go through seasons of NO determination. I think I hit patches of that along the way. I think difference is that I had determined that "quiting was not an option" (as my leader says every week). So even if I have a bad couple weeks, I have to keep focusing forward and eventually I get back on track. But, as a former diet hopper, it's hard to come back after "failure." You feel like you've blown yet another diet and you'll be fat forever. I can't tell you how many times I had that horrible feeling. I can't totally pin point what made the difference this time other than learning how to forgive myself and never quit. Granted, my journey is by no means over. Maintaining this is going to be another layer of challenges. But, that's life. You learn to work with challenges.

I'm happy to say there is NOTHING on the agenda today. I might go to the gym this afternoon, but I might not. LOL Because I live in a house built in 1932, it's currently 57 degrees inside. The hardwoods are ice cold. Ugh. We have central heat and air, but poor insulation and I'm just cold as can be. I have myself and the kids double layered. I might try to get out somewhere just to get warm. I'm ready for Spring!

Last night was BAD. Real bad. I did so well at first. Ate an entire carton of grape tomatoes. Made my 2 pt pizza and had 1 beer. And I had 4 pts left to have two more beers. Then the "mind set" took over. Eat, eat, eat. It started out as a chip here, some dip there. Then came the oreos. They were my downfall. I ate so many that I felt sick. I was in "horde" mode. Ya know, like I'll NEVER have a chance to eat Oreos again, so I had better eat up. Ridiculous!

I don't know what got into me. I can think of a stressful discussion Ed and I had that afternoon, but really that's just another excuse. Truth is, I caved. This must be why people have such a hard time with the last 10 lbs. I feel good, I feel thin, so I allow myself more indulgences. I think that's it. Good news is that I've done this for so long that my body reacted to the overeating by making me sick. My body has been in "clean out" mode. (TMI, I know) So, maybe in some sick way, that's a blessing. lol

This morning I got my butt out of bed and went to the gym. Did 3 miles! My friend Monica came with me and we both were so glad we went. It was so cold leaving the house, but there is just nothing like running first thing in the morning. It really sets the mood for my day and makes me feel so good.

It's Monday and a new week for me. Flex renewed and there are no more "events" to plan for, so I'm hanging onto those Flex points like it's my retirement savings. I'm sick of living "paycheck to paycheck" with my Flex pts. lol :)

I'm going to weigh in this evening. I'll report results later. :)

Added my daily tracker:

Breakfast:
Nonfat, no whip Mocha= 3 pts
2 clemintines= 1 pt
lite string cheese= 1 pt

Lunch:
1 cup 3 bean chili= 5 pts
1 pc Light Flat Out bread= 0pts

Snack:
ff yogurt with 1/4 cup Fiber One and some ff cool whip= 2pts
1 cup strawberries= 1 pts
100 snack pack= 2 pts

Dinner:
Subway 6" Turkey Sub with veggies, mustard, lite mayo and vinegar= 6pts
1 package Sour Creme and Onion Baked Lays= 3 pts
WW caramel bar= 1 pt

Run 3 miles= +3 pts

Total= 22 pts

Well, I did well last night. I had one glass of wine and just ordered appetizers and a salad to eat. I'm sure I didn't spend all my points, but it's hard to figure exactly how many I ate. I'm just going to assume I ate all my flex and call it a day!

Today we went to church and then this evening we're having friends over for the Super Bowl. I'm making a bunch of food I'm not going to eat. LOL Baked Bre, chips and dip, cokes, nachos. The one thing I can and will eat is the veggies of the veggie tray my friend is bringing. I also bought some Michelob Ultra (2 pts a bottle) so that I can take part in the "beer ritual" of football. Ha ha. I hate beer...

Here's my daily tracker so far. I'll include my "planned" eating for tonight:

Breakfast:
Banana (I was busy and had to run out the door)= 2 pts
Coffee

Lunch:
Willy's Chicken salad with veggies, chicken, black beans, salsa and 2 tbsp sour cream= 7pts
Diet coke

Snack:
Mocha= 3pts

Dinner:
Veggies=0 pts
FF ranch=1 pt
**Jen's 2 pt pizza = 2 pts
3 beers= 6 pts

Total= 21 pts

***Recipe for 2 pt pizza,,,,I live on these when I need to fill up, but eat low pts. I saute' a ton of veggies every week (onions, bell peppers, yellow squash, zuchini, with spices) and keep it all in a tupperware container in the frig to add to meals. This is what I top my pizza with.

1 Light Flat Out flatbread (8g fiber)= 0pts
2 spoonfuls tomato paste= 0pts
Veggie Sautee'=0pts
1/4 cup part skim mozzerella=2 pts
Spices:
Garlic powder
Minced onion
Onion powder
Basil
Oregano
Salt
Pepper

I love this pizza! I sprinkle it with hot sauce and pour a big cup of water to go with it. It's great!

More Pics: Progression shot. I love these because I can see the real progress. YAH!

Updated Pics!




Took these this evening before going out to friend's birthday dinner. :) I'm roughly 144.8 lbs (according to my scale this morning). I'm actually surprised how thin I look in the profile shot. It's weird when you're so used to being "fluffy," seeing yourself thin.

I have 22 pts left for tonight. I have 14 daily pts left and 8 flex. I'm not going to drink (to reduce pts) and just going to have some small indulgences. I'm looking forward to getting out! :)

I met up with a friend today and ran a little over 3 miles. We ran through the city and boy was the wind harsh. It would be warm in the sun and then abruptly change as we went around buildings and got into the shade. It's hard to run against wind!

Anyway, I run again tomorrow.

Friday- Feb 2nd's Daily Tracker

Yesterday I was so busy I forgot to post my daily tracker. I switched the kid's rooms around and cleaned out a ton of stuff and the day got ahead of me.

Here's what I ate:

Breakfast:
Lite string cheese= 1 pt
Clementine= 0 pts
Tall nf, no whip Mocah= 3 pts

Lunch:
1 Can white potatos with seasoning= 4 pts
2 rolls= 2 pts

Snack:
Special K bar= 2pts
handful of goldfish= 2 pts (?)

Dinner:
1 cup hot n sour soup= 2pts
Fried "noodle" in soup= 1 pt
4 pcs california sushi roll=3 pts

Dessert:
Smart Ones Mississippi Mud Pie= 3 pts

Total: 22 pts!

(I'm pretty sure I earned at least 1 AP for all the work I did with the rooms yesterday, but I figured I'd just let it go since I've over done it a little bit on food lately)

I'm back in Atlanta and it's been a long day.

Daily Tracker:

Breakfast:
WW muffin= 3 pts
fruit salad= 1 pt

Snack on plane:
2 shortbread waffers= 2pts

Lunch:
Chick-fil- A chicken sandwhich= 9 pts
Med Waffle fry=7 pts

Dinner:
Veggie Stir Fry= O pts
2 rolls= 2 pts
sf, ff chocolate pudding= 1 pt

Total: 25 pts.

I know I said I wasn't going to dip into my flex anymore until I had too, but I forgot about the fruit salad and shortbread waffers I had earlier in the day during all the travel. But, thankfully I remembered it after dinner. I still have 8 felx left. So I'm feeling ok. I wad dying for something "bad" for lunch, so I had it. Must have been the stress from flying with the two kids in an ice storm!!! lol

The only "obstacle" this week is Saturday. I have a women's event at church I'm going to and the theme is "pizza." There will be a million pizzas calling my name. I'm bringing fruit pizza. Don't let the name decieve you, it's not good for you. My plan is to basically skip the eating part. Fill up beforehand and just have coffee or something. I don't normally do that, but I'm going out later that night to a friend's birthday dinner and I'd much rather spend the points there. It's at a place that does fondue and wine. The plan is to eat something beforehand, but I will have some wine (2 glasses max) and maybe some chocolate fondue with fruit. I need to check out the menu and start planning. I WILL be successful this week! I have to remember that I don't have to miss out on the moment by giving into food when I'm reallly not hungry. That's a major issue for me. Eating has become such an "event" in my mind. I'm slowly conquering it, but that mindset still creeps up and bites me in the ass from time to time. If I can just step back and realize that pizza is just pizza and it will always be there if I really want it, then I can get past the "breakdown" moment.

I sat down this evening with my WW cookbooks and came up with a "game plan" for meals this week. I took note of what I had at hand in my pantry and frig and tried to be sensible about it. I tend to buy things like canned artichokes and let them sit in my pantry for 2 months without using them. I'm tired of being watseful and decided to buy as little as possible at the store tomorrow and make the most out of what I can. I came up with some good, point friendly dinners.

I'm sooooo glad to be back. Ed was trying to be economical and kept the thermostat at 62 while we were gone. So when we got home the house was freezing! Mind you- we have a house that was built in 1932 that has little insulation and all hardwoods. I felt like I walked into a cold warehouse. :) The kids and I got in a hot bath to warm up. lol It was funny. But it worked. It was so comforting to see Ed again. After the bath, the kids napped and Ed and i just layed on the couch with hot coffee.

It's 8:27pm (to be exact) here and my eyes are burning for sleep. Tomorrow it's back to my early morning gym runs. I'm looking forward to it. I'd like to break the 4 mile mark.

I'm making an effort to eat more fruit!

Today's daily tracker:

Breakfast:
Coffee with Splenda and ff cream= 0 pts
1 lite string cheese= 1pt
Low Sugar Quacker Oatmeal= 2 pts
Smoothie= 2 pts (1/2 banana, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries)

Lunch:
1 cup Turkey Chili= 5pts
1 cup green beans= 0 pts
1 cup canned whole potatoes= 2pts

Snack:
non fat, no whip Mocha= 3pts

Dinner:
Grilled Chicken Breast= 3 pts
1/2 green beans= 0 pts
1/2 sauteed zucchini= 0 pts

Dessert:
2 servings diet soda cake w/ ff cool whip= 4 pts

Total: 22 pts (Daily Target)

Confession time.

I think I've been in denial about my eating habits the last few weeks. I've been sneaking in more food than I should and have gotten lazy about counting EVERY pt that enters my mouth. So, when I weighed in last night at my mom's WW center, I wasn't too surprised to see I'm up 3.6 lbs. Granted, I was wearing jeans (which I never do), I weighed in after I ate, and I'm STILL pms-ing like a mad woman. But, since my mantra is "no more excuses," I can't really fall back on that. I've been over eating my points plain and simple. Not binging, but over eating by 4-5 pts every other day. This is what I did the other times I said WW didn't work. I didn't really do the plan, I made exceptions left and right. Well, DUH! That's why it didn't work. I get so annoyed with people that don't really count every point and then complain they haven't lost. And look what I'm doing... So, here I am. Admitting that I've slipped and ready to get back on board. After all, I'm so close to goal.

A few "holes" in my plan lately:

1. I'm counting my eggs before they hatch. I spend my flex faster than they renew. It's a bit overbaord. I'm a huge advocate of using your flex to curb your cravings. They are there to allow you the things you want. But, I do think I've started a habit of devouring flex in one or two days and then trying to reign myself in the rest of the week (desperately awaiting for my flex to renew). My goal is to hold on to my flex as long as possible. And only dip into them if I have a special event. I have more than enough choices and daily points to treat myself.

2. I'm letting myself get too hungry. I'm not eating enough protein. I've been eating a lot of those WW muffins lately. And while they're great and only 3 pts- they aren't very filling. If I had lite string cheese (1 pt) and some fruit I'd be more satisfied and stay fuller longer. So I need to get more protein in and make healthier choices.

3. EAT MORE FRUIT! I'm awful at this. I can get my veggies in, no problem. It's fruit. I tend to want to horde my points for treats and not spend them on nutritious foods lately. I need fruit. They're full of antioxidents. I need them. (Notice I'm trying to talk myself into this-LOL). One thing I love is a smoothie. I can add 1/2 a banana and 1/2 cup of frozen blueberries, and 1/2 cup skim milk and be satisfied for 3 pts. I'm not sure why I don't. So, in an effort to form a new habit, I'm going to start planning new breakfasts. No more carby, fluffy stuff. Whole foods. Smoothies, string cheese, nuts... That's my new goal.

Hell, if I can run 3 miles, I can form a new breakfast habit! LOL

********update********

I've decided to post my daily tracker to keep me honest. Here's what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast:
WW Muffin= 3 pts
Tall, non-fat, no whip Mocha= 3pts

Lunch:
6 inch Turkey Sub with lite mayo=6 pts

Snack:
1 cup fresh raspberries=1pt

Dinner:
1 cup turkey chili= 5 pts
1 toasted Flat-Out flatbread= 1pts

Went to Pool hall with sis:
3 Michelob Ultras= 6 pts

Total=27 pts (dipped 5 into flex)


So- there you have it. I'm at the mercy of all of you to keep me accountable. Well, and myself. :)

Hola from Raleigh, NC. I haven't had a chance to blog since I got here. We're doing well. Kids are in heaven as "Ju Ju" is spoiling them beyond belief.

On the WW front, I'm doing really well for being out of my own environment. My mom and step dad are doing WW too, so that makes it much easier. It's funny because I've been teaching my mom all the "secret" foods I make that are low in points. She didn't know there were WW products at her local Super Target. I went out on my own to stock up on some WW friends foods and she was so excited the WW's made muffins. lol

I did go over by 3 pts today. We were out all day and I think I got home and just wanted to stuff my mouth. I made my staple 2 pt pizza and had a little WW cake. I was still hungry so I made ANOTHER pizza and ate ANOTHER little cake. EEEEK! But I suppose my "binge" could have been worse. I won't sweat 3 pts.

Speaking of sweating...

I ran 2.5 miles yesterday on my mom's treadmill. Today I walked 20 mins, did the bike 10 mins and lifted weights. I have a feeling there's something wacky with the treadmill because it was hard and I felt like I was running much faster than what it registered as. I think it's stuck on a slight incline too. Maybe it's all in my head, but it was hard!! I want to run outside, but it's really cold here (suppose to be 19 degrees tomorrow). My mom's neighborhood is so flat, it would be perfect. We'll see...

Today my mom, my sister and I went shopping. I actually tried on bathing suits and wasn't depressed afterwards! lol I didn't buy one because I wanted to get to goal before I buy it. That should happen in the next 8 weeks or so. Anyway, it was fun shopping without that nagging "ick" feeling about my body. Sure, I wish my tummy were tighter and flatter, but ya know what? My ass looks damn good in the jeans I bought and that makes me happy!

Monday I'm going with my mom to her WW meeting. She happens to weigh in on Mondays too. I'm desperately waiting for my Flex to renew (also happening on Monday). I want to splurge a bit while I'm here. I'm really craving a brownie Sunday. Waiting for my "lady friend" to rear her ugly head so that I can get passed all these cravings!

Will report back after weigh in. Wish me luck!

Well, the kids and I woke up sick Sunday morning. We're all snotty and coughy. No good. I've been popping Vit C like no one's business. I opted not to run yesterday because I didn't want to compromise my immune system. It's Monday and I'm feeling better, but not sure I'm up for running. I'll probably resume my early morning runs tomorrow.

I made a really yummy, low point dinner last night. Spaghetti Squash Lasagna. I got the recipe off Roni's site (www.weightwatchen.com). Only 2 pts per serving and excellent! If you want a great low point meal, go to her site under "recipes" and check it out.

Today I actually have a weigh in! I have no idea what to expect. I feel like I've slighly gained or maintained. I don't know if I'm gaining muscle from running and weights or what. But my scale doesn't want to go below 146. We'll see. It's also close to my monthly friend, so that could explain some water retention. I've certainly had the munchies lately. :) I tell you what- these last 10 lbs to goal are really hard.

Thursday I'm flying to my mom's house with both kids. Should be fun. She has a treadmill, so I can run there or visit her local YMCA. I'll be there for a week. I'm not too worried about staying OP. My mom finally (after I've been trying to convince her) joined WW's and started meetings. So eating shouldn't be too challenging. But I know better than to let my guard down, so I'll need to plan. I'll miss yet another meeting next Monday due to being out of town. How does life get so busy?

**********update**********

I weighed in and I'm down 1.6 lbs!!! I'm at 144.8lbs. Holy cow! This means I'm less than 10 lbs from goal. *deep breathes, deep breathes*

Happy Saturday to all! My amazing husband let me sleep in until 9:30am this morning and I cannot tell you how great I feel. My poor son was up and down during the night with a stuffy nose, so I was pretty tired. Sleeping until 9:30am felt like sleeping til' noon. Does that make me old?

Ed played football the first half of the day and then we did the "kid swap" for the second half while I ran errands. Our neighbors became grandparents to a sweet litttle girl and I wanted to get her something cute. To Old Navy it is!! They had such a tremendous sale that I got the baby some stuff and my little girl some stuff. All for under $20. Pretty cool.

We're having some good friends over for dinner tonight. I'm making filet mignon, baked potatos and salad. It's a meat and potatos kinda night. Luckily it's 4pm and I still have 12 pts left. So I may just have to put some butter on my potato tonight! lol

I realized I haven't "reported" any weigh ins. That's because every freaking holiday falls on my weigh in days lately and my center is closed. Xmas, New Year's Day, MLK day.... And because I'm strapped for time and I love my leader, I just wait for the next weigh in. My scale this morning said 147. My last weigh in at my WW center had me at 146.8. So, we'll see. I'll weigh in on Monday.

Today I took a rest day from running and then I'm running with a friend tomorrow. She wants me to run a 5K with her in Feb and we're going to run that course tomorrow. I've been feeling a little under the weather today (sinus stuff) so I hope it doesn't affect my run. Wish me luck!

Well, got up and ran 2 miles this morning. I really, really, REALLY didn't want to get out of bed. Fischer crawled in bed with us around 6:45am and all I wanted to do was snuggle with him and sleep. At 6:55am Ed says: "Aren't you going?" And I replied: "I don't wanna!!!!" He then told me to get my butt out the door. This is why I love him. He's good for me.

The run was a lot less slugglish than my last run. That was nice. During my treadmill runs I like to watch the news to catch up on everything I'm completely unaware of. This time I traded CNN for Mtv. I know...shameful. But I have to say, watching Beyonce can really make a girl pick up her pace! lol It was a change...

Tonight my friend Karyn and I are going to take a yoga class at the Y. Our sweet husbands are going to order pizza for the kids and feed them while we have some yoga time. I'm excited about that. I love group yoga and I love Karyn! :P I took a class when I was pregnant with Amelia and it was theraputic. Much different than doing a dvd.

Today's agenda includes a Farmer's Market trip for some fresh produce. We're out and I'm sick of crappy produce from our local grocers. Plus, Ed loves the hummus they make at the Farmer's Market. So cheap, yet so amazingly fresh! Fischer is at school, so as soon as Amelia wakes up from her morning nap- we're off!

I plan to do another run between now and Sunday. Preferably at the trail I went to last weekend. It was so peaceful. Depends on the weather.

Happy Weekend to all! Remember: if you cheat, you're only cheating yourself. Stay OP and get thin! :)

Ran 2.5 miles this morning. It was a very sluggish run. I really wanted to do 3 miles, but I felt so heavy. I finally put it together that my "lady business" is due next week. That would explain my sluggishness. PMS is just the bomb yo!

Anyway, feeling good. I've made up my mind to set a mileage goal each week. I'm going to start with 10 miles a week. I figure that's reasonable since I'm able to do 2 pretty easily and working into 3 miles for some run. I can break it up however I want. One of my running buddies pointed out that I can also break up my runs in one day too. So if I can only do 2 miles in the morning- I can always run another mile later that day with the kids in the stroller or something. Good point.

Today has been good so far. Hit the gym, took Fischer to school, stopped by Target and now I'm showered and dressed (all before 1pm! LOL). I have to leave here in 20 mins to pick him back up. Why does time pass so quickly like that?? Tonight I have some last minute plans to see a band with my friend. Camera Obscura. Love them. Way excited about seeing them.

Well, today was Snack Fest 2007. I dipped into my Flex by 16 pts!!! But, I didn't break plan, I just can't eat like that every day this week. My day seemed thrown off when I pulled into the YMCA this morning, only to find out it was closed. MLK day. Totally forgot the Y would be closed. So, there ya have it. :)

So, I decided to do a 5K a little earlier than I had planned. Since I'm capable of running 3 miles (not very fast, mind you) I decided to push it up to Feb. My friend asked me to run a 5K with her, so I thought: what the heck! So that's what I'm doing Feb 10th. :)

I have to say, I'm liking my "inner athlete" these days.

I've had a bad run the last few days. It all started Friday when I set my alarm to wake up early to run at the gym. It malfunctioned to a low buzz, which I did not hear. (I promise) Then I got two last minute invites to go have some drinks with friends Friday and Saturday night. Friday night I had no points left and then I had 2 drinks (4pts) AND a veggie burger (roughly 5 pts). Then Saturday I had 7 pts left to spend and had 4 drinks (6 pts) and a steak salad. Luckily it was with a horseraddish vinegarette that was sparse, so I'm guessing it was 6 pts. So the tally is 12 pts over this week. I haven't done that in a while. In addition to going over, I didn't make it to the gym to run in 2 days because I was so tired from being out late. Vicious cycle. I think alcohol impairs my ability to stay OP. lol

But, today is a new day. No sense in getting down about my mishaps. I will say that in the past I probably would have made poorer choices. I definitely would have gone for the fries or nachos. But I stuck to lower point items. So that's a plus, if any.

I'm breaking the cycle of no gym visits today by going to the gym! Ed let me sleep in today until 10:30 today. I needed it after last night's "girl fest." I feel rested and ready to do 3 miles today. :)

This week I'm gonna get back to my roots. Time to start reigning myself in and prioritize stayong on plan again. While, I've had losses, I think I've treaded into dangerous territory with some old habits. Impulsive eating and drinking. Needs to stop. So, there it is. My confession. I'm counting on all of you to hold me accountable, okay? !! I can take it, I've got my "big girl" panties on and ready for someone to tell it like it is. :P


*******updated********

I went to a trail near me and ran 3 miles! It was really, really hard. I walked for 60 seconds once to give myself a break. But other than that, I ran. YAH!!

Holy Mother of Jesus! This is the worst pic of me ever I think. 9 months pregnant. My friend sent it to me in lieu of my weight loss. Oh man.

I did it! I ran 3 miles! And the weirdest thing is that it wasn't as hard as I expected. ? Maybe it was a mind thing. I set my alarm for 6am sharp (yawn) and after hitting snooze 2 times, I got my butt out of bed and went to the Y. I did 3 miles in roughly 38 mins. Yah! That was a major goal for me. :)

Today will be a fun day. I'm on carpool duty for our preschool group of friends so I gotta get a shower in and get dressed. I plan on getting a nice, hot mocha after I drop the kids off. Thank God there is a Starbucks drive thru right next to the church. Tonight we have dinner plans with some friends. We got a sitter for the kids and I'm chowing tonight! We're going to OK Cafe. (www.OKCafe.com) This is one of my all time favorite places to eat. I already went to their website and decided on my meal. 1 bowl of brunswick stew (5 pts), 1 side of squash souffle (6 pts and totally worth it), 1 side steamed cabbage and a diet coke! I saved my Flex points to splurge tonight. :)

Nothing major to report. Stay OP is MUCH easier when the holidays are over, that's for sure.

Side by side comparison. (I'm addicted to those!)

Down 4.2 lbs! I guess running does pay off huh? It's been awhile since I've posted pics. I'm really noticing a difference in my legs. I have skinny legs again!!!! YAH!

Me at 184 (June 2006) I wish I had take pics of me at my heaviest, but we all know how that goes!


Me this morning weighing in at 146 lbs:

*yawn*

Well, I woke up at the butt crack of dawn (as my friend Tara would say) and went to the Y. Ran 2 miles. The first 10 mins were hard. Then I felt really good and could have gone 2.5 miles, but I was on a time crunch to be home in time for Ed to leave for a meeting so I chickened out. But it's getting easier and easier to run long. I'm going to start a weight training regimen on my off days. Building muscle helps endurance. I need that.

Been OP all week. No exceptions! I bought a pair of size 6 jeans at Old Navy a couple weeks ago. They were snug (too snug) so I've been trying them on the last few days to see if they are wearable yet. I got them on today! For some reason a size 6 at The Gap is almost loose on me, but from Old Navy, they're tight. Who knows? I suppose Old Navy caters to the young crowd, thus making sizes off. Kinda sad now that I think about it... Anyway- glad to reach that little goal.

Fischer is at preschool. Amelia is napping and I'm finallly sitting on my lap top and vegging! I have a friend coming over to hang out. And another friend coming over to drop her little baby off for me to watch so she can have some alone time. I remember doing the same thing when Fischer was a baby. If I got just 1 hour alone I was good for the rest of the day. So I'm reciprocating the favor gladly! It doesn't hurt that the baby is really cute. :)

Plan today is to lay low and get cozy at home. It's raining (though actually quite warm) outside.

My scale this morning said 147.6. That was me buck naked after a shower. LOL Here's to hoping it will be close to that at weigh in on Monday!

Cheers!

Ah......Happy New Year!

Well, I mostly stuck to my New Year plans. There was a little over indulgence New Year's Eve, but I handled it well. Since my Flex renewed Monday- I just started over. It was too confusing trying to transfer what I ate Sunday night and so I just started fresh.

One thing I'm proud of is that I've continued my running plan. I've gotten up to 2 miles and I'm getting more comfortable with it. This morning I woke up at 6:45am and headed to the Y to run. WITHOUT ANY KIDS IN TOW!!!!. I think (as much as it hurts getting up) that that is the best time to do it. It was actually nice getting up and having some "me" time. I did my run and then had some time to spare to go to Starbucks and get a mocha. And it's helped me feel more "awake." Studies show it's really beneficial for your metabolism. An early morning work out boosts your metablolism and keeps it going all day. That's encouraging!

Tomorrow I have the same plan to rise early. :)

I've opted not to weigh in this week. Since my official weigh in day was Monday (New Year's Day) my Weight Watchers facility was closed. So I'm waiting. Especially since I ate a lot Sunday. I just didn't want to be discouraged. But next Monday I'm there and I'm ready to see the results! My scale has me as maintaining so I'm not too worried.

I'm definitely seeing changes in my body. My legs are getting more toned. My jeans are fitting differently. It's really cool to see results in your body, even if your weight lingers a little.

:)

Here's my little girl in her sweet Christmas dress. One thing weight loss has afforded me is being present in the pictures I take of my kids.

Ok, I had another bad night last night. I over ate. Fischer had his friend Isaac spend the night last night. It was his first spend the night and we made cookies and popcorn. I was doing well, point wise. I even did good when we went out to dinner right before. I got a bowl of black bean soup (only 2 pts) and had 1 glass of wine (2 pts). I had 6 points left over to treat myself. I had even run 2 miles yesterday so I had some APs to help me. But then I just started shoveling food into my mouth randomly. I was feeling so "snacky." I ate so much popcorn I felt so bloated by the end of the night. *sigh*

I think I've allowed myself too many excuses lately. When I first started this weight loss thing I was done with excuses. And I think in the last month I've loosened up and let myself slide a bit. I really need to stop. I have plenty of room to treat myself within the program. The holidays are over and I'm getting back to business. My old self probably would have waited until after New Year's Day (since I'm having a few out of town friends over on New Year's Eve and two events on New Year's Day to go to). But I'm not putting it off one more meal. If I want to see goal, I need to focus. So, I'm planning out my big challenges this weekend.

New Year's Eve:

Start my day off with a run.

Church

Since I have control of what I'll serve, I'm going to put some stuff out that I can eat without going off program. Here's what I've decide on:

Shrimp cocktail (really low in points)
Veggie tray
Fruit
Baked Bre (not low in points- but something I promised someone)
Beer and wine!

Keep my breakfast and lunch really low on points to help afford me some extra points at night. My Weekly Allowance points don't renew until MONDAY!!!! So, I'm forced to work with only my daily points. But I can do it.

New Year's Day: (WA points renew, thank God!!)

Again, stick to low point breakfast. I really love the South Beach breakfast wraps. They are only 1 pt! I'll have to pick up more of those.

1st event: I'm sure it will be really yummy and tempting. My game plan is to stick to protein and veggies. I will not, I repeat I will not over load on carbs and sugary snacks. I'll fill up one tiny plate and no "seconds."

2nd event: I know it's going to be pizza and beer. My game plan is 2 beers and 1 pc of pizza. Period. That will work out to roughly 11-13 pts.

So that's my plan and I'm sticking to it !

Up 2.3 lbs! Can't say I'm shocked. I'm not really upset about it because the holidays are over and I know I won't face those kind of challenges for a while. Plus, I weighed in right after eating lunch, with jeans. I never do that. My WW scale at home has me at 148-ish. So, I think I maintained. I'll get in another weigh in next Tuesday. This time- go on an empty stomach and don't wear jeans! :)

On a fitness note: I've been kicking butt with runing! I've gone every day this week-2 miles a day. It feels so good to run. Though, my run last night was a little harder than the other runs this week. But from what I've read- that's normal. Ed got me an ipod shuffle to take on my runs. Light weight and easy to clip on anything.

Because of my binge on Christmas day I've been really careful all this week to not go over my daily points at all. And with running I get an extra 2pts to supplement my daily points so that's nice. It's caused me to get a little more creative with my meals and snacks. I went grocery shoppping one night this week BY MYSELF (love that!) and saw the South Beach diet morning wraps. They're in the frozen section. 1 wrap is only 1 pt because it's packed wth 15 g of fiber!! They're really good and have enough protien to keep you full. That's my new favorite low pt breakfast. Because I'm obsessed with my 3pt mocha from Starbucks- it's helps to have a low pt breakfast. That way I can have a "treat" later that day.

Well, today is Friday and I'm going to take it easy and just walk 2 miles today at the Y. I'm not sure when I'll go. Maybe I'll just walk in my neighborhood. Lord knows my dog would appreciate that. Then again, Fischer is pretty restless today so maybe we'll go to Kangazoom (indoor jump playground). We got some passes for Christmas. Ameila loves the infant play area. What to do....what to do.....

Get fitted for running shoes!

I had a full day yesterday committed to running. Ed stayed at home with Amelia and I took Fischer out with me to get fitted for some running shoes. I must have tried on 10 pairs. I didn't realize how important it is to get fitted. A sales person at the running store (Fleet Feet) watched me run and then suggested pairs based on my step. I would have just bought any pair that looked cool had I not researched and realized you have to get fitted. And I ended up spending less money! I picked up some socks too. Apparently you should never run in cotten socks. Learn something new every day...

After buying my shoes, Fischer and I headed to the YMCA to get my membership activated (Thank you Mom for the membership gift). I got on the treadmill and ran 2 miles without walking!!! That's big for me. The treadmill is much easier than running outside. But I know I need to mix it up with both to get my body used to it. I can't complete a 5k race on a treadmill. But I can increase my indurance and strength by doing gym and outside runs. :)

Well, still haven't made it to a meeting. Maybe tonight... I need to look at a meeting schedule. But I have been a very good girl the last two days. Stuck to the plan- not a point over. And exercised both days. Scale still says I'm 148 lbs- so maybe by the grace of God my Christmas chow fest didn't affect me too badly.

We're having some old friends over New Years Eve that are in town. SO my only challenge will be the food with that. But since I'm hosting- I can have some point friendly options.

I'm going to do my best to get to a meeting soon and post results!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

It's Chrismas evening as I'm writing. We got home about an hour ago after a whirlwind day of traveling, eating, and opening presents. The kids were so exhausted. Fischer ate sugar from 7am to 7pm. The kid was buzzed and crazed by the end of the day. I can't tell you how glad I am to be home and on my couch with my laptop- kids tucked away and out like a light, husband upstairs playing his new XBOX game that "Santa" got him for Christmas. It was a good day, even though it was busy.

Well, Christmas snuck up on me as far as making a game plan for food. I just totally forgot to really plan out what I should stick to and set limits for certain things. Perhaps I let my guard down because I had been staying OP so easily lately and had so much else going on (all of family sick, took baby to ER for RSV, and just general pre-Christmas busy-ness). Whatever the reason, I should have planned! We had two houses we "hit." The first I was a good girl. I stuck to small portion, chose wisely and didn't graze at all. The second house had more appetizer type food and less healthly choices. I started slowly, only filling up one small plate with a shrimp cocktail, some cookies and some chips.. Then, I just binged! I circled that table like a shark. I totally felt like my "old self" again. Living to eat. It was a really icky feeling. But I didn't stop there. After stuffing myself, then they brought out the pie. I had a small slice of that too. Then I went back and forth to the food table for the remainder of the time there. When we left I thought: "Thank God! It's over and I'm not eating anything else today. " Wrong. I got home and began putting things away. We were sent home with the typical goodie bag of treats. Before I knew it I ate 3 more cookies. I don't know what got into me. Luckily my weekly allowance points renewed today and I have the cushion of those extra 35 pts. But there's no telling exactly how much I ate. ?? But, I do know I'm capable of stopping it. So thank God the holiday is officially over and I can move on.

Other than that, it was a good Christmas. My family is the best.

I have weigh in at some point this week. My usual day is Monday, but since Christmas and New Year's Day falls on Mondays this year- I'll have to slip into another meeting. I'll post results. I'm most certainly going to make myself weigh in.

Run, run, run! So, I've run 3 days in a row. I have no idea how far exactly- but I'm guessing 1 mile. I'm actually impressed by that because a couple months ago I couldn't run a block, much less a mile. I ordered a book called The Complete Book of Running for Women. It arrived here this afternoon and I got a chance to skim through it. It's really motivating. And it functions sort of like a "go to" manual for women and fitness. Everything from beginning to run, menstrual cycles, body image, kind of shoes to wear, to finding "the hero within" (giggle). It really does touch on women issues. What I like about it is that it teaches you the practicals like technique and what to wear, how to breathe, ete. But it challenges you to love running. To resurrect the athlete within. To find solitude and rejuvination in running. And that's something that I really need right now. I was an athlete all through childhood and in high school, but it fizzled out in adulthood. I really want to get back in touch with that athlete in me. (That sounds so "motivational speaker" ish- but it's true!) :P

Well, to heighten my new fitness focus, my mom sent me a gift certificate for a 6 month membership to the YMCA for Christmas! I can't tell you how excited I am about that. I had a membership when Fischer was a baby and I loved it. I really want to take advantage of the classes offered and the indoor pool. I'm going there tomorrow to get my membership card and reaquainted with the facility. My goal is to get a class schedule for the various aerobic activities and go to them! When I was member before I never left the treadmill. This time I need to mix it up a bit. I can't really take advantage of the childcare yet though because both my babies have colds, but as soon as they are well- I'll start a weekday routine. Another advantage is that I can go at night and early in the morning if I want to. Yipee!

Okay, I'm tired and (as always) sleep deprived. I'm going to bed!

Holy crap! Down 3.4 lbs! That puts me officially at 148.2 lbs! I'm in a new "decade!!!!" This is great. This means that even with my 1.2 gain from last week- I'm still on track and didn't lose ground. That's a big deal to me. I'm now only 13.2 lbs from my goal of 135 lbs. Wow- it's getting closer. When I started this blog at 184, 135 lbs seemed impossible. Now it feels not only possible, but close!

So, I got up and ran this morning. I woke up late and then scrambled to get dressed and out the door before the kids woke up. I got my ipod together and was off! I was actually surprised how well my body seemed to be handling it. I think I have more endurance as a lighter person. I think the last time I really tried to run I was a good 40 lbs heavier. Anyway, things were going well until my ears started throbbing. It wasn't really that cold, but my ears suddenly felt like it was cold and seemed to ache like nothing I've experienced before. So, it made me run all the more faster to get home sooner. :) Next time- ear muffs.

But- that said, I completed Day 1 of running!

I did something really stupid! I registered to run a 5k on March 11! (http://www.shamrocknroll.org/10k/) Yikes! I've been telling myself for months now that I want to start running again. Well, who am I kidding, I never truly ran before- more like walk fast while hoping a bit. But the point is that I was capable of *jogging* a very slow 5k some years ago. So- I've got roughly 2.5 months to train for this 5k. I figured this would kick my butt out of the door in the morning since I actually need some motivation. I'm starting a plan from coolrunning.com called "Couch to 5K." It basically maps out baby steps to running that 3.1 miles.

I feel so foolish registering because I have no idea how far I can actually run right now since I've not run (for real) in years. But, I know I need to up the anty a bit and get my body and fitness level up to par with my Weight Watchers success. I was so inspired by a woman who also did WW and also began running. Her site is : http://www.msteechur.info/. Truly inspiring stuff on that site! This lady signed up and just started. And she started when she was around 225 lbs (and that already after she lost a significant amount of weight on WW). ANyway- now she's probably around 115 lbs or so. She looks great. All muscle and endless energy. I enjoy her blogging- dry humor. I tend to find little "nuggets" of wisdom that stick with me when I go site searching for weight/fitness inspiration. With this site it was this: "Don't plan your runs around your life. Plan your life around your runs." Good stuff. In other words: stop making excuses and do it!

So I guess my new goals are obvious: get out the door and run! Tomorrow is Monday. I start training tomorrow. I'm going to try and get up early so I can do it alone without the kiddos. My WW meeting is at 11am. So it will be a packed morning but it will feel so good to do it all.

I'll post running result and WW results tomorrow!!

Just found a great 0-1 pt snack/meal that I love! I was checking out a website of a girl on WW who posted a ton of recipes. (www.weightwatchen.com) and I decided to try her "Veggie Filling."

Here it is:

1 tsp olive oil
1 tomato, diced
1 yellow squash, diced
2 small onion-thick slices
1 red bell pepper, sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
Parsley
Basil
Oregano
Cumin
Onion powder
Garlic powder
Salt
Pepper

Stir fry this all together and the whole pot is 1 pt. I used La Tortilla Factory's low carb garlic herb tortilla (0 pt because it has 8 g of fiber!!) and put 1 lite string cheese (1 pt) in it. I microwaved it for 1 minute and then piled on the vegging filling. WAY good for only 1 pt! It's like a meal! I'm a hot sauce fanatic too so of course I dowsed the whole thing with hot sauce. This might possibly be my new favorite snack!

Keeping my eye on the prize!

I gained 1.6 lbs. :( Not totally out of the blue. I was so shocked I didn't gain last week so I'm sure my "gain" held off until this week. But I'm not that upset about because I know I'm doing well and following the plan. Speaking of plans, Weight Watchers came out with a new, personalized plan. I like it because I get 2 more points a day! Go to weightwatchers.com for more details.

Well, I'm weaning Amelia this week. Poor thing. For weeks now we've all been sick and she has gotten it the worst. She's been up most nights every 2-3 hours and is just unhappy at the breast. On a hunch I gave her a full bottle of formula and she gulped it down like there was no tomorrow. Not only that, but she slept 12 hours straight! This happened with my first baby around this time too. My milk supply plumets and my babies are perfectly happy with bottles. So- this will more than likely be the beginning of the end ofbreastfeeding. So- if there are any questions about how many points I eat due to breastfeeding- they're solved now: NONE! I'm actually a little depressed about weaning. I really wanted to nurse Amelia longer, but she's so happy with the bottle and I don't think I have the mental energy to work to increase my supply. I nursed her 8 months...wow. I can't believe my baby is already 8 months. Anyway- that's my rambling about that.

Onto weight loss! Now that I figured I was probably overestimating how many nursing points I needed to eat, I can now have a sure point range that should result in a loss each week. I've been teetering on the edge of the 150's and I'm desperate to be a permenant 140's kinda girl for December. And hopefully a 130's (135 to be exact) in the beginning of 2007. Man- these last 15 lbs are really trying my patience! But I have to keep going.

I bought a bunch of stuff to make some delicious WW recipes this week so I'm excited to try it all out. I actually made a good brownie recipe last night. It's sounds disgusting, but you add 1 can black beans to 1 box of brownie mix and 1 cup of water. Blend and bake! 350 for 30 mins. It's actuallly quite good! 2 pts for 1/16th of dish.

I have a few food challenges coming up. Two "girl's night" events Thursday and Friday so I HAVE to save my Flex for that. I'm not holding true to my "save flex points" strategy. This week I have to to ensure a loss next Monday.

Down 1.2 lbs! I almost didn't go to a meeting becasue today turned out to be a busy day right from the get go. But I made the time to wegh in and I'm glad I did.

Gotta run!!

Ok- I got a pair of size 6 "skinny" jeans at the Gap last week and wore them with my new boots. I remember swearing I'd never wear a pair of those when they first reappeared. But then again- I was bigger and thought they'd only accent my bigness. I wore them today. Ed took a pic of me while we were outside in the backyard. What's the verdict on the skinny jeans? Yah or Nay?

:)

This week has been very crazy. Firstly everyone in my family was sick. Secondly Ed and I did a project we kept putting off. We cleaned out our attic! I'll spare you all the details, but it was an all day event Saturday and I'm just down right tired. It's now Sunday morning. Both kids are asleep and I "snuck" up and made some coffee. Imagine that? I'm alone, drinking coffee and blogging!!! :)

I'm sticking to my "honesty is the best policy" plan. Confession time. The last few days have been not so great point-wise. I seem to just run through my flex points in the beginning to mid week and then I'm just getting grasping at straws Friday-Sunday (weigh in and Flex Points renew Mondays). I even had a plan for the week. I knew Sunday (today) we were going to my in laws to decorate the Christmas tree and eat lunch. And because my mother in law makes the best treats- I wanted to save all my Flex for Sunday so I could indulge. Well wouldn't you know I spent every last one! Now it's Sunday and I have no Flex left. Not only that, but last night I went 8 pts over my daily and flex pts! That just sucks. I'm over eating and I need to reign myself back in. In the rush of the Holiday season I think I've been too generous in my eating. But, I did make one smart move.... There was a cookie swap I was invited to. But due to my recent lack of self control I knew if I went I'd eat a gazillion cookies, so I just decided not to go. Now- that's not really the Weight Watchers way- because really you never have to deprive yourself, you just need to plan. But since my planning skills are not great right now- I just backed out. I need to snap out of it. I looked back at my stats on my weigh in card and I've only lost 4 lbs since Halloween!! What?? At the beginning of this journey I was losing an easy 8 lbs a month, sometimes more. Granted, I know weight loss slows as you approach goal, but I think I'm not helping with all my "exceptions" lately.

Looking back at my diet journel over the last few weeks I've noticed some key problems:

Problem 1: I'm getting a 3-5 pts coffee drink (mocha) almost daily. That's 21-35 pts that I'm spending on mochas per week. That's a lot considering I only have 26 pts a day. Yikes.
Solution: Limit mochas to 3 times a week. This will be hard for me because I really am addicted!! But I'm willing to do it.

Problem 2: I'm hording my pts and then blowing them on high point foods. Example: I really love Willy's (a burrito place). My favorite burrito there is the Veggie with everything (including sour cream and guacamoli). It's 15 pts for the burrito alone. Add a serving of chips and that's a 20 pts meal. I get this twice a week. I do this type of thing a lot.
Solution: Get a kids burrito (at least 1/2 the size of a regular) and get everything on it. That would cut the points down signficantly. Avoid the chips and I can eat at my favorite place and still stay on plan easily.

Problem 3: Night eating. I get frantic at night. I can do well until abot 3pm. Then it's constant grazing and food is branded on my mind.
Solution: Try to stay busy between 3pm and 5pm. I've tried this a couple times and it works well. Keeps me out of the kitchen and moving. Another thing I heard that works for some women is starting your day at 5pm. What that means is that I start counting points at 5pm and end at 5pm the next day. That way the pressure is off for dinner and night time. I haven't actually tried this yet, but I really think I should give it a shot since I'm struggling at night. Seems like it would work for me.

Ok, there you have it. That's my plan for the next 7 days.

I'll post my weigh in results tomorrow night!

Down .8 lbs!!! Not too bad considering it was the week of Thanksgiving and I know I splurged over my points. I keep telling myself: just think how many pounds I would have gained if I had eaten the way I normally did the past Holidays. So I'm pretty happy with that. It was nice because most of my extended family hasn't seen me since I was 9 months pregnant or just immediately post partum so they were all really shocked by how thin I was. It was nice and motivating to keep this journey on the right path. My aunt just kept looking at me and saying she wants to be "skinny" like me. That felt good. I can't remember the last time I felt "skinny." I just told her: "Join Weight Watchers and don't stop!"

I have been very busy here in the post Thanksgiving days taking care of my sick babies (Ed included). We all have colds and my little baby girl has RSV so I'm having to give her inhaler treatments 4 times a day to help her breath better. Poor thing. We're both not sleeping at night. She wakes up unable to breath well and I have to get the inhaler out and then nurse her. It becomes a 1 hour ordeal. Ugh. But luckily I've been able to get up in the morning and start the day with some energy. God's grace I suppose...

I'm still trying to figure out how many points I should be eating. I've currently been on 28 pts a day but because Amelia is nursing less and eating more solids, I'm wondering if my weightloss is slowing because I'm overestimating how much she's actually eating from me. So I may experiment on 26 pts a day. If I get hungry, I'll adjust and eat. I'd really like to see some substantial loss this month. Especially with Christmas coming. After Christmas I'll breath easier and then it's the countdown to my 10 yr high school reunion in April!!! Can't wait!!

Well, I'm teetering on the 150 mark. I can't wait to see the 140's. I think my official weigh in was 151.2 lbs on Monday. Oh man, I really want to see the 140's next Monday....

Updated pics!!


I used to hate this pic, but now I love it because it really shows how much I've lost!

184 lbs





150 lbs

THANKSGIVING!!!! Well, I did good. By good, I mean I didn't binge on Thanksgiving day. Instead I over ate the day AFTER Thanksgiving! Right when I let my guard down, a hot dog bit me in the ass! :) We went to Knoxville, TN to get together with my mom's family and I did so well the first two days. Then the last day (we decided to stay one more night on a total whim) we went to this Christmas tree festival downtown. We walked, and walked, and walked (I had Amelia in a sling) and then we were all hungry. The ONLY food option was a hotdog. That was it! It was weird. So I ate one. Then we got home and I just went semi-nuts and ate another plate of Thanksgiving leftovers!!??? I was NOT hungry and yet everyone else came home and started filling their plates so I just followed. Immediately after I finished it I had that icky feeling and got really mad at myself. I stuffed myself to the point of wanting to sleep. So I did. I just wanted tomorrow to come so I could start over.

So I wake up this morning (still in Knoxville) after a long night of my baby coughing and running a fever. None of us slept. I just can't sleep when one of my kids are sick. I ended up nursing her almost all night to comfort her. Poor thing. But- as I was so tired and hanging on by a thread I thought to myself: "Hey, maybe all the calories I'm burning breastfeeding my sick baby will help with the damage I did overeating last night." I'm so vain... So I reluctantly wake up and head upstairs to start loading the car. I walk up from the basement, open the door and there it is. I big box of fresh donuts. DAMN IT!!!!! It's like Satan is setting boobie traps for me left and right. :) So, I grab one in a frazzled, sleepy state and down it. We finally got our car loaded with everything and I had a chance to look up the points. For a chocolate cake glazed donut it's 7pts!!! Pisser! So I logged it in my food diary and went on. So far I've stayed OP all day. It's 4:30pm and I have 6 pts left and I'm not even hungry. I'm craving sleep more than chocolate at this point in the day.

My husband is so sweet. My little sick one has been sleeping the last 2 hours and even though Ed is dead tired, he took Fischer to the park. AND he offered to bring me back a mocha when he comes home! He knows the way to my heart. Just thought I'd share.

Well, today is Saturday. Tomorrow is Sunday and the next day is Monday: weigh in day. My goal is to stay OP the next 48 hours (and beyond) and maybe see a loss. But I know there's a possibility I won't lose due to my mishap, so I'm just going to set a goal to make it to the meeting and stay positive. I have a whole month before Christmas to lose some more. Then once Christmas is over I'll rest a little easier! :) My ultimate goal is 135. I'm 150-152lbs right now..... It's getting close!

I tried to attach a recent pic, but I got a new computer and my iphoto isn't working properly. Ed is going to fix it soon and I'll be sure to post one! I need to wear my new size 6's!!!!

Oh. My. God. I had some gift certificates to use from my birthday last month and I finally had the time to go use them. I went into the Gap and looked at the jeans. I used to wear Gap Long and Lean jeans in a size 14 back in the day. Well, I decided to try on some. I grabbed an 8 and walked around looking some more. Then, randomly, I went back and traded the 8's for a 6. I went into the dressing room and guess what????? They fit! And they really even THAT tight. I cannot believe it! I'm so happy. A size 6 jeans!!!! I can hardly believe it. I'm so glad I've been so faithful to this eating plan. It is really paying off! :)

Just had to share.

:)

Weigh in is in 2 days. I'll post results then!

Proof there is a God! As you can read in my last few posts I've been really discouraged and was on a plateau. Not having any significant losses and even having small gains. This whole past week has been awful. I've been so bloated, which has made my jeans feel tight and I've been retaining water like a mad woman. My scale has been all over the place. 153 one day and then 159 the next! I was really upset.

Then I get to my meeting this morning and totally prep the receptionist who weighed me.

Me: "I've had a really bad few weeks. I'm totally expecting a gain"
Receptionists: "Well, step on and let's see."
Me: (taking shoes and jacket off) "I'm even expecting my "lady friend" this month so I'm really bloated" (why did I share that? I have NO idea. I'm a dork)
Receptionist: *awkward smile*

I step on

Receptionists: "Wow- you did great!" *hands me back my weigh in record*

3.4 lbs gone! WHAT????!!!! How is that possible? I was so thrilled. I needed this so badly. I was really feeling a bit helpless.

Last night as I went to bed I talked to God a little. I shared my heart on how yucky I've been feeling. It's been sorta like a dream come true to lose this much weight and I was so sure I would get to goal. Then I stopped believing that in the last few weeks and resorted to some old thought patterns. I just told God that if there was anyway He could help me have just a little loss- I'd be so grateful. Then I just felt ridiculous praying about it in the first place. Ya know, since weight loss is such a pressing matter! Well, not only did I have a small loss. I had the biggest loss I've had so far this whole weight loss journey! So, there you have it, God answers prayers! Even if they're vain and stupid.

Something is just off. Every day this week I've crept up on the scale. I weighed myself tonight and I'm 159!!!! What??? I'm really starting to panic a bit. Up until now I've lost easily as long as I stayed on plan. But then things have just seemed to get a little screwy in the last 2 weeks. I know I went on vacation and that was a challenge- but I thought I handled it well. Then I get back into my routine at home and the numbers are going up. So I spoke with an online friend who is doing WW and breastfeeding and she thinks I'm eating too many nursing points- which would explain my why my weight loss has slowed down. So I altered that and here I am still creeping up on the scale. I'm due for my period any day now. It's my second cycle since having Amelia. So it's a little wacky. I'm late according to my calendar but I know that doesn't mean a whole lot since cycles can vary after they start back up after birth. Part of me is slightly paranoid I'm pregnant. Although I show no symptoms of that other than my period being late. Ugh. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was on such a roll and now I feel so emotional. Like the motivation is being drained out of me. And with the Holidays ahead of me- I feel like I'm not going to see a big loss until January! :(

An example of my lack of motivation was last night. Ed and I went on a date to see the Atlanta Thrashers play. I went there with 2 pts left for the day. My plan was to get a small latte (2 pts). Not only did I get a latte, but I also got a cinnamon pretzel (the big, hot, buttery kind), and 2 beers! I don't know what got into me. It's like I just went nuts. I know that there will be times that I'll go over in points- but it's been so long since then that I feel like I've broken my magic pattern. It's so hard for me, personaitly wise, to not throw the baby out with the bath water. I'm an all or nothing kinda chick. It takes a lot of me to brush myself off and walk on. But I know that's exactly what I have to do to be successful.

I felt compeled the last few days to blog here. Mainly because I need to procees my feelings and also be accountable to friends. No journey comes without bumps in the road. Just because I hit a bump doesn't mean I turn around and go back. I need to keep going. Being honest with myself is a huge part of how I've come this far. So being honest is what is eventually going to get me to goal. Now if all that "pep talk" will translate into my daily eating habits, I'll be fine! :)

One thing I need to let go of is the dead line I set in my head. Because I lost so steadily in the last 5 months, I had calculated that I would be at goal by Thanksgiving. Well that isn't going to happen. Not unless I lose 24 lbs in a week. So, I'm officially taking the pressure off and allowing myself to lose how ever slowly or quickly I lose. I think a healthy time line would be to get to goal by Amelia's 1st birthday in April. That allows me plenty of time. That also happens to be the same month as my 10 year high school reunion- so that's cool.

Well, there you have it. I feel better now that I got that all out. I really hope this "funk" passes. I have weigh in on Monday. I usually really look forward to weigh in day but not this week. Nonetheless, I'm going. I need to be at a meeting and absorb everything. I know I'll have a gain.

I'll post weigh in results Monday.

Victory! I weighed in yesterday and I had a .4 gain. I count that as a victory because I know I was not as good as I should have been at the beach. Considering I ate doritos, fried stuff, beer, wine, and lots of snacks! I was actually worried I would have gained 2 lbs or something. But, I'm back in Atlanta and back to my routine. I went to the grocery store and bought a TON of food. I really want to eat at home as much as possible to avoid added sodium and junk. They opened a new Super Wal-Mart near me (apparently the first ever urban wal-mart) and they carry this great peanut butter called Naturally More. It's all natural and has flaxseeds in it. It's only 3 pts for 2 tbsps. Considering regular peanut butter is 5 pts per serving, I'm glad to have the option. I actually like the crunch the flaxseeds give. I put some on a rice cake for a good 4 pt breakfast. The protein in the peanut butter keeps me full too. I'm trying to branch out and look for new things to eat to change it up a bit.

Phew! I went out of town for 7 days to beautiful St. George island in Florida and I actually maintained my weight!!! I had a few questionable moments while there. Hushpuppies, fried shrimp, french fries....just to name a few. I tried to counteract that with long walks on the beach with Amelia in the sling. My goal was to maintain and according to my home scale I did. I'll weigh in Monday and give an official update then. I think I'm due for my "lady business" soon- so I've been slightly bloated and craving sugar. :) I'm gonna focus on drinking a ton of water between now and weigh in. I think I've overdosed on high sodium foods which leads to major water retention. Hopefully I'll flush some stuff out!!

Going grocery shopping tomorrow. Stocking up on some fruits and veggies. I feel a bit out of my element lately. The last few weeks have been filled with birthday parties, vacations and just plain bad food choices. With the holidays ahead of me, I need to get back into a healthy routine. I'm gonna try some new recipes and change things up a bit. I'd love to be in the 140's by Thanksgiving. And maybe, just maybe be at goal for Christmas. What an amazing gift that would be!!! Think I could do it??

Well today is my birthday and I ate some serious food. This morning I had 2 and a half Krispy Kreme donuts for breakfast. EEEEEK! Then a fat burrito for lunch. And I still have birthday cake. Last night I went to dinner with some friends to eat and I way over did it on food and alcohol. Spent all my weekly points. Today I'll go about 6 pts over. I NEVER do that. I always stick to plan. I started to get depressed about it- but then I said to myself: it's my birthday! Sure, I could have made better choices, but it is what it is and I can't punish myself. I'll have a piece of cake with Ed tonight and then its right back OP tomorrow morning. I still want a loss this week- so I'm gonna be strict!! :)

Below are some updated pics. 155 lbs and a size 8 jeans!!!

155.6 lbs!!!! I lost 2 lbs!! This means I'm exactly 20 lbs from goal. Oh my.... It feels weird to be so close. I know 20 lbs may not be "close" to some people- but when you started out at 225- IT'S CLOSE!!! It feels good. I have noticed my weight loss slow down the closer I get. I may not be at goal by Christmas, but I'll be thinner than I am now- so that's enough for me.

This past week I did bring my daily points down 2 points from 32 to 30. Even though I don't technically need to go down to 30 points until I get below 150 lbs. I felt it was time to got down because I was maintaining my weight instead of having any significant losses for a couple weeks there. But- since I'm nursing, I want to be sensitive to my supply and what I need so if I'm hungry- I'll eat. But 30pt/day is what the plan is. All in all I feel like I'm thinking less and less about food. This is a big lifestyle change for me. It's practically in my genetic makeup to think about food 24/7. It feels odd for me to not be so obsessed over what I'm eating. Heck, at my son's birthday I was so busy talking and watching him have fun that I forgot to eat dinner. But because of that I was able to eat a piece of the yummy carrot cake I made. (Shaped into a dinosaur with cream cheese icing dyed blue, mind you). And I still lost this week! I really can't believe how easy it is now. It's really becoming habit. I don't feel like I'm on a diet. I never feel deprived. Ever.

I also have a non scale victory to share. My friend's husband had a single friend that was staying when them a couple weeks ago. Ed and I had gone over there to eat one day and we met him. My friend said the single guy talked about how "attractive Ed's wife is." Apparently he thought I was available before he realized I was married. Well, yes, I'm taken- but thanks for making my day!!! It feels really good to be "hot" again. Ha ha.

So, my birthday is Wednesday. Tomorrow night I'm going out to eat at a french restaraunt. I'm planning on spending a lot of my points. I think I'll be eating some cheese and bread and don't forget the martinis!!! Being 155 lbs is the best birthday present I could ever get.

I weighed in at 157.6 lbs last night. That's only a .4 loss. :( I know it's still a loss, but I was expecting more. Sunday I got on the scale at home and it said 155 lbs. I was thrilled - as it's been a while since I've had a big loss in one week. Then I stepped on the scale Monday morning and it said 157 lbs. (Day of weigh in). ?? So I decided to research and look back at my tracker and determine why I seem to be slowing down on the weight loss.

Several things came up:

Not a lot of fruit

Not a lot of water

Lots of fast food and high sodium meals (even though I stayed under my points)

My daily point allowance may need to be dropped by 2 since Amelia is on 2 solid food meals a day

I had lots of "events" where I did a lot of guessing about point value in the foods.


So, I'm moving forward (not dwelling on the past) and I'm making some changes. I'm gonna back off on the Lean Cuisines (sodium) and fast food. I'll reach for fruit instead of fat free pudding. And I'll drop down to 30 pts a day instead of 32 pts. Hopefully that will kick it into gear a bit.

This month is a bit challenging because my mother in law, brother in law, Ed, Me and Fischer all have birthdays in October. So there were/are some celebrations that can trip me up food-wise. This Saturday is Fischer's birthday party. I'm making 2 big pots of chili and I'm making him a carrot cake dinosaur cake. So- I'd like to have a piece with him. My goal this week is to save my weekly allowance points until then.

Whenever I experience a disappointment in relation to my weight loss journey I really have to resist being too reactive. I have to push myself to focus on the future and not dwell on the past. It's absolutely vital to keep going in order to get to goal. But it's so hard not to slip into past habits.

I'm just now remembering what I did when I stepped on the scale Sunday and it said 155 lbs. I thought: "Wow- that's gonna be a 3 lbs loss from last week when I weigh in tomorrow. I think I'll treat myself to a yummy dinner." I had a chili dog and fries. I counted my chickens before they hatched. And even though that chili dog and fries were still under my points (as unbelievable as that is-lol) I still chose unwisely and paid for it on the scale. One thing my leader says is: "You can't fool the scale. Cheating is only cheating yourself- not the scale."

Focus ahead!! :)

Well I weighed in at exactly 158 lbs last night. I was able to celebrate two big things. One, last night was my 16th week attending meetings. Studies within WW show that those that make it to meetings (not just weigh ins) for 16 weeks are usually in it for the long haul and get to goal. I got a charm with two hands clapping. I put it on my 10% keychain. That meant a lot to me to get to my 16th week. And two: I got my 25 lb magnet. I'm down 26 lbs since joining in June. YEAH!!!

So it was a successful meeting and very motivating.

:)

Is it Monday again already?? Geez...time is flying. My meeting is tonight but I have the time - so I figure I'd update now. According to my WW homescale I'm 157.6 lbs. That's 1.6 lbs down! My homescale is usually pretty accurate. In fact- I usually weigh slightly less when I weigh in at the meeting. So we'll see.....

This week was good but busy. I went to church yesterday and 3, yes THREE, people did not recognize me. I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen since Amelia was about 2 months old. She was talking to Ed and I walked up and said hi. She said hi kinda oddly and then started talking to Ed again. Then she looked back and her eyes widened and she said: "Oh my God! Look at you!" She totally didn't even know it was me when I first said hello. How's that for a non-scale victory? It makes it all worth it... I feel so good about myself lately. It makes it easier and easier to stay OP.

Yesterday didn't come without it's challenges though. Ed and I went to the first church service at 9:30am. Then we served in the nursery for the 11am service. I was STARVING and ate a bagel with cream cheese. It was good but 7 points. Dang. Then after that we got lunch at Subway. I was able to control my points there but then we headed to a baby shower after that. Talk about challenging. I had 4 deviled eggs and some pasta salad. By the time we got home it was 4pm and I had 2, yes 2, points left for the day. But, I was determined to stay OP. Luckily I was full from the day's grazing and I decided to go on a walk around 5pm. I put my handy WW pedometer on that can calculate activity points earned for a given activity. I walked until I earned 1 AP. So that left me with 3 points to work with. Better than 2 right? So I took advantage of Weight Watchers infamous No Point Soup I made the day before. I ate a huge bowl of that and downed two glasses of water. I was definitely full. (Now I know why so many people say that soup is the secret to their success). Ed and I got the kids to bed and I sat down with a Smart Ones Mississippi Mud Pie (3 pts) and watched some TV. I did it! I conquered the "it's 4pm and I only have 2 pts" dilema!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It gets easier and easier to stay OP when you do it day after day. Things that seem impossible really aren't all that impossible. Before I would have thought staying OP with only 2 pts left for the day was impossible. Not so!

I'll post my official weight after my meeting...

Here's the soup recipe:


No POINTS® Value Vegetable Soup

Ingredients

2 medium garlic clove(s), minced
1 medium onion(s), diced
2 medium carrot(s), diced
1 medium sweet red pepper(s), diced
1 medium stalk celery, diced
2 small zucchini, diced
2 cup green cabbage, shredded
2 cup Swiss chard, chopped
2 cup cauliflower, small florets
2 cup broccoli, small florets
2 tsp thyme, chopped
6 cup vegetable broth
2 Tbsp parsley, or chives, fresh, chopped
1/2 tsp table salt, or to taste
1/4 tsp black pepper, or to taste
2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice, optional

Instructions

Put garlic, vegetables, thyme and broth into a large soup pot. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat; reduce heat to low and simmer 10 minutes.

Stir in parsley or chives; season to taste with salt, pepper and lemon juice. Yields about 1 cup per serving.

Here's a photo progression. Wow.


June


July


August


September


October

Well I made it into the 150's! 159.2 lbs to be exact. Oh thank God! I lingered in the 160's for way longer than I wanted. I looked back at my weigh in records and I was in the 160's for 6 weeks. That was way longer than the other "decades" I was in. :) I think officially being in the 150's is important for me because it means I'm smaller than I was after I had Fischer. I know I was 147 lbs when I got pregnant with Fischer so I'll shoot for that to be my next monthly goal.

I had my weigh in last night and then came straight home and ate a TON of food. It was a planned binge. But I pretty much blew all my weekly allowance points in one fail swoop. I had a pc of coconut cake, 4 oreos, several slices of french bread with yummy cheese spread and nutella. Oh and 3 glasses of wine. BINGE!!! But I don't feel bad because it wasn't an emotional binge fest- it was well calculated. And I accounted for everything that went into my mouth. That's the beauty of Weight Watchers. Nothing is off limits. If you want to have a night to just eat, you can. I don't do it often, but every once in a while it's a neccessity. It actually helps keep me on plan. Knowing that I can eat whatever I want within reason.

Well October is a busy month for this family. Ed's birthday is the 13th. My mother in law's is the 10th. Fischer and mine is on the 25th. Then Oct 28th through Nov 4th we're going to the beach with some friends of ours. (I know- beach in Oct/Nov doesn't make sense- but it's free and it's a vacation) Luckily these friends know I'm on Weight Watchers and I really don't have any worries about staying on plan while there. For my birthday I've asked for money to spend on clothes! I can't wait to get some new (smaller) things.

Well, I've had a week of sleepless nights here lately. Both my babies are sick and my girl seems to be teething as well. So I've not slept well at all in the last week. I wish I could crawl into bed and sleep the day away. Maybe one of these days I'll get smart enough to go to bed early.

I'll post some new pics soon of my size 8 jeans!!

I broke the curse! I'm down 2 lbs. I weighed in at 160 lbs exactly. Dang I wish it was in the 150's, but that's ok. Next week will be it. Witnessed another friend at my meeting get to goal tonight. So motivating....

I also have a non scale victory to share... I bought a pair of size 8 jeans and they fit! They fit real good. In fact- I might have to buy another pair because my 10's are a bit baggy. Oh I cannot express how good that feels. I visualized myself months ago getting into a size 8 jean for the Fall and I've done it! I was a size 14 when I first visualized that.

One of the "tools for success" that Weight Watchers talks about is "anchoring." Learing how to visualize something so strongly that it helps you in the moment to do the right thing and focus. It worked!! I feel sooooooo good! I had lunch with a friend Sunday and we were walking around in the mall talking about "life" things. I just kept saying how much my life has changed since getting on this Weight Watcher path. It's been so long since I've had the focus to visualize something and accomplish it. I used to pride myself at being able to do that when I was in high school. I was athletic, creative, fun loving...I just loved being a woman. Then something happened and I slowly lost my luster. And then once it was gone, I just kinda embraced myself as I was. And while that sounds relatively healthy- it really wasn't. I think I just talked myself into settling with something I wasn't at all happy with. I could have easily settled into adulthood as an over weight woman. Heck- I could have rationalized it and accepted it. But I know I would have never really been happy with that part of me. And it was that realization that triggered me to do this. Life is too short to gain and lose the same 5 lbs and lament about my body. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and half way doing a diet and then giving up. I can't tell you how relieved I am to have finally tackled this and am on the right track.

I got a hair cut today. I was feeling so "saucy." I just told my hairdresser to do what he wanted. I love it! I kept my length, but added layers and bangs. Feels good. I tell you what also feels good. To not decide on a hairstyle in correlation to my body size. You girls no what I mean.

I'll post some new pics soon. I need a good one with my new hairstyle and new SIZE 8 jeans!!!

Oh no!!!!!! Had weigh in last night and I was up .8 lbs! What? I knew it would happen at some point. Everyone has a gain every now and then on this journey but I still don't like it. :( The only thing I can think of is that I ate out a lot this week and didn't drink as much water as I normally do. It was a crazy busy week. I also ate a lot of Lean Cuisines which have a ton of sodium- which shows up on the scale (especially if you're not drinking a lot of water). Anyway, I was really bummed after I weighed in and then sat down for the meeting. But then my friend who just reached her goal last week told me she gained a couple times too. She said the week after she gained, she had a big loss. So hopefully next week will be a good loss for me. We'll see...

On the upside- I went shopping with a friend on Sunday and I tried on a size 8 jeans. They fit!!! They were really tight- but I got them bottoned! It felt so good to get them on. :) I didn't buy them though. Mostly because my birthday is next month and I know I'll be 8 lbs or so lighter and would like to spend my birthday money on new clothes. It was so funny because I really enjoyed shopping. I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed shopping. It was great.

Goal for this week is to drink more water and limit eating out to one time. I'm trying not to get too focused on my gain. It's just so hard when you go from an average 2 lbs loss per week to a .8 gain. Eating in will help me to control the ingredients in the food (which helps me know the actual points) and portions. I bought a Weight Watchers cookbook called In No Time. There are lots of yummy recipes in there that I want to try.

I'll post another update at next Monday's weigh in. Tootles!

Weighed in last night and was down 1.2 lbs since Thursday! It was nice being back at my regular meeting. And I was so glad I went because one of my friends got to goal! She looked great and she couldn't stop smiling. I clapped so hard for her when she went up to get her keychain. I can't wait to get to my goal (135 lbs). I just gotta keep doing what I'm doing.

I tried a new recipe tonight that I got on a card at my meeting. Kiwi-lime pork chops. SO good and only 5 points! Bascially you just broil the pork until done. Then on the side in a bowl you peel and dice 2 kiwi, add crushed pineapple (in it's own juice), juice of one fresh lime and as much cilantro as you want. I put it in the food processor for a couple seconds just to blen it more- but you don't have to. It was a nice, clean, fresh meal. Nice change. I also steamed some broccoli and sauteed some fresh spinach with garlic and onion. All zero points and packed with nutrition. After dinner I had 9 points left! So I had some chips and salsa and a Smart Ones dessert. I love those days that get away from you and you end up with a bunch of points to splurge on.

Maybe next Monday I'll in the 150's!!!

Here are some updated pics. Man- I'm getting there aren't I? YAH!

I was 162 even this morning when I took this pic.




















Here's a comparison shot. It really motivates me to see it. I'm 184 lbs in the first shot

Went to weigh in on Thursday (not my usual meeting day but I wanted to get in a meeting this week). I lost .2 lbs!!! Now, I know that's not a lot compared to my average 1.5 -2 lbs per week but I'm counting it as a major success because I was sure I'd gained and I was terrified to get on the scale. There's nothing like a vacation with ALL FOOD FREE to blow you diet. But when there's a will, there's a way. I made a way to lose. I'm really proud of myself.

The leader (not my usual leader) talked about how we give ourselves permission too much. "It's my birthday." "I'm going on vacation." "I've been good so far, might as well have a few days and splurge." Sooner or later that permission turns into a month long binge fest. I could so relate to that. It was funny she talked about that because I was able to share how in the past I've always given myself permission on holidays/vacations to blow my "diet." And I shared how I planned well to not blow it this time AND I still ate food I loved. I'm finding that if you plan well, you can do Weight Watchers any time, anywhere. You just have to be determined. Before "being determined" meant missing out. At least that's how it seemed to me. But now I plan and then the stress isn't there when the food is in front of my face. Sure- while in the Caribbean I thought: "Ya know? I think I just ate too much. Or I probably shouldn't have ordered that margarita." But that's all part of the journey. You just pick back up and make the best decisions you can.

I'm planning on weighing in at my normal Monday night meeting. (Even though I just weighed in on Thursday) I miss everyone and miss my leader. I haven't seen them in 2 weeks. She's so motivating. And a friend of mine there is really close to goal so I hope I didn't miss her reaching it. I want to celebrate with her! I'll post the results. This morning I was 162.4 lbs That's a pound lost since Thursday. I wouldn't be surprise if I lose a lot because I'm getting back to my normal eating routine and drinking a ton of water.

My goal is to be 155 lbs by Sept 31st. We'll see.... I will say my size 10's are getting awfully baggy!!!! YAH!

I'm back from the Caribbean!!!! And....I maintained my weight! It would have been great to lose- but I knew that would be especially hard. We were at a 5 star resort and had all our meals paid for. I tell you what- it was sooooo tempting not to order fries. For some reason that was the biggest temptation. For breakfast I ordered the tropical fruit plate every morning. It came with fresh mango, pineapple, grapes, cantelope, and honey dew melon. It was so juicy and yummy! It made it easy not to eat the pastries. For lunch I stuck with salads with chicken. Dinners I'd eat grilled fish, lobster and shrimp. SO yum. The seafood is so fresh there. One night I let myself split a chocolate cake with my mom. That was good but I honestly found myself full after a couple bites. It was so rich. I tried my best to keep track of points- but it's so hard not knowing the ingredients and portions.

I got back yesterday and I got right back to business. I even had an extra point left last night and didn't spend it. SHOCK! I got on the scale this morning and it said 164 lb even. I'm going to try and make it to a meeting tomorrow night. I really need it. My leader is so motivating and inspiring. I need to jump start back into my routine again.

I'm now comfortably in my 10's. In fact some of my 10's are just slightly baggy!!! I can't wait to get into 8's. Hopefully by next month.....

I'll post after my meeting tomorrow night.